


Cleaning Out My Closet

by CHENstagram



Series: One Sheep, Two Sheep [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ALL WARNINGS POSTED ON EXORDIUM, Creepy, Even worse than the first part, F/M, Gen, Horror, M/M, Multi, Mystery, Other, Psychological Horror, Psychological Thriller, School Life, Slice of Life, Suspense, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-29 07:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 63,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7675936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHENstagram/pseuds/CHENstagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The murders continue, and the line between reality and fantasy starts to blur for Jongdae. Will he be able to keep up with the pretense of being normal?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. TRACK 2A: they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GUESS WHAT ME MYSELF AND I AGAIN](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=GUESS+WHAT+ME+MYSELF+AND+I+AGAIN).



> (Warning: Please don't read this if you haven't read the first part, My Name Is) //[ a03 link](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4368566)//  
> Also, here is the complete list of [WARNINGS](http://the-exordium.livejournal.com/8431.html)
> 
> Readers,  
> I know this is way overdue but I've only recently decided to continue with it. I've got all the plot planned out up til the end. The only thing to do is to write it. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking to this series. I know the plot twist at the end of the first book might have scared and turned off some potential fans to the story but weird shit is my thing. So again, thank you for staying. 
> 
> Enjoy the wild ride.

[ TRACK 2 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJw5NzrLHz4)

 

>   
>  // _Some of them want to use you_
> 
> _Some of them want to get used by you_ //

 

“I got you this doll!”

 

Eleven-year-old Jongdae narrowed his eyes, staring at the boy with distaste. _He sucks at lying_. It wasn't entirely false, though, since it was supposed to be his birthday gift. Jongdae reached out, taking the the blue-eyed stuffed cow toy in his arms. It was fluffy and soft and everything he wanted.

 

"Don't lie," he gritted out, "Your mother got me this doll."

 

"At least I got you one!" The boy kicked the ground with his dirt-ridden shoe, already in danger of splitting apart. Jongdae could tell the boy seemed to think he didn't appreciate the gift, which wasn't the case. "Your mother doesn't even get you birthday presents," the boy rushed. "They do everything for your brother but—"

 

The sharp look in Jongdae's gaze wavered. He hated it, sort of, but even more the way the boy choked on his own words at the sight of the sad look in his eyes. The boy groaned, turning away.

 

"I love it," Jongdae chirped after a while. He coaxed the corners of his mouth to pull up. His smile rivaled the sun. "I should name him after you."

 

"Why? We don't look anything alike."

 

"Like that has to do with anything. I'm calling him... Moo...min.” After hearing the snort coming from the boy, Jongdae hugged the stuffed toy as he looked around the empty playground. That was weird; this wasn't how he remembered it. His eyes grew foggy, and everything wavered for a second before becoming clear again. "He seems really expensive. Is your... mom okay?"

 

"She..." The boy looked down at the ground as Jongdae watched him, worried. "She doesn't know I gave it to you. She brought it to me as _my_ birthday present."

 

"What!" Jongdae exclaimed, standing up straight.

 

"Your birthday is more important! Your parents don't get you anything!" he reasoned, and when he turned around there were tears on his eyes. It was unlike him. The boy furiously tried to wipe them away with his sleeve. "Especially since... this is our last day. We're moving tonight."

 

Jongdae gulped hard, throat feeling too tight and dry all of a sudden. He hugged the Moomin doll tighter, not wanting to let go. It would be the last thing the boy would leave him with. "Does it have anything to do with those big men outside your door last time?" he asked. "They sounded really scary."

 

The boy nodded, and he kicked the nearest soccer ball away from him. "Dad says we have to do it fast. So... you better take care of... Moomin for me. When you’re rich and famous, you'll leave your parents anyway and find me, right?"

 

"Don't leave me," Jongdae quietly pleaded, but he knew it was a lost cause. The move had already  been discussed for months. Loosening his hold on the toy, he hugged the boy instead. The latter seemed a little taken aback, but that didn't stop Jongdae from pulling him even closer.

 

"I won't forget you," he whispered, "And all the times you beat me in running. You'll lose to me someday."

 

"Not my fault you’re slow." In between the angry tears, the boy stuck out his tongue.

 

It was starting to get late, to which Jongdae wondered why when it had seemed sunny just a little while ago. Worry churned inside his stomach, mixed with a little bit of fear. If his mother found out he wasn't back by six, he would get a real beating. His own brother, Jongdeok, also didn’t really like how he spent so much time with the boy instead of him now. Jongdae thought it was much better for them to play with kids their own age, and that meant none for Jongdeok, since their mother didn’t really let him out of the house that often. Plus, Jongdeok always got everything, so what was Jongdae to lose?

 

The boy looked around, also noticing the impending dusk. "Race you to my house?"

 

"Your house?"

 

"Yeah, because I have one more thing to give you."

 

Jongdae rolled his eyes. "I already told you that I won't accept those shoes back. Those are yours."

 

Crossing his arms, the other replied, "Well, maybe you just don't want to lose at our last race."

 

"Using reverse psychology on me now, huh?" Jongdae bent down to tie his shoelaces.

 

"What?" the boy asked, confused. "Nerd." And with that, he ran on a head start.

 

The playground wasn't that far from both of their houses, which faced each other between the road. Unlike the Kim's humongous one, though, the boy's house was a lot more smaller, not the same with its homely quality, which soared into new heights every time Jongdae came over to spend time with the kid. They found a vast number of black cars strewn around outside the house.

 

Looking up, they both saw an unfamiliar man from the second story window who had just closed the curtains. This surprised them both. The boy gasped from beside Jongdae and took off running.

 

"H—hey!" Jongdae went after him.

 

Inside, the house was in shambles. The only lightbulb which used to illuminate the whole living room was in pieces on the wooden floor, and the rest of the furniture were either overturned or destroyed.

 

"Da—"

 

Jongdae’s hand slapped over the boy's mouth, preventing him from making their presence known. A shuffle of feet sounded from upstairs and Jongdae dragged the struggling boy into the corner.   


Jongdae glared at him. "Stop. Let's leave. I don't feel good here."

 

But the boy wasn't having any of it. He shrugged off Jongdae's hand, pushing him away. "Are you crazy?! I need to check on my parents!" he growled, voice cracking as it peaked, and even before Jongdae could catch him, he had already ascended the stairs, two steps at a time.

 

Jongdae wanted to rip his hair out in frustration. He _really_ didn't like this. He still followed the boy, though. They almost bumped into each other when the boy suddenly tensed up at the sound of a familiar voice

 

"Please! Give us one more month! We—We'll return it!" It sounded like the boy's mother. Jongdae gripped the railings tightly., He was shaking so hard.

 

"Don't make me laugh." Jongdae couldn't recognize this voice. It was different. He'd never heard it before. "You were about to escape, weren't you? Tsk tsk, we really didn't want to do this."

 

"Hide, Jongdae," the boy suddenly whispered.

 

"What?" he asked incredulously. "Where? And what about you?"

 

"Hide under my bed. I don't think there's anyone in there. They are all in..." The boy gulped. " _Please_. I just want to see if my mom's okay."

 

"You're stupid. They're danger—" His words were cut off when it was the boy's turn to cover his mouth with his hand, dragging him inside the boy's bedroom. Action figurines and posters greeted him, and in the course of it he bumped into a picture frame. The frame cracked, the sound silencing everything in the house.

 

"Who's in the other room?" someone asked from the hall.

 

"I don't know, I think—"

 

Jongdae felt the force of the boy's kick from behind his back and he stumbled downwards. "T—!" Another kick sent him rolling under the bed, beside some of the discarded toys and hidden objects. "Fine!" he whispered harshly. "Just— Just be... careful out there."

 

The boy threw the Moomin doll at him. "Don't forget about me," were his parting words before disappearing from Jongdae's sight.

 

Jongdae's eyes snapped shut, fear closing in on him. _Please don't let anything happen to him_. They should've just run and called the police. The police were good people; they'd save both of them and the boy's family, right?

 

A gunshot echoed and Jongdae covered his ears. _That wasn't him. That wasn't... That was the police... finally saving them._ And then there was a scream. It was the boy's. Jongdae tightened his hold on the doll. He couldn't get out. He _wouldn't_.

 

His mother, although she may not have loved him, would save them. Probably. She was just across the street! A whip in the back would be nothing compared to this. Jongdae would take all of the beatings just for them to get out alive.

 

"Moomin... Moomin... It wasn't him!" He couldn't help but scream to himself when another gunshot echoed from the open door.

 

"Had to shut that bitch down." Voices were becoming clearer, and only then did Jongdae realize that they were now in the room. He had to cover his mouth with his hand so he wouldn't gasp.

 

_Don't look under the bed don't look under the bed don't look under—_

 

"Ah shit, the boss won't be pleased with us," one croaked out. He sounded old. Jongdae spotted shiny leather shoes in his range of view, and it was all he could do to not just run away. He had to stay, and he had to stay quiet. He had to stay _alive._

 

Yet the next thing that happened made him scream again. There was a heavy thump and the boy's dead eyes stared at him, face to face again on the floor, blood oozing out from his neck wound. For a moment, the world stopped.

 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

 

The next thing he knew, a foreign face was blocking his view, menacing grin glaring at him and making his insides turn.

 

Jongdae cried out as he tried to leave, but the man's long arms trapped his leg in a lock hold. He was dragged out while the sound of laughter echoed throughout the room. "No no no no!" He called out, pleading to God and everyone who could save him right now.

 

When his eyes were forced to open, he saw three men sizing him up. Two were small, and looked somehow young behind those sunglasses. The big one, the one who had dragged Jongdae, had a dangerous aura around him. Jongdae's eyes shifted from them to the dead body on the floor, all limp and void of life.

 

"Don't— Don't kill me!" he cried out, shielding his face with the doll.

 

They snatched it away from him, one of the small guys laughing. "Exactly how old are you and why are you still playing with dolls? You should be taught a thing or two."

 

The big man bent to his level, a crazy glint in his eyes. "Kill you?" He laughed hoarsely, and the two followed. Jongdae shuffled backwards, eager to get away. "Why would we do that before getting to enjoy this?" Then the man did the unthinkable, touching his arm as he screamed, recoiling.

 

One of the other guys held him down to the floor, the other one laughing maniacally as he muffled Jongdae's screams with his own doll. The man proceeded to touch him, hand grasping his thrashing legs. Jongdae felt like dying.

 

His shirt got torn off next and he only cried harder. The man had no remorse as he touched Jongdae's torso all over. Jongdae was disgusted. Jongdae wanted to die, _die_ just like his friend.

 

"Shut up!" The man holding the doll got fed up and forced Moomin to his throat a little deeper and it got in the way of his breathing. He was suffocating.

 

"Are you guys done?!" Jongdae couldn't believe it as one of the men appeared from the door. The doll rolled off him when his assaulter let go, also surprised at the sudden appearance. "What the fuck are you doing! That's a child for fuck's sake!" He gave all the men in the room a glare. "You already killed one, that's enough."

 

"What do we do with him then?" The big guy pinched his stomach to which Jongdae yelped.

 

"Leave him. The police are coming, someone reported. Maybe the fuckers next door. Get moving."

 

Just like that, Jongdae was forgotten. His breathing was ragged, heart beating fast. They didn't kill him. He wished they had. Jongdae grabbed the doll, holding it close to his chest like his life depended on it.

 

 _I'm alive_.

 

"Y—you are...?" Jongdae stared at Moomin. It just spoke to him. And it was in the voice of the boy. "Y—you... you're... you're alive and inside this doll?"

 

_Yes, Jongdae. Humans. They did this to us, Jongdae. They touched us._

 

"Yes, yes!" Jongdae hugged Moomin, glad that his companion never left. He didn't register the sirens of the police car outside, the sound of his own heartbeat rising above all the noise around him. "Moomin, I won't let them touch us again. I _won't_."

 

_I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I—_

 

Jongdae opened his eyes, jolting back to reality. The nightmare had visited him again, but today it wasn't so scary anymore.

 

A smile crept to his lips.

 

»

 

The thick, suffocating air of tension went unnoticed at the breakfast table, the rest of his family too busy with their food to even pay attention — or at least that was what it looked like. Unease coiled at the pit of his stomach at the thought of his father and his brother knowing, but in the end he realized he shouldn't be disturbed. Blood was what tied this family together, after all.

 

As soon as Jongdae arrived at the table, Jongdeok pushed himself away from it. Not looking at Jongdae at all, he went out without a word, his food untouched.

 

He wasn't the only one. Both their parents didn't quite seem to be in that moment, still frozen, uninterested in all the food laid out in front of them. Mrs. Kim stared down at her plate, unblinking. His dad hid his face behind the daily newspaper. Jongdae thought it  was a little bit rude, making food wait. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He wasn't going to let his family members ruin his mood, though, so he trudged on, sunk his teeth in his food, and powered through his meal with a huge smile on his lips.  


This was the first in a long time that he had genuinely felt happy. His mask had come off last night, and a little bit of the adrenaline never left. He wanted to do it _again_.

 

"Mmm." Jongdae savored the syrupy goodness of the pancakes that lingered in his mouth "As always, your pancakes are out of this world, Mother. Though I'd suggest—"

 

"—Jongdae." His mother whipped her head around, the fork making a clattering noise as it dropped from her fingers to the china. Jongdae raised his eyebrows. "Why don't you take a day off from school tomorrow? It won't hurt... right?"

 

He could hear desperation in her voice, in the way it cracked before she'd dropped the last word. A mad chuckle erupted from his throat. "Stop joking. I'd hate to ruin my perfect attendance. And for _what_?" He gobbled the last piece, then patted his curled lips with a napkin.

 

"But you know what happened that nigh—"

 

"What are you saying? Nothing happened that night." He pushed himself away from the dining table, straightening up as he got up from his seat. Before setting off, he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. She froze at the touch. She seemed to stop breathing, and Jongdae left her with that.

 

As he set Moomin in the front basket of his bike, he couldn't help but feel giddy with excitement. No one was going to bother him today. Not for long. That annoying twit was finally eradicated from his life, and _boy_ was he happy about this.

 

Not all people shared his happiness, though. He noticed when he spotted Liyin through her glass window, curtains shielding half of her face, a frown perched on her lips. She was talking on the phone. Jongdae stopped and waved when he thought she could see him in her line of sight. The frown turned into a strained smile, though, and, when Jongdae pedaled on, he saw her closing the curtains completely.

 

The wall clock indicated that he was already running late. He was just one of the busy students thronging the entrance way. Careful not to bump into anybody, he slipped past them. The bike shed wasn’t that far from view. Maybe he could make it in five minutes.

 

"Jongdae!" someone called out to him. He saw that it  was Yixing.

 

Jongdae’s lips twitched. "Yeah? I'm surprised you're still here, Yixing. Everybody already went to their classes, right?"

 

"Everybody— Well, except for Chanyeol. I was about to ask if you've seen him but then I realized you just got here."

 

"What did you want from him?" His knuckles grew white as he clutched the handlebars tightly. "Surely, he's already paid you back the money he owed you."

 

"No, that's not it, _although_ I would still like my money back." Yixing scratched his head, and he waved a manila folder with the other hand. "We have to discuss his contribution to our research project."

 

Jongdae slung his book bag on his shoulder, locking up the bike when they reached the shed. "He hasn't called or texted me back, so I don't know. We have a big test coming up today, too. I spent all day yesterday studying."

 

Yixing patted Moomin with the manila folder, which made Jongdae raise his eyebrows. "That's nothing unusual. The weird thing is Chanyeol not answering _you_ , he's always hung off you," he sighed. "If he doesn't get here within ten minutes, I'm taking him out of the project."

 

"I owe him big time. He's angry with me. I think he'll just be a bit late." With a wave, Jongdae bid Yixing goodbye, leaving the other with a frown on his face.

 

»

 

Lunch came by and Chanyeol was still nowhere to be found. An agitated and screaming Baekhyun greeted Jongdae as soon as he had arrived at the hall.

 

"Jongdae, you fucking nitwit!"

 

It was not the greatest of times to come to the realization that Baekhyun had done some martial arts, as Baekhyun scurried towards Jongdae. He almost toppled Jongdae over but Jongdae fortunately dodged, and he stared at his friends with eyes widened, wary. "Where were you yesterday?!" Baekhyun exclaimed. "Chanyeol was looking all over for you! I swear to god, you made the man _cry,_ you heartless bast—!"

 

Tao clamped his mouth shut with his hand.  "Everyone's _staring_!" He gave both Jongdae and Baekhyun warning glare.

 

Jongdae looked around. True enough, everyone was watching them closely, some of them even furrowing their eyebrows. "Chanyeol cried?" he asked, then, trying his hardest to sound surprised. "I... didn't know it was that serious. I tried calling him, but—"

 

"—Oh sure!" Baekhyun had successfully pushed Tao off of him. "You didn't know. Of course. He went on and on about how both of you were expecting yesterday to be a big day. And now you suddenly don't know?" He snorted. "Bastard."

 

Tao ushered both of them to the table, already embarrassed by all the attention they'd been getting. Jongdae didn't appreciate Baekhyun screaming about his relationship, either, but he supposed he needed that. "It's unlike you to forget something, Jongdae," Tao crooned. _Great_ , Jongdae, thought, should _he_ be surprised Tao came to Baekhyun's aid?

 

Jongdae panted hard, holding his chest. Guilt was written all over his face. "I didn’t even realize... Shit." With his face buried in his hands, he told them, "I'd better go find him. Tell the teachers I'm not feeling really well."

 

"I'm coming with you," Luhan said almost immediately.

 

 _Lay the hell off_. "I'll do it myself. It's my fault anyway. I'll get Chanyeol back, okay?"

 

They all watched him slowly go, as did the rest of the student body. Today had been full of surprises indeed. Jongdae lagged a bit behind to hear more of their conversation, though.

 

"Wow," Tao commented. "And here I thought Chanyeol's love was unrequited."

 

Baekhyun stared daggers at his plate like it had done something to offend him. He spotted Jongdae still listening so he had to lower his voice down. "Shut up, Zitao. They love each other very much, alright? I just... wouldn't expect Jongdae to forget something like that. If he didn't love Chanyeol, he wouldn't dare skip his precious academic subjects."

 

"He's awfully protective of his awards for best attendance," Yixing explained to Luhan in a whisper. Jongdae smirked at this before leaving the hall.

  
  
  


»

  


The sound of the river always relaxed him, somehow, putting in him in a state of calm. He let the next breeze sway his perfectly manned hair and flip the pages of his Chemistry textbook. He _knew_ he shouldn't have jinxed the 'perfect attendance' thing.

 

But it would all seem suspicious if he hadn't go looking for Chanyeol. A handful of people—specifically Tao—had already placed their doubts whether he felt the same way with Chanyeol.

 

So there he was, at the same place where he had last seen Chanyeol. He wondered how long it would be for them to piece together that the guy was missing. Jongdae wanted the matter to be over with, grievance and all the phony stuff done. Maybe he should take this time to practice his crocodile tears.

 

At least he had given closure to Chanyeol's life close to home, Jongdae thought as he scanned his vast surroundings. How thoughtful.

 

He got up, putting both his textbook and Moomin inside his bag. Jongdae was certain that Mr. Park wasn't alone. He walked until he got to the front steps, and he took one last breath before knocking.

 

Jongdae had to admit that he had slipped—he actually thought he was crazy. Crazy enough to have the illusion that Park Chanyeol was back from the dead, and now standing before him with a disdained expression. After a second or so had he only realized to recognize the longer lashes among the other female features. The breath he'd been holding became a sigh, relieved that his plans hadn't been intruded.

 

"I'm sorry. It seemed I wasn't who you were expecting?" Jongdae observed, thinking back to the delight on her face that became disappointment.

 

"No, it's fine," the female said, no doubt Chanyeol's sister, Yura. "It's just— I thought— Nothing." She cleared her throat. "Who are you?"

 

Jongdae politely smiled. "It's free to assume that you're Chanyeol's sister, then. Yura, I take it? I'm Jongdae, his boyfriend. I'm looking for him." There was a desperate, hard edge to his voice.

 

"Oh." Her frown deepened. "Uh, you should come inside."

 

When he did, he let out the most relieved sigh. "Oh, he's here, then? I'm glad. I've been loo—"

 

"Jongdae!" a voice bellowed and footsteps thundered on the staircase to reveal Chanyeol's father. Jongdae might just be imagining things, but he could see the fresh lines of wrinkles etched on Mr. Park's forehead. "Is Chanyeol with you?!"

 

"No, I'm afraid not." He paused, gulping and clasping his hands together. Sweat trickled on his forehead. "I came here actually to see if he's in here. He hasn't attended any of his classes and hasn't been answering any of my calls."

 

"Oh lord." The woman who came to view looked a lot like Yura, except a lot older and shorter. She had to be Chanyeol’s mother; he couldn't be mistaken. Mrs. Park was clutching her chest, and Yura came to her side in a jiffy. "My baby boy..." she groaned, voice dropping to a whisper as she inched closer to him. "He's not in school, either?"

 

Confusion quickly transformed to worry for Jongdae. Everyone’s breath hitched as the atmosphere in the room got darker. They were all thinking the same thing. "Where could he be?"

 

A hand crept up at his shoulder and Jongdae flinched. Luckily, Yura didn't seem to notice. "Stay for a minute. I'll get you a cup of coffee," she said, then turned on her heel without another word. Would it be inappropriate if he pulled her back and told her that he didn't prefer coffee? That the taste disgusted him?

 

Once seated and served with a scalding mug of pitch black coffee, the worst, Jongdae told them everything he knew. Well, at least what he was _supposed_ to know. "I know I was a... how do you say, “dick” to him," he finished.

 

"You forgot?" Yura looked enraged, her own cup trembling at her hand.

 

"Now, now, Yura," came in Mr. Park, a soothing gentleness in his voice that made Jongdae proud of what he accomplished to show to Chanyeol's father. "I know this boy. All about his school and stuff. I'm surprised he even noticed our boy's missing."

 

"Shouldn't that be saying something?" Yura's eyes squinted.

 

"It means," Mr. Park gruffed. "That Jongdae cared about my son, enough to leave school for today and look for him."

 

Yura still looked skeptical, and Jongdae couldn't blame her. It had been a jerk move, to just leave Chanyeol hanging like that. But this wasn't it. They couldn't move forward with all this moping they were doing. "Have you checked the forest?" he asked.

 

"We did," answered Mr. Park, rubbing his stubble. "A lot of beer bottles out in the spot he's always hanging out in." Jongdae could tell that much. The bottles were nowhere to be found when he got there an hour earlier. "Was to be expected when I opened the fridge. And I was gonna whip him, but then I realized how upset he must have been to be drinking that much." Mr. Park gave Jongdae a pointed look.

 

His polite smile quivered. "I'm really sorry about all of this. It's all my fault. Do you have any idea where he's gone?"

 

Mrs. Park chose this time to wail and sob at her lost son, distracting her husband from answering. Yura patted her on the back, whispering in her ear. Oh, mother's love. He'd been there.

 

"That's the thing," said Mr. Park seconds later. "When Chanyeol drinks, he doesn't move. He just... lies on the ground like he just lost everything. Falling asleep and all that."

 

Falling asleep somewhere inhabited by a crazed caretaker and god knows how many animals? Jongdae didn't know that Chanyeol lived the dangerous life.

 

"I think!" Yura announced with something akin to authority in her voice. "We should go back to the forest. I don't know... I just have a bad feeling about it. The forest is big, he could be somewhere. Who knows? That loony caretaker might have him captive and we're just sitting here!"

 

"The forest caretaker won't do that, I'm sure," said Mr. Park. He sounded a bit unsure, though.

 

"I agree with her," Jongdae rushed, cocking his head in Yura's direction. He got up, then, and retrieved his coat from the racket, wearing it around his shoulders with ease. "I won't stop looking for Chanyeol, even if it means scouting the whole forest."

 

To add salt to their wound, the sun outside was unbearably hot, looking down at the pitiful human beings who didn't know what was coming for them. Jongdae let them tread before him, lagging his steps so he could observe the family from behind. He noted each and every mannerism they exhibited. Mrs. Park was still a crying mess, with Yura at her side torn between being irritated or determined. Mr. Park fingered his stubble more often, and Jongdae classified it as a nervous habit. He seemed almost as determined that he wouldn't find Chanyeol in here, though.

 

Yura held up her hand against her eyes, trying to block the harsh sunlight with it. "Are we there yet?" she whined. The wind was blowing now, and her plaid shirt fell a little bit to reveal a little bit of the milky white skin of her shoulders. She tugged it back. "We've been walking for—"

 

"Almost. Ten minutes, maybe," Jongdae uttered. From a corner of his eye, he could see Yura giving him a dirty look. He shot her a guilty one in response.  "He used to bring me there as well. Although not recently."

 

"He brought one bloke with him," said Mr. Park, interrupting. "It was Luhan, I think? Has some Chinese in him. Another genius, and I thought: what's with my boy befriending all the nerds?" He laughed with mirth, but stopped when he realized no one was joining him. "I'm just kidding."

 

"Luhan is a friend," Jongdae explained, managing not to throw up. He could hear it calling to him, the river. If he had been capable of love, perhaps that river was the rightful one to be its recipient.

 

Seconds turned into minutes and just as Jongdae began to curse at the sun, a shriek spilled from Mrs. Park's mouth.

 

Jongdae ran forward. "What happened?!"

 

Yura was struck with shock and fear, for the first time not coming to her mother's aid. Her eyes were focused on something on the ground. When Jongdae followed them, his own widened.

 

Crimson splatter was being emblazoned on the rock. Not only that — there was also a pool of red on the ground.

 

"J—just an animal." Mr. Park sounded unsure again. It was getting on Jongdae’s nerves.

 

Chanyeol's mom gave one final shriek before almost falling to the ground, thankfully saved by Mr. Park just in time. Jongdae covered his mouth with his hand, more to hide his smile from the rest than anything else. He could see Yura's vision darkening.

 

"N—no," she stuttered. "No... Chanyeollie..."

 

Jongdae pursed his lips as he watched the woman burst into tears. If anyone rational was here, they, too, would think that it was an animal before reacting violently. But of course, it would be stupid to _not_ get the hint that Chanyeol was somehow involved in this. The bottles were found here, after all.

 

Yura turned to her dad. "Didn't you see this when you got the bottles?!"  This one had a knack on blaming and accusing everybody on earth.

 

"No, it was— It was dark out—"

 

"I think I'll call the police," Jongdae said abruptly, looking troubled. He didn't wait for them to answer as he turned back, already dialing. A wicked smile formed on his face as he sobbed to the emergency operator.

 

»

 

"Here's your cup of coffee," Liyin said, setting the cup in front of Jongdae. Jongdae gave the offending cup a glare. Just how many times was he going to be offered the revolting liquid? 'Offered' wasn't even the right word for it; he didn't even get to refuse. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

 

"Terrible," he said, and it wasn't an outright lie. The coffee contributed to his bitter tone. "Police are all over the place. His family is devastated. It's all my fault."

 

"Don't say that." Liyin bent down to take a good look at his face. Or at least she tried to. The bump in her stomach getting in her way.

 

The reason Jongdae had given for being at her house and not at his was because he 'felt too guilty' and 'couldn't face his parents'. The truth was, he didn't have anyone to face. Everyone was at work. He had nowhere else to be.

 

"Did they identify it as his blood?" Liyin looked genuinely worried for Jongdae, like she thought he could get arrested any second from now.

 

"The forensics reported that it was, indeed, human blood. It also matched Chanyeol's blood type so..." He caught Liyin scrunching her features a little, looking apprehensive. "I heard it from the police. They questioned me, of course. It's just natural."

 

He recalled, all of a sudden, that time when the police had questioned his retelling of events, and he found himself reading the invincible script he had written and rehearsed for the second time that day.

 

"I don't know," he had said to the officer back then, when he was asked about Chanyeol's last whereabouts. The officer jotted it down with his ballpoint pen, stare unwavering. "I wasn't in touch with him at all yesterday. And the last I saw of him was on the 9th, Friday, at school with a couple of friends. We don't go home together, like other couples or whatever you think we do. He lives quite far from me and the school, you see. So, he always goes home first while I hang around at school a little longer."

 

They had let him go after some dosage of Jongdae's personal information. It had been hard, being scrutinized, what with the voice inside his bag telling him to not fuck up. _Fuck up and all of it will be over—_

 

There was no getting out now.

 

When he had last checked, Chanyeol's mom was still out. It must've hit her hard. Before any of them could throw him out — Yura, in particular — he bid them goodbye and went home to 'process everything'.

 

"He's not dead, Jongdae." Liyin said, voice soft and gentle,, which was unlike her usual demeanor.  Was it the pregnancy or Zhoumi's frequent absences that made Liyin this way? Jongdae was no blind man. He rarely saw her husband nowadays and, whenever he did, Zhoumi did not look the least bit happy. "And it's totally not your fault. You weren't there when— when that thing happened to him."

 

Jongdae chugged a long swig of coffee to prevent a guffaw that almost sputtered his mouth. This was an amusing conversation. "I still feel terrible," he coughed, wanting the taste to disappear. "I loved him, after all."

 

"You're using the past tense," Liyin noted, and she shook her head. "Don't look at these things negatively. If Chanyeol is indeed dead or injured, then I still stand by what I say. It's not your fault he got... what did you say he was...? Drunk off his ass and hurt himself," she finished.

 

 _How I would love it if you just stopped talking_ , he thought. Jongdae might need another cup after all.

 

"What about your friends?" she tried after a while. Jongdae was thankful for the change of topic. "Do they know about what happened?"

 

"I called them and they're coming over. I hope that's alright with you?" He made sure to use that tone of his that always got people agreeing with him or blindly saying ‘yes’ to his ‘requests’.

 

"Oh yeah, it's fine," Liyin waved her hands in the air. "Zhoumi won't be coming home from work 'til later on."

 

Jongdae nodded, not letting his curiosity get the best of him. He stood up to where her floral curtains hung, and he pulled them back, earning him a good view of his family's spacious yard. Just in time, a car revved around the corner of the street. The familiar red hood of Tao's Ferrari glistened under the sun. Jongdae was more than glad that no police were around to patrol the area. Tao driving that car would’ve raised questions and he had enough of those for today. Stupid kid.

 

Opening the door, Jongdae leaned against the doorframe, watching everyone slip from the car. Baekhyun was the first to hop out, and he ran in Jongdae's direction, wrapping his arms around Jongdae's waist in something akin to a tackle.

 

Jongdae managed not to shove his sobbing face away, though every second that passed felt like torture. He had a new cashmere sweater on, too.

 

"I'm so sorry I've been an asshole!" Baekhyun wailed.

 

"What are you talking about?" Jongdae's jaw stiffened. "I should be the one apologizing. You know this is my doing." Was he being punished for his sin and was damned to hell? Why else would he be subjected to the torture of having Baekhyun hug him, showing no signs of letting go?

 

He'd have to clean himself raw again tonight.

 

"You must be feeling real guilty, right? I know it's not your fault!" Baekhyun tried, and buried his face again in Jongdae's chest. It felt a bit awkward since they were both almost the same height.

 

All the others were silent as they got out of the car, watching them both. Tao pushed his hair back, and Jongdae just noticed him wearing sunglasses. They were probably hiding Tao's red—rimmed eyes. If there was something both Baekhyun and Tao had in common, it was their ability to become emotional so easily.

 

"You should have called us earlier!" Baekhyun cried out, bringing Jongdae's attention back to him.

 

"Hey now, Baekhyun." Jongdae gently pushed him away. "Didn't I insist on finding Chanyeol myself? And I have faith in him. He's not— He's not dead. Sorry for calling you guys a little late; police had me in chains."

 

They all looked at him, bewildered.

 

"Not literally," he muttered.

 

"Jongdae's saying sorry." Yixing's mouth hung agape. "Today is really weird."

 

Luhan inched forward, finally speaking up. He never had good things to say, though.. "You look like a grieving husband, Jongdae. Geez." Jongdae _had_ to resist rolling his eyes. Why was this guy always up in his ass? "Are you sure you're _really_ sad about Chanyeol's disappearance?"

 

Everyone turned to Luhan in shock. Baekhyun seethed at him, angrily spouting, "How dare you?! If you have nothing good to say then shut up and leave. Honestly, no one even likes you."

 

Yixing smirked all of a sudden. "I like him, though," he mumbled quietly, enough to save himself from Baekhyun's fury. Jongdae still caught it, though.

 

Luhan, to no one's surprise, was all chill about the matter and leaned against Tao's car. He looked like a supermodel, the type that Jongdae loathed "I'm just saying. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I know Jongdae is the stoic type and is never one to cry." The smile on his lips gave him away, though.

 

Why did he have to be so annoying? And _alive_?

 

Jongdae felt the tension hanging in the air grow heavier with each passing second. No one spoke up, and Jongdae took this time to decide what clothes he had to buy to replace these ones. But then out the door Liyin came, holding a new tray filled with cups and cookies.

 

"Care for some coffee, boys?"

 

Inside, everyone made themselves cozy with the help of Liyin's comfortable couches. The occasional death glare Baekhyun sent Luhan's way went unnoticed by Jongdae's all-too-innocent neighbor. Jongin said something about not liking coffee. _A man after my own heart_ , Jongdae thought.

 

By the time Jongdae had finished telling them what happened, Baekhyun was tearing up again. So was Tao, but he did a much better job at hiding it.

 

When Liyin saw Yixing's cup emptied, she went on to refill it, herself. "Ah, thank you, Jongdae's sister," Yixing gratefully told her.

 

Liyin chuckled despite the tension and sadness waving around the room. "I'm not his sister. In fact, I'm just his—"

 

"—friend," Jongdae cut her off.

 

"Yes, a friend..." Liyin looked at Jongdae weirdly, then turned to smile at Yixing. "I'm quite flattered you mistook me as his sister. I think I won't be as good—looking as him and his brother."

 

"So you have a brother?" Yixing asked Jongdae. "One more step to unraveling Jongdae. We did a good job, boys."

 

Jongdae pursed his lips just as thunder bolted from outside. Another storm incoming, but this wasn't as good as yesterday's. "If they don't find Chanyeol in seven days, I hate to say it but they'll conduct a search party all around the neighborhood," he began. "I'll sign up at the forest, since the blood was seen there. You all should, too. The forest is the most difficult one, even with the evidence. I've been there before. Luhan, too. Though Chanyeol hadn't let us explore more than that one spot, and the forest is big."

 

It was easy, faking all of it. He had no understanding and capacity to feel sad and empathize with others, so he had to copy and shape it into perfection. Just another line in his perfectly written script. His favorite line: "I need your strength." They all looked too dumbfounded to reply. Jongdae was proud of himself. "If we ever _do_ find him, I don't want to be alone. Can I trust you guys?"

 

By the end of it all, everyone left with a sense of determination Jongdae had imparted on them. He needed to get this over with, to have the body found and buried so he could find another one.

 

Luhan gave him a thumbs—up on his way out. To Jongdae, everything the guy did felt like he was being mocked. "I'll give you all the strength, Jongdae," Luhan replied, voice trailing off into laughter.

 

"Do you think you're funny?" Jongdae asked genuinely. "You're annoying." _If I had no sense of control at all, you'd be lying dead at this porch right now._

 

"How nice. Just days ago you said the same thing to Chanyeol."

 

Jongdae smiled. "I'd rather you were in his place right now."

 

This earned another laugh from Luhan and he almost made it to clapping Jongdae from the back, if the other hadn't dodged so quickly. "Keep your tears in check, Jongdae." And with that, he _finally_ left.

 

Jongdae nodded them goodbye before the Ferrari could take off. He saw the familiar outline of a book in Jongin's hands, his eyes squinting.

 

"Did you really have to give that book to him? I wasn't done with that one yet," Jongdae told Liyin, annoyed. He kept his irritation under control as he watched Liyin wash the dishes, an apron thrown around her neck.

 

"Hush, Jongdae. You sound like a jealous older brother right now. He was eyeing it, so I thought, why not? Plus, you have a lot of others to choose from." She turned towards him, giving him full view of the 'Mommy knows best' emblazoned on her apron. Jongdae forced himself to smile. "Plus, you reread the thing a hundred times already."

 

As she took the time to scrub the counter, Jongdae kept on watching her, mind going to and fro his clothing decisions again. "Besides, why not tell them you live across the street? Your mother would've been ecstatic to see them."

 

Jongdae wanted to fire back that _no_ , Liyin wouldn't know what his mother would've been. They were not close, not even by an inch. But it made no difference, as he was sure Liyin was right anyway. "They don't know anything about me." It was already a risk that he brought them to Liyin's anyway. Not at some coffee shop or other meeting place but here, right across the street of his own home.

 

All traces of happiness vanished from Liyin's face. The sponge lay still on the marbled surface. "Is that so? Then I made a mistake mentioning that you have a brother, then? Your family is famous, though. It's weird that they wouldn't know."

 

"My mom has fought hard to keep family business under the rocks. No one even knows I have a brother. It's quite sad.”

 

He could tell it was lost to her why he would keep things from his friends.That was the problem with Liyin. She was too trusting. He kept the bitterness at bay when he said, "It's okay, I've let that slide. I don't hold grudges." But he did. And he wasn't going to forget this one.

 

»

 

"Jongdae." That firm voice made Jongdae look up from his book, his glasses askew on his face when he had almost fell asleep reading on the couch. His father coughed, his finger laying still on a button of the remote. His father's hobby was channel surfing. "You might be... interested in this."

 

He fixed his glasses, focusing his eyes on the flat screen situated at their wall. The lights were out, so the TV well illuminated Jongdae's calculating gaze. It was the late news, something he never watched because he never really cared about it.

 

 _Ah,_ Chanyeol's female equivalent. It took a few seconds to recognize Yura with some makeup, reporting some of the crimes going on. It was the usual demonry humans were up to. Just thinking about it made Jongdae want to hurl. The human race was sickening.

 

"And...?" He looked to his side, cocking an eyebrow at his father. So what? He already knew what Yura looked like—

 

But then _his_ face came to view. He almost erupted in laughter. Out of all the pictures, they had to use something taken during Chanyeol's first year, pre—puberty days. Jongdae had to give it to Yura. The lady was a professional, sticking to the script as she narrated the events to the story, alerting everyone that the teenager had been missing for seven days now.

 

She informed everyone about the blood on the rocks and mud, and how everyone in the family and the missing person's boyfriend found the piece of evidence.

 

"The last time anyone had contact with Chanyeol was through a phone call to a friend at school. What followed was a series of missed calls that the police are still investigating on.

 

"The whole Park family—" Yura's voice trembled a bit. "—wishes everyone to include Park Chanyeol in their prayers."

 

A second later, his father turned the TV off.

 

Jongdae took off his glasses and stretched his back. He still wanted to laugh about the picture. "The search party's tomorrow. I'm going with my friends. You might want to come with," he suggested.

 

His father, who knew Jongdae all too well, was a bit hesitant. He could tell Mr. Kim was looking for an opening so he could figure out Jongdae's ulterior motive. "I'm gonna be busy tomorrow," Mr. Kim said, shaking his head.

 

"You sure? Some known cops will be there. This story is getting some coverage, for a reason I can only pinpoint to Yura being a famous reporter. No one cares enough about Chanyeol," he stated. "Now back to the cops. I talked to your old friend, Hyun Suk, the other day. He's chief inspector now. I forgot the name of the detective he hired on the case..."

 

It was to his pure joy that his father stiffened as Jongdae scooted closer to him, almost touching. "I'll see what I can do about it," said his father with a tone of finality.

 

Jongdae gave him a loving smile. "I'm going to bed now. Got a long day ahead tomorrow."

 

»

 

It was another one of those annoyingly sunny days, the kind Jongdae was torn between hating and loving. His reinforced character was supposed to be “sunny” and “bright”. Or at least, what _was_ his character. He had to act all gloomy as he approached the familiar road to Chanyeol's residence.

 

At least he didn't have to pretend to be happy about it. Who would be happy at this kind of weather? Jongdae threw his hood on and parked his bike amongst the dozen of cars plastered with Chanyeol's face. He reached for his bag and Moomin. "Maybe you should stay inside the bag," he whispered to it. "The sun sucks."

 

His friends were just outside the Parks' backyard, in between a couple of people whose faces were hovering over a map. They were all under the umbrella Yixing was holding, or at least two of them were. The others were merely trying to stick to him to get away from the heat.

 

"You look bad, Jongdae," Tao casually commented.

 

Normally, Jongdae would not forgive any slight about his face but he just had the perfect response. "Don't know if you've noticed but my boyfriend has been missing for a week now," he groaned. "I can't even concentrate on school thinking about it. My poor skin care." He clicked his tongue.

 

Before Tao could retort, Baekhyun waved his arms frantically. "I am so not dealing with this shit right now. It's hot so let's just do our job."

 

"C'mon," Yixing urged. "They're telling us to get in pairs. The one over there doesn't look too happy."

 

He was pointing to Inspector Hyun Suk, who was quite enjoying his time under the shade of a tall pine tree, though nobody could tell from his sour expression. Jongdae also recognized the man he was talking to, dressed in somewhat a lab coat, looking like the opposite of the fat inspector. His dad was being calm and collected.

 

Jongdae spotted Luhan approaching, a grin on his face. He felt _exactly_ like Baekhyun; he just wasn't up to this shit today.

 

He turned to his right immediately, looking at Jongin as he said, "Let's go, partner."

 

Jongin blinked. "Uh, okay?" The small smile that appeared on his plump lips didn't go unnoticed by Jongdae.

 

_Does he find my banter with Luhan amusing? Odd sense of humor._

 

Jongdae didn't spare Luhan another of his proud glances as he and Jongin moved on the trail. Maybe he should've just partnered with Yixing. The umbrella was a great advantage.

 

But now Luhan was paired off up with Yixing, looking smug and getting the umbrella treatment. The round was lost.

 

A police officer holding a list checked the sign up form and IDs of each pair. "You boys go over there," he said to Baekhyun and Tao, pointing to the left. He cussed out loud when a thick wad of reporters came in from the same direction. "Sorry about that. Just don't like that bunch. Anyway, you." He pointed at Jongdae and Jongin. "Go over there by the tall trees. Pretty sure there's a steep slope somewhere there, so be careful. And watch out for bear traps."

 

Jongdae and Jongin got to work, slipping on plastic gloves and surgical masks. Jongdae had the honor to witness first hand Jongin's fear of bugs, as his partner sprayed like crazy every five seconds.

 

They called out Chanyeol's name repeatedly. Which was a bit stupid, but maybe that was just Jongdae. Chanyeol was never going to answer back, he knew that. And he knew that that might just be the perfect time to progress in his script, dropping to his knees and letting out the ugliest sob he'd ever heard in his life.

 

Jongin widened his eyes. He looked so freaked out.

 

"Sorry," Jongdae managed to cry out between sobs. He knew that Eye-mo came in handy. "It's just— It's so hard! It's so hard dealing with all of this... I— I loved him."

 

His partner didn't say anything, looking uncomfortable as ever. And just then, Jongdae knew he'd picked the perfect partner. Jongin was socially inept; he wouldn't ask any questions. He would just accept that this was somehow normal human behavior and _go with things._

 

"Can I be alone for a minute?" Jongdae asked, helping himself when he noticed Jongin not budging an inch.

 

Jongin nodded, and Jongdae had never been so grateful that he was saved from doing anything stupid. When Jongin was out in the far distance, the constant sound of spray disappearing, he put a stopper to the pity party. He needed to be alone with his thoughts without being interrupted by that spray.

 

First of all, where was Chanyeol's body? If the police were lucky, it was still somewhere at the river, not the ocean just yet. Trash bags usually floated, so it would only be a matter of time before they found it. What was taking so long? Jongdae needed to get back to his academics, what with those preliminary exams coming up.

 

There were still traces of blood on the ground. It was messy, not exactly the most perfect and spotless of murders, but he had to make the police's job easier, somehow. He did all these on purpose. The sooner they got to the scene of the crime, the sooner he could get out of his and carry on with his life.

 

He could feel his bag fast getting heavy. Moomin was probably calling out to him, he was sure of it. Just as he was about to look into it, a shrill scream  through the silence. Birds flew away from the sound, trees rattling at their wake.

 

And then Jongdae ran.

 

What greeted him was the sight of Jongin hanging onto a tree branch for his dear life. And it didn't look like the branch was going to hold up much longer, either. Jongin's face scrunched up as the branch creaked even more.

 

"How stupid," Jongdae remarked as he observed his gloved hands. It probably wouldn't hurt. It was just going to be a brief touch, after all, nothing more than that. He reached out for Jongin, though, offering his hand without hesitation. "C'mon, take my hand."

 

"I... I slipped." _Yes, I already knew that. No need to prove to me how stupid you actually are,_ Jongdae was tempted to say, but he kept quiet and reached out his hand further. Jongin’s free hand couldn't reach for it, though. "I thought I saw something move down here. Are you... sure you want to do that?"

 

 _I don't even know why I'm doing this_. He reached out his hand further. "Look: do you want to die? Just say it. Don't worry about me." And for some unknown, stupid reason, Jongdae almost slipped, so he grabbed onto the nearest branch for safety.

 

With all his force, Jongdae leaned in, moving even closer, and this time their hands finally touched. He could feel a surge of electricity coursing through his veins. Jongin was warm, too warm, and it felt weird on his own skin.

 

He was disgusted. He wanted to _let go._

 

He could just let Jongin die; and, with him, Jongdae's secret. But what good would that do to him? If it was Luhan in Jongin's shoes, though, he'd gladly stomp on his hands in a heartbeat. _Huh_. So maybe he didn't choose the perfect partner, after all.

 

"Jongdaeeee!" It was the loudest he had heard Jongin cry out. The branch was almost giving away. At the height of the moment, he felt energy fill his limbs, and he pulled Jongin up hard enough that, soon, Jongin was back on his feet, balancing himself on solid ground.

 

They were both breathing hard after it, stumbling on the ground. Jongin looked up at him, guilt written all over his face. "I'm sorry. You... you're probably disgusted now."

 

"You're saying 'sorry' because I saved your life? A 'thank you' would've been better. I'm wearing gloves so I'm fine. Now, quit it before I regret what I did and push you back there.

 

Jongin smiled. _He probably thinks I'm joking_ , Jongdae mused. But it was a lie. It wasn't fine. He didn't feel okay. The plastic was too thin, the warmth already transferred. His poor poor hands. He should just bleach them.

 

He was still feeling the heat, and he wasn't talking about the sun. He hated it. He wanted to cut off his hands.

 

For a moment, Jongin looked like he had read all of Jongdae's thoughts and intentions. The smile dropped from his face and his eyes drooped low. He stood up, dusting off his behind. "Thank you for saving my life back there."

 

End a life, save another one. "I don't want to get blamed for your death."

 

When they had enough and called it a day, they went back to the site. They found a lot more people than they'd been expecting. Baekhyun was the first to hurry towards them as soon as they'd gotten back, almost toppling them over with a hug, if not for Jongdae's reflexes.

 

"Where were you? We heard the scream!" Tao said from behind Baekhyun, looking worried.

 

"It's—"

 

"—No big deal. Jongdae already saved my life," Jongin said nonchalantly. Jongdae saw regret in Jongin’s eyes after seeing Baekhyun's worry transform into fury.

 

"No big deal?! NO?! BIG?! DEAL?!" Baekhyun grabbed Jongin by the collar, giving the boy a lazy shake. Jongin pushed him off instinctively, looking confused as hell as Tao managed to keep Baekhyun from falling on his ass. "No big deal when we just lost another life!"

 

Jongdae's eyes widened. "What?"

 

Baekhyun's head snapped to Jongdae and his cold eyes softened. He looked like he was about to cry again. Jongdae, however, felt a small flutter in his chest. "They found him, Jongdae. He's... He's—" The next moment everyone knew what Baekhyun had for breakfast.

 

Tao helped Baekhyun up and made soothing motions at his back, the former constantly dry-heaving. Jongdae really felt like thanking god right now. Thank fucking God indeed.

 

»

 

He skidded to a halt and so did the yellow Audi behind him. Jongdae didn't want to be seen with them. He had tried to persuade them into not coming, but they said their reputation as his parents were at stake. If reputation was involved, Jongdae saw no reason for his brother to be included.

 

The said person haughtily pulled on the tie his mother had forced him to wear. Jongdeok groaned and unbuttoned the first one on his collar, complaining, "Why did you have to drag me into this?"

 

His mother smacked Jongdeok square on the chest with her thousand dollar handbag. "Put that back on and look presentable. Don't make me rue my decision." She turned left and right, checking to see if anyone saw the little commotion. "Jongdae—"

 

Jongdae ignored them wholeheartedly, fixing his own collar. It was stuffing him up, suffocating and strangling him. Not to mention his chin was becoming unbearably itchy. A lone zit whose sole purpose was to annoy him more than he was right now. Maybe he should really get back on that skin care. He couldn't wait to get out of this. The procession led up to the local cemetery, close to Jongdae's neighborhood. He went to join the throng of people slowly walking behind the raised coffin.

 

Jongdae scratched his chin again.

 

"Stop doing that," Tao angrily whispered. "You're only gonna make it worse."

 

Ignoring the advice, Jongdae scratched again in hopes that it would stop, and when he pulled back his finger had a drop of blood.

 

The slow torture of a walk finally stopped at the place where two gravediggers were busy shaping Chanyeol's final resting place into perfection. His wooden oak coffin suited him, Jongdae thought, it was close to home. And then a realization hit him — was it possible this was the work of Chanyeol's own father?

 

His thoughts went interrupted when someone near him sobbed out loud, and soon the others followed. The priest appeared, carrying a book and holy water. Jongdae droned out the priest, already bored.

 

The itch came again and he couldn't suppress the need to scratch.

 

"Dammit," he said. Loud enough to earn him a few stares.

 

"... resurrection to eternal life," the priest finally finished. A flick from his arm sent the contents of the holy water to the coffin. Jongdae bit his lip as the sobs around him only got louder.

 

Before he knew what was happening, he was being pushed forward, the touch unwelcomed. He couldn't protest as everyone was ushering towards the coffin which was being let down at the moment. Everyone was throwing flowers, some with their final messages.

 

Jongdae reached inside the pocket of his suit. The whole stem of forget-me-nots bloomed beautifully under the sunlight. What a waste. At least he caught himself before buying crocus flowers. It would be all too suspicious if anyone saw.

 

With the tears flowing, he gently sent the stem flying. It blended with all the other flowers Chanyeol's friends and family had thrown. The blue didn't stand out for it was quickly buried. Just like he said, it was indeed a waste.

 

He quietly dispersed from the crowd, removing his glasses to remove the faux tears. It was the last he was going to shed for this man. He was done.

 

"Jongdae, where are you going?" Mrs. Park caught him. She was wearing a lacy black dress, sunglasses on top of her head. "You rarely visited. I'm worried."

 

"Mrs. Park. I'm so glad to see you're doing okay." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his whole family looking out of place, yet they put up a good front of grieving. He turned his attention back to Chanyeol's mother. "I was just busy moping, sorry. If it's okay, can I leave first? Everything is just... too much for me."

 

Mrs. Park nodded in understanding. "It's okay. And Jongdae? I don't blame you. So please, don't blame yourself either."

 

Jongdae nodded. "Thank you."

 

Of course they'd understand. They did always find excuses for his behavior. Kim Jongdae, the perfect child with the clean and pristine reputation. It couldn't be his fault.

 

»

 

"Look," Jongdae sighed for the umpteenth time. He stared at the gray ceiling, getting sick of the lack of decorations in the room. The man encouraged him to continue with a look. "I already gave you my phone. You wouldn't see his calls because I had it turned off all day. I have no doubt that Chanyeol tried numerous times to call me, Detective."

 

The detective, who introduced himself as Lee DongHae, somewhat new to the office, remained unconvinced. After spending quite some time in the interrogation room, Jongdae found out that DongHae was a bitter single middle—aged man who had had it with teenagers his age. He was probably the type to approve of the death penalty. He also deemed it weird that Jongdae would spend all day 'studying'.

 

"Are you new to this town, detective?" Jongdae asked.

 

"I lived my whole life in this town. Spent a long time being a sergeant before getting moved to the homicide department." He tapped his pen, which he clicked incessantly, to the table. "I ask the questions. Is there anyone who can vouch for you? Since you got no proof that you have been studying all day."

 

If he wasn't new, then it was quite odd that he didn't know who Jongdae was. Though that could be excused for DongHae's hate for teens. "You talk as if I live alone. My mother was there with me all night."

 

"I only know your dad," DongHae grumbled. "Went to the same school as him. He was a senior while I was still wetting my underwear. Had big dreams and all. I'm happy to hear his business is booming. I idolized him — a little bit." And then he stopped, figuring he blabbed too much. His face contorted into dismay. For himself or for Jongdae, Jongdae didn't know.

 

"He can vouch for me, too. He went off work early that day."

 

So he waited while DongHae called his father on the phone. It was amusing to see the mesmerized look on DongHae's face as he talked with his dad. True, he knew his dad was famous back then at his days like him, but to be able to use it as an advantage... Jongdae had truly lucked out on the Wheel of Fortune.

 

"You're still not ruled out as a suspect," DongHae informed him when Jongdae was out the door. It was quite the long phone call. His dad hadn't disappointed him.

 

"You can call my mother too, if you like."

 

DongHae shook his head. "You and I both know that's not how that works."

 

Jongdae leaned against the doorframe, looking up again at the sad ceiling. "It's always the jealous overbearing boyfriend."

 

"So, why didn't you hire a lawyer?" DongHae asked. He was clicking his pen again repeatedly. Jongdae didn't like it. "This is a bit dangerous. What you're doing."

 

However, Jongdae just shook his head and closed the door, not gently. A headache was forming inside his head, one too many of what had been produced by his lack of sleep. He stopped when he saw Baekhyun on the hallways. His eyes were still sore from crying, it looked like. The police really didn't waste any time, seeing as how they pulled everyone as soon as the coffin was laid down.

 

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun asked dumbly. Silly silly Baekhyun.

 

"I will be." His leather shoes tap lightly against the concrete floor as he walked away, ready to get out of this place.

 

»

 

Jongdae crushed the Coca-Cola can with his fist and threw it across the living room, straight to the trash. It landed perfectly inside the bin with a thud. Just in time his dad finished another phone call, looking troubled.

 

"Well?"

 

"It's all going to be settled, son." His dad gave him one brief look before turning his attention to the TV. It was the same story, even with the same reporter. The difference was this time, he was dead.

 

"I never found TV interesting until now," Jongdae remarked. His father, being the man of few words he was, didn't answer. Just kind of grunted, to which gave Jongdae more time to talk. "Thank you, Dad."

 

Oh, he could only imagine Detective Lee's baby face features right now. They'd be in shock, and then turn into betrayal and fury. A low chuckle emanated from Jongdae.

 

He was still laughing when he picked up his ringing phone. "Jongdae?" Baekhyun didn't seem amused.

 

"Baekhyun? How'd it go?" Jongdae sounded concerned.

 

"I'm a suspect." Baekhyun made it sound like he was resigned to this fate. That his whole life led up to nothing but being Chanyeol's murder suspect. "I was the last one that had contact with Chanyeol. I'm—" A pause. Baekhyun was sniffing, and Jongdae could just picture the tears threatening to fall from Baekhyun's eyes. "I just. I can't take this, Jongdae. He was my best friend. You two were my best friends. And now we're all tangled up in this mess." He blew his nose.

 

"It's hard for me, too," Jongdae replied, leaning back on the cushion. "I deliberately caused all of this. What else did Detective Lee ask?"

 

"Just stuff about you two. Didn't even ask about me except for a couple of questions. He seems really interested in you." Baekhyun blew his nose again and sniffed. "I think he didn't like how private you were. He got mad when he said I didn't know where you live."

 

"You're not the only murder suspect," Jongdae provided.

 

"Still. It made me mad, y'know? I almost punched him, which right there would give me another offense. It's driving me crazy. How I was really the last one he talked to. I shouted at him, Jongdae. He was crying. I..." Few seconds passed before Baekhyun could talk again. Jongdae heard the static of television from the other line. "I'm still really mad at you. I can't help but be angry that yes, you somehow caused this. But it makes me a shit friend if I just said that out of the blue, yes?"

 

"It's okay to be mad at me."

 

"Why did this have to happen?" There was a mental image of Baekhyun shaking his head. "That boy had such a happy life laid out in front of him. He did nothing wrong. I'm so so sad."

 

The call ended with Baekhyun feeling upset more than ever and Jongdae ecstatic. With the help of his dad, the investigation had come to a close. That meant he could move on. Go and fetch another man.

 

If he were Chanyeol he'd be rolling in his grave in laughter.

 

But he wasn't. Chanyeol was dead. And Jongdae was having the last laugh.

 

»

 

Jongdae walked the hallways alone. He carried all his heavy textbooks with two hands and put them inside his locker, not waiting for help. Their table at lunch felt bare with one empty seat. When Mr. Choi accidentally called Chanyeol's name on roll call, everyone was bothered. Everyone but him.

 

It was a new feeling. Freedom. And something else he couldn't put a finger on.

 

»

 

He opened the mahogany door to the bookshop one lazy afternoon and the overwhelming smell of paper and crisp welcomed him. Junmyeon had let him take a paid vacation, out of pity maybe, for what happened. One week later he was back.

 

Truth be told he didn't even know why he worked at this particular place. It was nothing special, not even a known shop. Something drew him in. It wasn’t the money: he had plenty of that. Maybe it was Junmyeon, a motherly figure to replace something he never had in his childhood, with his gentle smile and brown eyes.

 

But Junmyeon was _boring_. He used to be the breadwinner of the family until the bookshop, kind and caring, and had good social skills and relationships. Nothing really stood out.

 

"I'm so, so sorry about what happened." He snapped out of his trance when his brunette coworker popped up from nowhere. Jongdae gave it a week. No, maybe a month before everyone stopped talking about Chanyeol and forgot about him. But for now, he'd endure it.

 

He'd put on a fake smile and an occasional sad face here and there. Just like how he always did it. Everything would be back the way it was soon.

 

Today, he decided to play the calm yet troubled person. A favorite. Less people would bother to talk to him. With his eyes downcast, he stated, "It's fine."

 

Krystal crossed her arms. "When you were gone almost all of our female customers lost interest. But it's understandable," she nodded, then continued. "I didn't even get to see him. He's handsome though! I mean, I saw that picture on the news. Not very flattering but I can guess that he has his good momen..." When she saw Jongdae giving her a stern gaze, she dropped her arms and looked down. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that, dammit."

 

"Yeah, he was handsome," Jongdae left it at that. But his terms of handsomeness were different from Krystal's, he was sure. The only time Chanyeol looked acceptable to him was when he was screaming in agony. A sight to behold.

 

Jongdae was somewhat disappointed that Kyungsoo wasn't on duty today. At least Kyungsoo wouldn't even bother to comfort him. That guy always minded his own business and problems.

 

"Jongdae!" Junmyeon came rushing out of the office, dressed up and hair styled. The old man almost crashed onto the non-fiction aisle, earning a reproachful look from Krystal. Junmyeon pretended he didn't see and focused on Jongdae. There was something eerily different about him today. "I'm sorry about what happened. When you called in to take a few days off work I knew something was wrong. And then... when I saw the news..."

 

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Jongdae held up his hand, refusing to meet his boss's eyes. "I'll handle it. Can we stop talking about him now?"

 

"Ah, of course." Junmyeon was flustered at this. "I apologize. I was just so worried about you."

 

Behind them, Krystal snorted. "Worried? That's the biggest understatement of the year. He won't shut up about you. Even Kyungsoo was getting tired of it so he took a day off today."

 

Junmyeon looked affronted. "K—Krystal! What are you doing? Get back to work!" Hmm... interesting. He sure missed a lot of development last week.

 

"There aren't even any customers!" Krystal held up her hands, but went behind the register anyway. She was giving Junmyeon a pointed look behind his back. There was clearly something going on.

 

Jongdae wasn't interested in any of his coworker antics so, instead, he went to do his job, and at first nothing was unusual. Two customers complained of missing price stamps, but that was it. It was a nice break from the pity looks he had been given back at school. At least here, Krystal was too busy ringing customers up to bother with him.

 

Time dragged on, and Jongdae was about to take his break when he just realized that it was his turn to do the cleaning duty today. Really, on his first day back at work? Begrudgingly, he scrubbed with a dirtied sponge the large glass windows overlooking the shoe store across the street. A figure in a plaid shirt tucked underneath blue jeans was looking back, not exactly at him but at the front door. He had his hands on his pockets, frown on his face.

 

"He's here again," commented someone beside him. Jongdae paused his cleaning to look at Junmyeon, who was looking at Sehun. "He seems to be waiting for someone."

 

With sarcasm dripping in his voice, Jongdae replied, "I wonder who." Then he paused again, a thought flitting his mind. "Did anything happen with Kyungsoo?"

 

"Nothing really. But that boy comes here everyday for the past week. Kyungsoo usually ignores him. I don't know what's up with that." Junmyeon glanced at Jongdae, a spark in his eye. Jongdae's eyes narrowed. "He's always working hard. And he was worried about you. We all were."

 

As though the sods racing down the window were more interesting, Jongdae's attention snapped to them, not replying to Junmyeon. God, he could never get out of this topic, could he? Did he really need to rub it in that Chanyeol was gone? Junmyeon's stare never wavered though; he could tell. "Thank you," Jongdae  said at last.  He scrubbed profusely, feeling uncomfortable.

 

And then came the lurch, and he almost stumbled forward by the intensity of it. It was strong, needed to be taken care of immediately. Jongdae excused himself to the bathroom, patting his stomach. Junmyeon must've thought he was having abdominal problems. Well, he wasn't far from it.

 

At the bathroom, Jongdae steadied himself in the sink, face leaning on the mirror. He closed his eyes, ignoring the little voice inside his head. Why was he getting that feeling again? Nothing remotely interesting happened to trigger this.

 

Except... except...

 

Jongdae opened his eyes, and with shaking hands, threaded his fingers across his cheek. The gaunt and hollow face looking back at him never looked more perfect than it did now.

 

"Ha...hahahaha..."

 

Out of nowhere, a chuckle came. It wasn't his own. It sounded borderline manic.

 

"Hahahahaha....a.." He breathed, fogging the glass and blurring a spot on his face, which he quickly erases with a closed fist. Nothing should be in the way of seeing his perfect face.

 

After all, Junmyeon liked it so much.

 

»

 

"What did you tell him that for?!" Angry voices made Jongdae halt in his tracks and stealthily lean in the wall to hide. It was Junmyeon's familiar voice, but it was a tone he had never heard him use. "Uncalled for."

 

"Geez, what are you getting so worked up about, old man?" Krystal. Her voice teetered, and Jongdae realized she was nervous, though hiding it with an apathetic front. Why was she nervous? It was just Junmyeon. "You saw the way he ignored it. It doesn't mean anything to him. _You_ don't mean anything to him."

 

Jongdae, out of curiosity, decided to get out of his shadows a bit and look at them. His mouth opened a little bit when he saw Junmyeon's right fist raised, but only for a second, for it was dropped the next. Shock registered all three of their faces.

 

"Oh my god..." Krystal was blinking back tears. "You were going to hit me. Me?!"

 

Junmyeon closed his eyes, a sigh coming out of his mouth. "Look. I just—"

 

Shaking his head, Jongdae came out of his little hiding place, a smile in place. "Anyone want some snacks? I got a couple of sandwiches my mom prepared. Oh..." His brows furrowed. "Did I interrupt something?"

 

They both stare at him, guiltily and out of breath.

 

»

 

"She's annoying, isn't she?"

 

"Sorry?" Junmyeon asked.

 

Jongdae checked the lock on the back door. Junmyeon was always paranoid that someone would bust in due to his messy and forgetful nature, so he always had Jongdae or Kyungsoo lock up instead. "Krystal," he pointed out. "She's a bit of work."

 

Junmyeon didn't know how to answer to that. He looked like he was torn between talking bad about her and wanting to keep his image as a good-natured boss. Usually, he'd reprimand Jongdae for starting such a conversation but Jongdae tried anyway. "I don't know," he finally said, perplexed. "It's normal for her age." And then he reverted back to his bossy voice. "And I don't appreciate you eavesdropping on conversations, Jongdae—"

 

"—I don't appreciate you undressing me with your eyes either," Jongdae snapped, his eyes going red. No good.

 

Junmyeon's jaw dropped.

 

They stayed staring at each other just like that for a minute, until Jongdae laughed and broke the silence. "...is what she would say if she caught someone as old as you staring at her, wouldn't she?" He clutched his stomach, slapping his knee. "You should've seen the look on your face."

 

"Yes... I suppose." Still, Junmyeon looked troubled. "30 isn't really old, you know."

 

"It is, for Krystal."

 

"And for you?"

 

He made a face to show that he was confused, not getting it. After letting his fist grip the key so hard his knuckles turn white, Jongdae dropped it on Junmyeon's hand. "Don't let her go."

 

And with that, he ventured out in the streets, the evening cold getting to him so he held Moomin close, as if the doll could protect him. The only warm thing was the thing inside his stomach.

 

»

 

"And… here's your protective head gear!" Luhan playfully laughed as he tossed it back and forth his hands before finally placing it on Jongdae's head, the latter unamused with the weight on his head. He took it off and shoved it at Luhan's chest.

 

"Thanks for being thoughtful, really," Jongdae drawled as he handed out the pepper sprays and one stun gun back one by one. "But I can take care of myself." He especially handed the stun gun discreetly to Tao.

 

Tao sadly pocketed the illegal object before anyone could see. "We're just really worried about you. You... you know what happened to it. I don't want you hacked to bits, Jongdae, no matter how much I hate you." His voice cracked. "I... I just... The murderer is still at large!"

 

 _Two of them suspected to be at this table_. "Don't cry, Tao," Yixing nudged him. As everyone was staring at their direction, he said loudly, "that drama made me cry as well!" It was a usual occurrence anyway, what with them being Chanyeol's friends. Especially Jongdae. He felt like he was on some watchlist.

 

Luhan snapped the head gear on himself, patting it. He looked like an idiot. "Why don't you carry a pocket knife with you instead of that doll you’re holding?" It was a genuine question, with no malice or slight, he could see. But that was so unlike Luhan. To be worried about him.

 

"Yeah, sure. Just bring that and have the guards confiscate it and taint my criminal record." Why did he even bother with a reply?

 

They all nodded thoughtfully, no doubt thinking of more ways to protect Jongdae. Jongdae watched them all with an amused smile, munching on his food. The sandwich was all soggy and the tomato cold as ice.

 

"Now tell me where you got that stun gun," Yixing prompted, and Tao went on and on about his dad's job at the international police force.

 

Luhan waved to a pair of girls goggling at him, even with his stupid head gear on. A piece of paper was in his hands, and Jongdae leaned forward a little bit to take a look at it. It was a notice to student council elections, something to not look forward to for the following months. Jongdae _loathed_ those kind of things. Authority was something he had never learned to get along well with.

 

"Interesting," said Luhan as he scanned the paper. Of course he'd find it interesting. Anything horrendous had oughta caught Luhan's attention. But then again, he found Jongdae interesting, so Jongdae felt like he should’ve held that thought. "Baekhyun, what do you think about this? You're perfect to—"

 

"—Mmm" Baekhyun played with his food, silent ever since that day and not looking up once. It was futile to try and to talk to him. He'd just give one word answers. Luhan grimaced, suddenly interested about Tao's dad.

 

Jongdae avoided staring at him too much, and instead he noticed Jongin blending in the background yet again. He would pay for that, to just blend in and not have anyone bother you. Jongin had a book on his hand. Still not the one Jongdae bought for him, he irritatingly observed. "Hey," he called.

 

Jongin looked up almost immediately. "Hey." Then he just went back to reading, not wanting to be disturbed.

 

No one noticed this little exchange. But that was okay because that was how Jongdae liked it.

 

»

 

"Moomin, what do you think about Jongin?"

 

Moomin stared listlessly back at him.

 

Jongdae scratched its head, putting it on his chest. "He's nobody," he said with a hard voice. "I don't care about him. But why did I let him form this connection with me?"

 

It didn't bother him quite as much like it used to. He had other important pressing matters to worry about, like the incessant pain inside his stomach, wanting to be unleashed. But he couldn't, not until he had a plan.

 

His mind, however, kept fleeting back to the irrelevant boy with dark hair and book in his hand. Somehow, it became natural for them to walk side by side, exchange conversation in their Lit class and... become closer. Jongdae didn't know what to feel of this development.

 

It became an itch. And just like how you should treat an itch, you should ignore it.

 

His phone beeped, alerting him of a new message. It had Jongin's name.

 

_Hi! ^.^ Can you message me on Facebook today's homework? I kinda dozed off sorry._

 

Jongdae raised an eyebrow. They weren't Facebook friends, though. So why... oh. That was interesting. Jongin was using this to become friends with him online. Or maybe he really just wanted that homework. It was true that he had slept in class. Jongdae had sneaked a look at him and there was he, head dropped in a book and eyes closed.

 

He looked so peaceful. Like a corpse.

 

Mouse hovering over the 'Add' button, Jongdae suddenly snapped his head to Moomin. "What did you say?" He sighed, looking out the window. The moon was shining brightly, about to be obstructed by thick clouds. He let go of the mouse. "You're right. I shouldn't get too close. He'll use my weakness to insinuate my downfall. We can't have that, Moomin."

 

Quickly, he types _Forgive me_ , _I wasn't paying attention. Maybe you could ask someone else._

 

The stealthy wind blew, making his curtains flap side to side. Jongdae turned his computer off and walked towards the window. Looking down on it, he saw two shadows at the front yard. Jongdeok's car was parked just to the side.

 

Jongdeok had his tongue down a girl's throat.

 

Jongdae felt anger surge inside him. The girl giggled when the kiss broke off, grabbing a fistful of his brother's shirt.

 

The curtains must've made a lot of noise, for Jongdeok conveniently snapped upwards and met Jongdae's eyes. He wasted no time and went out of his room, straight to the master's.

 

"What are you doing here, sweetie?" His mother opened the door dressed in a nightgown.

 

Jongdae's jaw hardened as he said, "You'll like what you'll see downstairs."

 

He'd give it time, the girl looked clueless but forceful so it'd be a bit of work for Jongdeok to get rid of her. His mother was like a hawk, though. She was fast. She'd catch him and then Jongdeok would be miserable all over again.

 

Back at his room, he was enjoying quite a peaceful time making conversation with Moomin when a shouting Jongdeok could be heard just outside his room. Jongdae closed his eyes for what was coming, hand at the knob already, when the angry knocks finally came.

 

Jongdae clasped on the knob and threw the door open. "What?"

 

"You motherfucker!" With the light in the hallway, he could now register the drunk redness on Jongdeok's face. He was fuming. "So it's okay for you to have that son of a bitch but not me?!" He laughed, mirthless. "Get real! You're a freak and you don't deserve anyone!"

 

His mother was behind Jongdeok, too scared to interfere and go in between them. What a family of cowards. "Yeah." He lifted his chin, eyes dark. "But I got rid of him, didn't I? So it's only right you get yours removed, too. All fair and square, brother."

 

Jongdeok's eyes widened but Jongdae doesn't give him a chance to reply, as he slammed the door on his face. You shouldn't be so ruthless, was what his mother would say. But if anything, it was her fault for everything happening right now.

 

Jongdeok lived in misery after _that_ incident. But if Jongdeok started pointing fingers, only his mother deserved it.

 

He was right for one thing, though. Jongdae was selfish. A selfish freak. But it was okay, because no one deserved to be happy.

 

»

 

"Why am I not surprised to find you here?" Jongdae internally groaned. Here was Luhan, standing in front of him, looking smart and annoying at the same time. For once, he wanted to be alone on his break. This particular hiding place was at the back of the school, often passed by and overlooked.

 

"Why are you even here at this... dingy place?" Luhan scrunched up his nose, but sat beside him.

 

"You know, to escape from the likes of you, the usual stuff,"  Jongdae shrugged. "Doesn't matter now. You've found me." He got up to leave, already slinging back his bag.

 

"Look, I'm flattered that it goes to show how much you think about me, but can you sit down?" Luhan grinned. A couple of passers—by were shrieking with laughter at the background.

 

"And why would I do that?" His attempt to keep the teeth gritting to a minimum wasn’t working. This guy just riled him up so much. He knew Luhan was just trouble since the very first day he had laid eyes on him. Luhan, who always found things amusing and interesting, wouldn’t take long for him to pick things up and make it harder for Jongdae if he wasn't careful.   Especially for someone as smart as him.

 

Luhan ignored the question and eyed the book on Jongdae's hand. The one he was intently reading before he was disturbed by an unwanted presence. "Hey, I think I saw that book. That's Jongin's, isn't it?"

 

As an answer, Jongdae smacked the said book on Luhan's head. Luhan groaned and massaged his injury, pouting. "What was that for? I swear I saw Jongin carrying the same book."

 

"None of your business." Hmm, did that mean Jongin was actually reading it? "Now leave me alone. I think there were rumored ghosts here and they especially hate people like you. I know, they told me."

 

"Ah, Kim Jongdae the ghost messenger." Luhan laughed. Did this guy laugh at everything? And god, did he look ugly doing it. "Whose ghosts are you talking to? Chanyeol's?"

 

"I don't find your sense of humor amusing." Jongdae rolled his eyes and turned his back to leave.

 

"So where are you hiding it?" Luhan's voice made him stop in his tracks, the leather conjuring a cloud of dust.

 

"What?"

 

"Y'know, the murder weapon?" Luhan raised an eyebrow, as though Jongdae would’ve known what exactly it was.

 

He gave an unappreciative stare. "Give me one good reason this book shouldn't be shoved up in that ass."

 

Luhan raised his hands in alarm. "Chill, I was just kidding. Y'know they never found that murder weapon. But everyone knows it's the Park's family axe."

 

Ah. "Mr. Park found it missing."

 

"That's right. I suppose you'd know, Mr. Suspect."

 

Jongdae's eyes squinted. His heart thumped. "How'd _you_ know?"

 

Luhan leaned back the wall, eyes glinting in the dark at Jongdae. "Some of the police guys told me. Connections and all that."

 

Just another reason to not trust the police. How Jongdae hated those people. A prickle went under his skin, memories flooding back. Jongdae suppressed them. "Stay out of it," he warned, ominous. Come to think of it, that wasn't a smart move on his part. Telling Luhan stay out of it was just a guarantee to have him exactly not staying out of it.

 

"And why would I do that?" Luhan did a perfect imitation of Jongdae's voice, even with the same unimpressed tone. "I told you I love a good ol' mystery."

 

Jongdae's eyes flashed. "Or maybe you have it solved already, you know-it-all."

 

"Pot kettle black—"

 

"—What are you guys doing here?!" Yixing suddenly popped up. To add salt to the wound, not only did Luhan find his hiding place but now also Yixing, who was looking over the both of them questioningly. Guess he had to abandon this place after all.

 

"Jongdae, I've been looking all over for you!" He breathed raggedly. "They're... they're..."

 

"Breathe, Xing," said Luhan.

 

Yixing gulped. "They're holding a mass in the gymnasium to commemorate Chanyeol. You're expected to be there, Jongdae."

 

"I wasn't informed." Jongdae adjusted his glasses, thankful to Yixing for the disruption. "Well. Shall we get going then?"

 

"You go on ahead." Yixing nodded. "I have to talk to Luhan about something."

 

Jongdae shrugged, stepping out of his little spot. The sun shined down on him, and he prevented the glare with the book in his hand. He didn't spare the other two a glance as he walked to the gymnasium.

 

The bleachers were absolutely full. Did half of these people even know who Chanyeol was? Crowded students were everywhere, their eyes following him as he skidded past someone on his way to his friends' spot. The three of them looked really uncomfortable, most of the attention drawn on them.

 

He did not find an available seat, eyeing the girl beside Jongin and the loud pair of boys beside Baekhyun exchanging notes. Baekhyun looked over him, uninterested, then went back to glancing at the acolytes preparing for the mass. Tao however, sensed his dilemma. "Jongin, scoot," he commanded. Before Jongin could protest, Tao grabbed both of his shoulders to make room for Jongdae.

 

Jongdae's eyes were rooted to that tiny little space. That was barely any room. He felt his whole body went rigid at the thought of having to squish himself inside that space.

 

"Jongdae, what's the problem?" A hint of irritation in Tao's voice. "Everyone's staring at you. Just sit down. Just where are Yixing and Luhan anyway?"

 

"I think I'll just stand over there."

 

"Are you crazy?!" Tao angrily whispers. "You don't want to be the center of attraction like that."

 

"I already am the center of attraction," he said a matter-of-factly.

 

Tao looked over him with a deadpan stare, unimpressed. There was absolutely no way that Jongdae was going to sit there. A teacher two rows below were ushering students to sit down and keep quiet for the mass was about to start.

 

"You don't have to sit," said Jongin, speaking up. "Take mine."

 

"What? Why?" Tao asked, confused.

 

"No, sit down," Jongdae ordered.

 

"But you'll—"

 

"Sit. Down." The words were said with much force now. "They'd think it's weird. Just sit down and be quiet like you always are, Jongin."

 

Tao glanced back and forth between them, somewhat bemused when Jongin sat back down, defeated, dark hair falling gracefully in his eyes. He looked like a kid who got denied candy. Jongdae surprised him, though, when he sat down beside him. The girl now beside him gave a little gasp.

 

Jongdae momentarily closed his eyes. This was okay. Sure, the agitating warmth was there and he wanted nothing but to jump out instead. Still, he should've worn that expensive coat his grandmother had gotten for him last Christmas today. It looked tacky and too colorful, but he'd gladly wrap it around himself right now.

 

The choir started singing and they were made to stand up. The priest was walking down the aisle, and Jongdae couldn't suppress a shudder coming out of him. Why did everything had to be so warm to someone as cold as him?

 

"Are you okay?" Jongin mumbled in his ear. Jongdae leaned back.

 

"What does it look like?" He crossed his arms and hugged himself. He was short of breath. He couldn't breathe at all. Was he going to get a panic attack soon? Everyone would probably excuse it as trauma for Chanyeol's death. That was a good one.

 

"I have to go to the restroom," Jongin announced, grabbing his bag in a hurry. Jongdae opened his eyes. "I'm gonna take one huge shit." He even scrunched his face up. The girl beside Jongdae clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

 

Tao gasped. "Jongin! The mass just started!" A couple of people around them focused their attention on him instead. Tao pleaded with his eyes.

 

"Sorry," said Jongin, not sounding sorry at all. He waved. "If I die, blame it on the cafeteria lady who served today's mystery meatloaf." And with that, he skipped past everyone in the row and sneaked behind the teacher guarding the door.

 

Jongdae scooted, sighing in relief. Space. Seeing Tao's astonished face though, he couldn't help but chuckle. He knew it wasn't right. This was a mass after all. A mass concerning a dead student. Jongdae was supposed to be sad.

 

"That guy... has no decency," said Tao, shaking his head disbelievingly.

 

It had come to the point where in Jongdae had to put a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing any further. With that came a sheer realization that Yixing and Luhan weren't at the ceremony at all. That stopped him from laughing.

 

»

 

He was still pondering about it all the way to work, pausing in between restocking just to gather his thoughts. He had gone on an early shift for two reasons. For one, everyone had been dismissed after the mass. The other reason was...

 

"You didn't tell me you worked in this bookstore," Jongin said, not looking up from the book he'd been browsing. Krystal had eyed him appreciatively as soon as the bells clinged, but Jongin had been wondered by all the books instead. "Yixing was always talking about this place, but he never mentioned you."

 

"You never asked. In fact you don't ask anything about me."

 

Jongin flushed. A weird sight.

 

Jongdae left him to assist another customer.  They  had no idea where the fiction aisle was, even though it was written in bold white letters on a red background at the top of the said aisle. He then considered suggesting to Junmyeon to print out a FAQ at the front of the shop, because it was tiring getting asked the same dumb questions.

 

When he got back, Jongin had an answer for him. "You're very private about your life." He said this slowly and quietly, as if he had memorized the line over a thousand times in his head. "I don't wanna pry."

 

Jongdae nodded. Fair enough. "Thank you anyway. For the thing earlier. I'm gonna go think you did that for me and not because you had sudden diarrhea."

 

Jongin hummed, picking up another book. It was from the same Japanese author of _their_ book, Jongdae had noticed. Their book? Since when did he refer to it that way? Why was he so intent on getting rid of this 'connection' when he himself—nevermind. He should drop it.

 

There was stillness. As if time stopped voluntarily as Jongdae and Jongin's eyes met.

 

"Do you like me?" Jongdae asked, dreading the answer about to come out of the other's mouth.

 

Jongin dropped the book, the soft thud loud on Jongdae's ears. His eyes narrowed as Jongin bent to pick the book. "You're not very likeable, Jongdae," Jongin sighed, a slow smile spreading on his face to let Jongdae know that he shouldn't take offense. "I can tell you that."

 

And Jongdae was glad. That was the answer he wanted. Because then Jongin had no interest in him, right? He wouldn't use Jongdae for his own means. He probably wanted nothing to do with Jongdae. And he was so glad. Was it because he didn't want to kill Jongin or something else? Nonetheless, the murderous feeling inside his stomach subsided.

 

"Sorry if I... gave the wrong impression?" Jongin prompted.

 

"No, you've made things very clear now." Jongdae's lips twirled into a smile. He noticed Jongin was standing frozen still, the fingers that were turning a page trembling. Should Jongdae tell him that book was upside down, too?

 

"Jongdae," Krystal called from behind the register. "If you could just leave your friend for a minute or two..." She said the word 'friend' like it was of importance. "Can you take over? I have some urgent things to discuss with the boss." Her face twisted into disgust, perhaps thinking back to that incident the other day.

 

"Be right there." He turned to Jongin. "That's my cue. Are you buying that?"

 

Jongin stared at the book longingly, then carefully put it back the shelf. "Nah. I still have to finish something."

 

"But of course."

 

His feet turning around, Jongin was about to leave but stopped, searching Jongdae's face. "It's kind of weird... that I'm the only one who got a failing grade on that homework."

 

"I told you to ask someone else."

 

Jongin gave up and left. And Jongdae wondered. Just what kind of evil Jongin had inside of him. Every human had something dark they were hiding, right? They were all disgusting just like that. But why did Jongin appear to have none?

 

»

 

"What's wrong, Krystal?" Jongdae gently closed the blinds, his back on the obviously troubled girl. Krystal was muttering all day long after that 'urgent talk with the boss', gritting her irritation every now and then. Jongdae had caught a few swear words mixed with different alternations to Junmyeon's name. Krystal's tantrums weren't pretty.

 

Krystal dropped the box containing some heavyweight books, kicking it afterwards. "It's that guy." She kicked the box again, no doubt imagining it was Junmyeon. That poor box. "Aagh! I've been asking him for days now but he won't give me what I want!" She stretched her back and tried to lock the door. The keys fell down in the midst of it.

 

Jongdae picked them up like a real gentleman. "Good thing he's out."

 

"Thanks." She snatched it from his fingers, fumbling with it. "Can I be honest here? I mean, I'm always honest but believe me when I say you're the real gentleman here. Not that guy. His image is bullshit."

 

Jongdae nodded encouragingly. "C'mon now. Tell me what's got you so riled up."

 

Krystal leans against the glass, crossing her arms and looking at Jongdae with dead eyes. "If you _must_ know." Oh, Jongdae must. "My boyfriend's been looking for a job. He has a lot of spare of time and not a lot of money. And we want to hang out more often so..." she shrugged. "Anyway, that old fart wouldn't allow it. He says my boyfriend is  'too messy' and 'probably won't be good for business'. What bullshit!" She huffed in indignation. "Just because my boyfriend got kicked out of high school 3 times... ‘messy’?! How dare he?!"

 

"How dare he indeed..." Jongdae mumbled, waiting for her continue.

 

"So then I told him how hypocritical that was. For one, Junmyeon himself got disowned by his family for running this shop and two, messy? He can't even find his clothes under the pile of trash in his office! You should really see it, Jongdae. It's nasty.”

 

"I don't think he meant it that way, Krystal," Jongdae provided. How old was Krystal again?

 

"Oh shut up. He shouldn't judge anyone. Besides, it's just a bookshop." Krystal threw her arms around to emphasize. "My boyfriend... wouldn't... steal... books or anything..." she trailed on. "He hated them back when he was in school!"

 

Well, this had been an amusing conversation. "Do you want me to talk to the boss for you?" He winked at her.

 

"Really?" Krystal's expression reverted back to a happy little teenage girl. She was practically jumping up and down. "I'm sure you'll be able to convince him then! I mean he's..."

 

"He's...?" Jongdae prodded.

 

"Nothing nothing. Do your best, Jongdae!" She blew him a kiss. Krystal ran across the shop and grabbed a backpack from under the counter. "I need to get going now. It's a bit late and my boyfriend's motorcycle got reported as stolen to the police, so he can't pick me up."

 

"How unfortunate. Don't worry, I'll make sure he gets the job." Jongdae smiled at her as she left, hopping from one foot to another. That went off better than expected. You never knew with Krystal's 5 year old tantrums.

 

Jongdae was about to leave himself when a voice rang from behind. "You shouldn't get the girl's hopes up. I won't hire the guy." Jongdae didn't have to turn around to know that his boss was crossing his pale arms over his chest.

 

"And she was right about you being a hypocrite. Why are you eavesdropping, Boss?" Playing with fire with his job on the line. Just far was he going to go?

 

Junmyeon then put his hands on his hips, eyes narrowing. He could tell he was contemplating whether to discipline him for saying such words or not. "You should get ready tomorrow. Winds of Winter is finally arriving. We only got a thousand copies, though. Prepare yourself."

 

Ah, he recalled the delivery guys and their truck a few hours ago. "After how many years?"

 

"It has been quite a lot. So I'm warning you there might be a riot."

 

"So," Jongdae reverted the convo back to the former subject. "What's so bad about the guy? I mean, what else aside from the things you heard?"

 

"Everything. Jesus, he's a wreck." Well, that was easy. Junmyeon fished something out of the nearest bin, a paper which he smoothed out. "This was his application form. A lot of nerve, that guy. Some children really need to be disciplined."

 

"That kind of talk is the sole reason why those 'children' go astray."

 

Junmyeon clicked his tongue. "What are you saying?"

 

Jongdae just shook his head. Adults like Junmyeon were unbearable. The patronizing ones. It made his relationship with authority even more worse than what it was. And just like him, they didn't understand what was wrong with it.

 

When he realized Jongdae wasn't going to reply, Junmyeon stated, "Anyway, I'm not trusting Krystal with that. Especially with a murderer at large." That was when he remembered that it was Jongdae who he was talking to.

 

"Spare me," Jongdae told him before he could say a word. "But you should give the guy a chance. It's kind of unfair. Treat him like another guy, not a child. If he really wants a job then I think he'll make an effort, at least."

 

While Junmyeon was thinking about his options, Jongdae threw in the little charm everyone liked, and caught his boss off.

 

"I'll consider it," Junmyeon coughed.

 

»

 

"I'm Zico." Jongdae tried to look at anywhere but at the outstretched hand laden with five different kind of rings and a snake tattoo that went up to his forearm. "Jongdae, right? Krystal told me a lot about you. Particularly that you're the one I should be thanking." Jongdae was surprised this guy even knew what 'particular' meant. He had gold teeth, jesus.

 

But this was no time for being judgmental. Jongdae let the corner of his lips curl up in return. When he saw that Jongdae wasn't going to shake his hand anytime soon, Zico passed it off as him scratching his head.

 

Krystal, who was carefully watching the conversation unfold, saved it from getting anymore awkward. She buried Zico's arm on her chest. "C'mon, babe. We're going to open soon and there'll be a lot of customers." Krystal nodded towards the people outside the shop, some even with tents set up. She shoved a box full of books at Zico.

 

"Wait," Jongdae stopped them. He nodded at the unopened box, feeling a bit irritated. He didn't make Junmyeon hire this guy to steal his job. "I'm supposed to do that."

 

Krystal waved him off. "Let Zico take care of it. Junmyeon needs to see him being responsible. Kyungsoo needs some help at the back room, though." She stared at Jongdae with pleading eyes, like a kidnapped girl held for ransom. "Please?"

 

Resisting to roll his eyes, he moved towards the back room and as soon as he opened the door, saw Kyungsoo cutting open the boxes with a boxcutter they got from Home Depot. Kyungsoo looked up and visibly relaxed. "Oh it's you."

 

"I'm surprised Krystal actually did you the favor. She doesn't take orders just from anyone."

 

"She owes me one." Kyungsoo handed Jongdae the boxcutter. "I won't have that guy working in the same room as me." Was that a shudder from Kyungsoo or was Jongdae imagining things?

 

"That's rude. You haven't even talked to the guy yet." Jongdae's eyes were focused on the boxcutter, scanning it closely.

 

"I smelled him. That was enough judgment." With his nose scrunched up, Kyungsoo bent back down to get another box opener. A shrill ring resounded throughout the room, with Kyungsoo's back pocket lighting up. Kyungsoo, however, ignored it and kept on searching.

 

"Use this. I'll take this to the front first." Jongdae carried both already unopened boxes and went back to the front of the store. Just in time, he heard a loud crash from coming from the fiction section. He hurried towards it.

 

"What are you doing?" he asked, perplexed at the sight.

 

Zico hastily stacked the fallen books back in the shelf. Not even in the right order and some of the books were upside down. But Zico was too busy reshelving the remaining twenty books on the floor to notice. "Oh hey Jongdae." He wiped the nonexistent sweat on his forehead with his tattooed arm. "Think you can do the job from here? I need a smoke."

 

Jongdae ignored Zico's request and plopped down the two boxes, ticking off a list that was in his pocket. "Oh, what do you know? I think Junmyeon's just on his way to check how everyone's been doing. Go do your thing. I got it from here. I need a raise anyway." He shrugged.

 

 _Now_ Zico was sweating. "On second thought..."

 

"Uh huh." Turning back, he did actually pass by Junmyeon. Though his boss was looking happy, holding up streamers and a tarpaulin on his hands. "Today's the big day. After your done can you help me put these up? We're opening soon."

 

When he went back to the room, the darkness couldn't prevent him from seeing Kyungsoo pocketing his phone. Secrets. How lovely. Kyungsoo had an apprehensive expression. "A girlfriend?" Jongdae tried.

 

Kyungsoo shrugged. "Something like that. No one important, really."

 

»

 

Jongdae made it a point to go over the convenience store that night, just for simple observation and research, obviously. Sehun's usually emotionally—incapable face betrayed his emotions, because he looked more pissed than anything.

 

"Sehun," Jongdae muttered to himself. "No one important, huh."

 

A few minutes later, their other cashier, some girl with short blue hair came out of the sliding glass doors, out of her uniform. She was chewing some gum, texting in her phone. Jongdae hooted, and to no one's surprise, she approached him with a sly smile.

 

"Seen you around," she stated. "What's your name?"

 

All the more better. "Junmyeon."

 

The girl snorted, paused chewing for a few seconds. "That's a funny name."

 

Jongdae grinned lazily, pushing his hair back, earning him an appreciative once-over. "And what about yours?"

 

"Luna. I'm surprised you don't know me. I'm quite known around here." She lifted her chin. There was a choker around her neck, words carved Jongdae didn't bother to read.

 

"Haha, me too." Jongdae's eyes twinkled behind his spectacles. "So, what time do you close?" He nodded at the store.

 

Luna beamed, probably thinking Jongdae was going to ask her out. She batted her eyelashes at him. "Around 10. I could leave earlier than that. If you want to." Her voice has dropped low. Her phone rang, and she looked at it with dismay. "Wait a min." Luna turned around and walked a few meters away from him.

 

Of course, if Luna turned back around Jongdae would be long gone.

 

»

 

"No way." There was a sharp intake of breath. Liyin was barely audible as her eyes lit up at the object in Jongdae's hands. Truthfully, Jongdae was getting tired holding it out like that. It was heavy after all. "You didn't have to!"

 

"Take it. It's a token of gratitude. Somewhat." No, it wasn't. It was just a little expenditure on his part, with Junmyeon giving them their monthly allowance just after that crazy day at the store.

 

Liyin squealed, or chuckled, something in between and accepted the copy of The Winds of Winter First Edition. Liyin glided her hand on the hardcover, eyes taking in all the details. With obvious delight she moved to hug Jongdae.

 

"Jaime dies," he said hastily.

 

That stopped Liyin from reaching out and her arms dropped, affronted. "No!"

 

Jongdae snorted. "Just kidding."

 

"I don't like your jokes!"

 

"I haven't read it yet. I was lucky to snag a copy, even. People are crazy for those books." A ten—year gap would certainly have people thirsting for another one so bad, they'd be willing to rip it out from other people's hands with their teeth. Something Jongdae witnessed firsthand.

 

Liyin skimmed through the doorstopper of a book, pausing in between when words caught her attention. When she closed it, she looked at Jongdae affectionately. Her next words were laced with sweetness. "You're a good kid."

 

He was everything _but_ a good kid. "You're not that much older than me."

 

Too late. Liyin was already walking down the memory lane, inviting Jongdae to go with her. She closed her eyes, reminiscing. "I remember when you were still little. The day we moved in. You were so closed off and distant when I first saw you."

 

Oh, he remembered it all too well. 2 years had gone by since the incident. 2 years of no one occupying the house across the street. Rumors started to float that the house was cursed. The deaths of the whole Lee family scared all the potential tenants. Or the lingering scary aura the murdered had left.

 

Either way, it had piqued Jongdae's interest when he saw the 'FOR SALE' sign getting discarded. More so when a moving van came to view, and a young couple emerged from a car. He watched it all from behind his curtains, because he wasn't allowed to leave his room back then.

 

"Then there was a knock. I was surprised when I opened the door. Rice cakes! And a cute boy holding a stuffed toy offering them to me. How could I pass up to offer?"

 

His throat was raw that day. He had screamed for his mother to let him out, urged her to let him out to greet the new neighbors. That he was a good boy and he'd be polite and everything. It was all just an excuse to see his new neighbors. Or maybe he just hasn't gone inside that house for 2 years.

 

His mom had been skeptical, but Jongdae had proven himself to be an obedient boy.

 

"I heard some news about your family," Liyin continued. "The richest one in the whole neighborhood! Right in front of me too! I was ecstatic to make friends with the neighbors. I was really happy when you approached my door, Jongdae."

 

Jongdae inclined his head to the right. "We're always the talk of the town." Whether it was a good thing or not, that was where the question lied.

 

"And with good reason. You were first on the honors' list at that time, yeah? Your mother couldn't stop talking about it at one of the neighborhood gatherings. I think that's how you were known. And your father's business in the pharma was booming. Hm," Liyin paused to look at Jongdae inquisitively. "I always wondered how you got there, though."

 

"Pardon?"

 

"Yeah. That day." Liyin crossed her legs and started unconsciously rubbing her belly, while furrowing her brows digging the memory. The bump was big now with its 7th or 8th month already. "I invited you in... and when I went back to the living room to serve you tea you were gone. To this day, I thought you just escaped because you didn't like tea. So I started serving you coffee instead."

 

Grumble. "That was the time I found your grandfather's collection, though." It was amazing. A place full of vintage books, dust piling up on the attic.

 

Liyin frowned. "Our attic's hard to find, you know. And you wouldn't even know we have one." She squinted her eyes suspiciously and leaned forward towards him. "Makes me wonder. You must have gone to the house before."

 

"You caught me." Jongdae smirked. "Considering I lived here all my life, it's only normal to familiarize yourself with the neighborhood—"

 

"—I got to admit," she cut him off. Jongdae's smirk fell off. Something was different in Liyin's voice. "You kinda... scared me back then. When I found you at the attic, I mean. Your eyes were..." She waved her hands in front of her eyes. "They were flashing? You were smiling _really_ creepily, too." Liyin laughed, slapping her thighs. "Come to think of it. That's stupid. You were just a 12 year old kid with a cow doll. Why should I be scared?"

 

Immediately Jongdae's mind reeled backwards to the scene. His curiosity was killing him, churning inside his stomach. Something just told him to go inside the attic. It had taken effort to go to the attic, having to tiptoe around a snoring Zhoumi in the master bedroom before making it off to the secret door just beside the bookcase. The door had revealed a staircase leading up to the attic.

 

Instead of the toys he and his friend had invested, there were mountful of books, neatly stacked and glistening under the sunlight. Jongdae had flipped through them and noted that they were old. Probably family heirloom.

 

The sad feeling about the toys dispersed when the doll talked to him. No, Moomin would be angry if he called it a mere doll. There was nothing here but emptiness. His friend was dead. He should just get back and talk to that young lady again.

 

But just then, there had been a faint whisper. Jongdae thought it was a trick of the wind, but it got close to him. "Jongdae..." it said, and Jongdae was suddenly frozen. "I've been waiting."

 

Jongdae sat as still as a statue, forcing himself to look at the source of the voice.

 

But it was just Moomin. His voice, however, had been cold just then.

 

"You're home," Jongdae cried to it. "You're home at last, Moomin."

 

Together, he had laugh with his companion. And then they made plans. On how they should 'play' with that guy at the bedroom by putting the pillow over him. Moomin would do all the work while Jongdae could just go watch. That's what it had last said just when Liyin found them.

 

"I kind of got the feeling you were hiding something." Liyin's voice interrupted his thoughts, and the same doll he was clutching suddenly felt a lot heavier. Oh. Zhoumi was supposed to be his first victim. "Like a troubled past... But then again that's another one of my ridiculous concoctions. Your family was perfect. Nothing could've tainted you."

 

Jongdae hugged Moomin. How wrong but right she was. He veered the conversation to another topic by saying, "I don't see your husband lately. He hasn't been far up my ass for coming here. Where is he?"

 

Jongdae caught Liyin's smile faltering for a second. The heavy book dropped onto her lap, forgotten. "He—he has overtime at work... you know! Ever since the promotion he's been going home late. I'm not going to complain, though. He's doing it for her." The baby. Of course. Liyin gently rubbed her tummy. It was just as big as Moomin now.

 

"How... thoughtful of him." Jongdae's eyes flickered to the creases on her forehead. Another memory passed by him. A doctor's prescription. Jongdae tried to grasp it but nothing came out. What was in that prescription and who was it for? "After all, it's your first baby after 6 years of trying."

 

»

 

Of course he didn't visit for the books. Not at all.

 

»

 

"Student council vice president Kim Jongdae?" Jongdae snorted, swatting the flyer away. It landed on a heap of grass just a few inches away from them. He glared daggers at it, wishing it would burn into ashes out of nowhere. "I've said it twice and I'll say it again. I won't run." It wasn't even _twice_. Numerous people had asked him many times to run in a position for their party because he was a guaranteed win. Did they even take into consideration that he'd be a lousy leader?

 

"Oh, you asshole." Baekhyun groaned and reached for the flyer, waving it yet again at his face just like he did 6 seconds ago. This whole elections thing had Baekhyun coming out of his sad shell and back to pestering Jongdae. "It has benefits! Mainly you guys get free food. And the squad appreciates free food. I heard their toffee popcorn tastes really good!"

 

Jongdae flicked the flyer. It flew away instantly. "I don't care." He leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes. "I don't need more work." He had to reread the whole chapter on his Chemistry book about bonds, memorize each line word for word tonight.

 

All this political stuff had him yawning. He was starting to rethink ever considering political science as his college major. But what about his big evil plans to infiltrate the enemy? It'd be cool if he won as president, and have a lot of people killed in just a single word. It would save him a lot time.

 

"But you won't be alone," said Baekhyun as if this was any appeasement. He dropped down and whispered, "Luhan's joining as public representative officer. A P.R.O! Honestly, I think his popularity is wasted at such a pity position. He should at least run for president against Bae Suzy. Everyone knows no one cares about P.R.O's. I just tick whatever box to vote when I arrive at P.R.O."

 

Jongdae stared at him as though he were a moron. "All the more reason not to join. Isn't it bad enough that he tags along with us? His sole purpose in life is to annoy everyone he meets."

 

As if the mention of his name could magically conjure his form, Luhan appeared right behind them, Armani suit over his polo and what looked like the newest shoes out on sale. "Hello there, my little friends."

 

Baekhyun got up to his feet immediately and pointed a Pilot pen at him. "That wasn't a diss about my height, was it?"

 

Jongdae opened one eye, then closed it back again, grumbling. "We're having a private conversation here," he shooed Luhan away.

 

Luhan seated himself in between them, blond hair blowing in the wind.  He stretched his feet forward, and leaned back in the tree trunk just like Jongdae. "Does this private conversation include joining the student council? Because if it is, then you don't mind me joining in, do you?"

 

"I'm Not Running." Jongdae made it a point to capitalize every word. Anything associated with running gave him uninvited memories. "Run and go do your popularity contest all you want. Leave me out of it."

 

"Oh? Then why is your name on the candidates list?"

 

Jongdae sat up straight. "What."

 

"What?!" Baekhyun repeated.

 

Luhan frowned as if this shouldn't be news. With his eyebrows raised, he told them, "Yeah, Jongdae's up against Kang Seulgi from the female soccer team." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Personally, I think you'll win. Seulgi's only popular with the females. The males either have the hots for her or hate her. She's got a bit of an attitude. You, however, have the entire school in your hands." He poked Jongdae with Baekhyun's Pilot pen, which he somehow had gotten his hands on. "You even won an online poll on who girls crush on the most."

 

Jongdae processed all of this information, not liking how Luhan had entered his name in just like that. Of course he was sure it was Luhan, who else could it be? He kept his anger at bay, wondering what tricks Luhan had up in his expensive sleeve.

 

Baekhyun looked interested, though. "Wait. Who's second?"

 

Luhan seemed satisfied with both of their reactions. He waggled his finger at Baekhyun. "Jongin, of course. I was a bit surprised myself. Girls want them mysterious quiet boys, it seems. The bad boy days are gone. So you could take it down a notch with the hair gel, Baek."

 

Baekhyun shrugged, though he looked a bit disappointed. He was always going on and on how he was a ladies' man, so this was kind of a rude awakening to him. "Can't believe people would notice Jongin," he muttered, kicking a pebble. "I mean, sure he's handsome and all—hey, wait a minute! Why aren't YOU second, at least?"

 

"Because I'm the one who posted that poll." Luhan looked quite proud doing so. Truthfully, Jongdae just wanted to give him a good kick. "I made it a point not to include myself so the others could have a chan—"

 

The words were cut off when Baekhyun straight up smacked him with his big Geometry textbook while Jongdae merely ignored them altogether. Luhan stumbled to the ground, giving Baekhyun time to kick him one more time.

 

"What's my position?" Baekhyun asked.

 

"I don't know. I didn't really see your name..."

 

Baekhyun harrumphed, book at the ready to give him another smack. "You conspired to not include my name in the choices, didn't you? I would've gotten in top 10, I'm sure!" What followed were a lot of obscenities and smacking heads.

 

When the bell rang, Baekhyun left in a huff, satisfied to his Geometry class. Leaving the two of them alone, again.

 

"He only had 2 votes," Luhan said, looking at Baekhyun's retreating back. "One was his mother and the other one was Tao. I didn't wanna break the news to him."

 

Jongdae made a show at looking at his wristwatch. "Gotta go to my next class."

 

"You don't have one 'til 2:30," said Luhan a matter-of-factly.

 

"You memorized my schedule. That's not creepy or anything."

 

"Oh, that's _nothing_."

 

He sighed, exasperated. A chilly breeze swept past them, yet blowing Luhan's hair again and making Jongdae hug his brown trenchcoat. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Jongdae broke the ice. "You shouldn't have done that."

 

Luhan grinned. "What?" Oh he knew perfectly well what he was talking about.

 

"I'll quit the first second they announce me as the winner." He was going to win, it was inevitable.

 

"Oh, that won't happen."

 

Jongdae raised an eyebrow questioningly.

 

»

 

"LUHAN IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?!" That was quite possibly the loudest Baekhyun had been ever in his life. Every student in the hallway looked at their direction, some pointing fingers and whispering amongst themselves. Jongdae was sure it wasn't just about them, but this whole stupid student council thing.

 

"He's not running," Yixing replied and all eyes turned to him. He pointed to the star besides Luhan's name on the candidates list, which had somehow changed overnight from under the 'P.R.O' to under the 'President'. What was Luhan cooking? "He's already the president. He's changed the policy, too."

 

"Policy?" asked Baekhyun, glaring at him.

 

"Yeah, he—"

 

He was cut off by the deafening sound of a door slamming open. Out came Kang Seulgi, Jongdae knew from the pictures, still in her dirtied soccer uniform. Her hair was tied in a messy ponytail, and in her hand, a filthy soccer ball. Kang Seulgi limped a little, he noticed. She stopped in her tracks when she saw them and her eyes landed on Jongdae. Giving him a deadly glare, she stormed off with the whole female soccer team behind her, each one giving the boys dirty looks.

 

"What. The fuck. Was that?" Tao asked, offended in every way possible, clutching his heart.

 

At the moment, Jongdae already knew the answer. He couldn't resist cursing.

 

"The policy... err..." Yixing scratched his head, suddenly aware of all the scrutinizing everyone was giving him. "...is that he now gets to choose his other cabinet members. It's a bit of last-minute, really." He looked over at Jongdae apologetically.

 

Jongdae took a breath. Did they conspire this together? "And I'm assuming you're...?"

 

"Ah, right. The p.r.o..."

 

Baekhyun was fuming, swearing Luhan's name under his breath while Tao didn't seem to see the problem and saw other pressing matters. "Okay, but those girls. _Those_ girls. What gave them the right? The track and field team gave them practice time the other week and they do this!"

 

Yixing put a hat on Tao's shoulder. "Taozi, you're not in the team anymore."

 

Tao visibly deflated. "Oh right. Yeah, yeah."

 

"Why didn't that bastard pick me?!" Baekhyun thundered, scowling at the little picture besides Luhan's name. He shook his head and turned to Jongdae. "Jongdae, appeal to him! Tell him I'm your bestfriend! That you won't go on without me. I'll make a sexy secretary."

 

Why were they so loud? He almost didn't hear Jongin pass by him from behind. But the familiar scent of Jongin's aftershave mixed with cologne informed him. "Looks like you're going to be the Kyoya to his Tamaki," the boy commented, offering him a smile even though Jongdae had no idea what he was talking about.

 

"Excuse me?" He was fairly certain it was a reference to something Japanese.

 

All of them were too distracted to notice Luhan appearing from behind the door. "Oh, there you are guys! Heard the good news?"

 

He was remotely surprised when all that met him were poisonous stares.

 

Jongdae popped his knuckles, Luhan's eyes widening as he stared at him doing it. He stepped forward and smiled at Luhan. "We should talk." Hushed whispers followed both of them. It was, after all, the first time Jongdae had willingly approached Luhan. But they didn't know that.

 

He followed Luhan to an empty room far off the left of the hallway. The music room.

 

"It's no use arguing with me," Luhan singsonged as Jongdae locked the door behind them, silence engulfing the whole room. "The principal already agreed with my terms. He was really happy to hear Mom would be funding the renovation of the old school building. Plus, he told me I'd make a good leader. Mom and the principal were really close buddies back in high school. Wonderful, isn't it?"

 

Jongdae wasn't paying attention, but instead was staring Luhan down, unblinking. Luhan fought back, and the staredown lasted for a minute. The room was tense, Luhan and Jongdae unsmiling as they glare daggers at each other.

 

The piano beside him was brand new, no doubt funded from other parents who knew how to bribe. Jongdae slammed his fingers down the keys, emitting an ominous sound. "And if I refuse?"

 

"I'd love to see that, Jongdae." There was amusement in the other's eyes, just like always. "What will your Mother say? I've been dying to meet her and introduce myself. I'm getting my parents to arrange a meeting."

 

Jongdae's stare hardened. "Stay away from my family."

 

"Her son backing down from a high position served in a silver platter right in front of him..." Luhan rubbed his pointy chin, chuckling. "I wonder what she'll say to that. I wonder what _everyone_ will say to that."

 

Okay, he got it already. Luhan wanted to play. Whatever. Not wanting to see his face anymore, Jongdae turned back around to leave, but not before smashing a guitar to pieces. The bits and pieces roll around the floor pathetically.

 

Luhan was shocked. "Do you know how much that costs?"

 

Jongdae gave him a look over his shoulder. "Mother'll pay it before I can even know."

 

"First meeting is at 5!" Luhan got it in just before Jongdae slammed the door on the way out. He was angry. Seething angry like never before. Which was unlike him. He was controlled. The epitome of calm and apathy.

 

»

 

"No way. You actually _agreed_?" Baekhyun had ushered him inside an empty bathroom, barricading the door with a metal pipe lying on the floor. Right now, he was giving Jongdae the stinky eye. "But you're Kim Jongdae. You don't let anyone rule you over just like that. If you can't be the president then you might as well not run."

 

"I didn't even run. I was forced to." Jongdae was annoyed at the turn of events, not looking at anything but his face. The anger had subsided just quickly as it had come. He was thankful, for he did not like doing anything out of anger and without any planning. "None of you even told me he has connections with the school authorities."

 

"Because none of us ever knew!" Baekhyun was panicking, pacing the bathroom left and right deep in thought. "I'm sure he'll be an evil president. He already pulled this, it'll be no surprise he has more tricks up his sleeve."

 

He rushes forward to Jongdae and trapped him to the sink, putting both of his hands beside him, searching at the other intently. Jongdae leaned backward, cornered. "You can put a stop to him. You'll be the reasonable vice president." Baekhyun smiled and patted him on the arm, as if he came up with the solution to world peace. "You'll do well. Let's go, I have class!"

 

Jongdae nodded. "You go on ahead. I have some business to take care off." He was already shaking. He felt so filthy.

 

Baekhyun dropped the metal pipe on his way out and looked at him with disgust, thinking about some _other_ business, then leaves. Jongdae locked the door and started taking off his shirt.

 

»

 

"What?"

 

Kang Seulgi looked furious, and there seemed to be an inner battle before she controlled it. Jongdae scowled, not liking how his path got blocked by the whole female soccer team looking at him with disdain. Well, some of them. A girl or two were giggling. "I said," she took a deep breath, as if this was hard for her. "I, Kang Seulgi, challenge you, Kim Jongdae, to a 100m relay."

 

"Not interested." Jongdae was starting to walk away when Seulgi ran past him and lifted both of her arms to block him, her face earnest and determined. Why was this girl's face always dirty? Do they bath in mud over at the soccer field? "I don't have time for you," he reasoned.

 

"If you're so good, then you wouldn't back out." What was everyone’s problem with him backing out? They'd think he was superhuman or something. The grim feeling inside his stomach turned.

 

So Jongdae looked at his watch, wondering if he really did have any time for this. There was an hour to go before the student council meeting. Why was he so unlucky today? "Look here." He stepped forward. "Is that what Luhan told you? That I'm good? I never wanted that position. If you have a problem then tell it to the president's face." His face hardening, he sidestepped to pass by her.

 

Seulgi dropped her arms, fists clenched in anger. "Seulgi!" The girls rushed to her direction, patting her in the back. It was an irritating sight he needed to get out of. "You shouldn't have done that. It was reckless."

 

"Yeah, and what with your—"

 

"—I won't let him." Seulgi interrupted, and there was an edge to her voice. All control of anger was gone. A temperamental girl. "To be dropped just because of a new policy issued by those rich assholes. I'll... I'll destroy him and—" She stopped talking when she saw Jongdae reappear behind the girls.

 

"Seulgi... is it?" There was a glint in Jongdae's eye as he eyed the captain. The girls split like the Dead Sea for Moses, making a path for him. "I only got an hour to waste. What are your terms?" He'd find out just how fast she was, and then calculate it for the next time she would run away from Moomin killing her.

 

Seulgi blinked twice, not quite believing Jongdae would really be up for it. For a moment she looked like a little girl. "I—if you lose! You have to drop down from your position and appeal to the Principal to revert to the old policy. I know you. You have to power, or your family that is. If you win then..." Her eyes narrow, deciding what would be best for both her and Jongdae. "I will stop bothering you and help with the incoming event."

 

The sun was starting to set, giving the sky an orange hue, which Jongdae thought was quite a fine time to start running again. Something he had never done in 8 years.

 

_"What's the problem? Why can't you run? The race is starting!"_

 

_A tear. Two tears._

 

Even though the terms weren't fair, Jongdae nodded his approval. "Sure. Shall we get going?"

 

Surprise registered Seulgi's face, with her not moving for a few seconds until Jongdae coughed to get her attention back. And then there it was again. That earnest and determined look. It doesn't look too bad on her.

 

Tao had first introduced him to track field when he was applying for tryouts, persuading Jongdae to try out with him, albeit unsuccessfully. As he was walking with all the girls, he noticed that there weren't a lot of students left. Most of them have gone home. A few recognized Seulgi though and waved at her.

 

Behind him, the girls giggling have multiplied and he was a bit cautious one of them would jump at him. He dropped Moomin and his book bag on one of the benches while Seulgi did her stretches on the field. A long-haired girl spotted the doll, eyes gleaming. "Cute! Can I touch him?" That girl was not going to talk to him for a long time after he gave her that death glare.

  


The ear—piercing blow of the whistle encircled the whole field and Jongdae took off, feet light against the ground and abnormally swift. The cheers and bellows from the other girls were drowned out by the sound of his own thumping heart. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed this feeling. It was exhilarating, but it enthralled him how after all these years he could still run very fast.

 

That woke him up, and he blinked, feet slowing down. Jongdae wasn't supposed to win this. He decided on purposefully losing. Getting carried away wasn't in the plan. Not at all.

 

Jongdae was about to fake an injury, a sound of pain almost escaping his mouth when a shriek from someone else cut him off. He had forgotten about Seulgi, and the girl was on the ground, rubbing her ankle. The girls took off to assist Seulgi, encircling around her. Frustratingly irritated, he was regretting why he ever joined in her antics, now it got him in some stupid drama.

 

"What happened?" His knees felt wobbly as he dawdled close to them, voice thick with concern.

 

"I told her she shouldn't do this!" One of them buried her face in her own hands. "Her ankle got sprained earlier at practice. Her stubbornness will get her killed someday, I swear." The others agreed silently, looking solemn.

 

"Let's get her to the infirmary, then," he suggested. Thirty minutes—poof. It wasn't intended for his time to get wasted just like this. Surrounded by girls he wanted nothing to do with. But then again he had put up with Luhan every day for the past few months.

 

Seulgi's eyes flashed dangerously over Jongdae. "Who says I'm getting help from you?" She was trying hard to mask the pain, but an injured ankle shouldn't ever feel so good.

 

"Who says I'm helping?" Jongdae nodded to her little minions. "Have some use and carry her." Time was wasting and he was pissed enough to not put on the prince charming act. A few of the girls stared at him like he had grown a new head, and Jongdae raised an eyebrow at them, tapping his foot on the concrete impatiently.

 

The infirmary smelled of stale cigarettes and freshly-aired sanitizer. Jongdae tried to glare accusingly at the nurse, but she was nowhere to be found. Everyone else around him hurried Seulgi, drawing the curtains on one of the beds and putting her there.

 

"Only one person allowed!" A voice came from one of the beds, and the curtains were yanked to reveal the bespectacled nurse with a mole on her upper lip. She eyed them, assessing whose person could cause the most noise. "Out!"

 

"I'll put the ice on her." Jongdae bowed to the nurse.

 

Immediately the girls protested at that idea. "What?!"

 

"No!"

 

"We're _not_ leaving her with you."

 

Why did girls have to be so dramatic? Jongdae almost rolled his eyes, but the nurse would take care of them. And she did, as she swatted them away with her large beefy hands, yelling, "Out or I'll give you all a note! Out! Out!"

 

"Take a chill pill, all of you. I have something to talk to her about!" He got out before the nurse managed to close the infirmary's door on all of their faces. Through the small window, they looked at him suspiciously, unconvinced.

 

Jongdae sat on the opposite bed to Seulgi's when the nurse finished attending to her, pushing the unmade white sheets before he settled in. Seulgi was still looking at him, defeated and hurt. "What are you doing here?"

 

The ice packet the nurse had provided him with lay on his cold hands, and Jongdae raised it up, answering her question, "Making a deal. Anyway, since you—"

 

"—I didn't!" Her nose crinkled, and she glanced down.

 

Jongdae glared at her for interrupting, since she wasn't even looking at him anyway. " _Since_ you lost, as you said you have to help with the upcoming event. I have no interest in the vice president position anyway, so I'll quit sometime after the event, and that's where I'll help you and recommend you for the position. Principal Seo will agree to it. Seems a fair deal?"

 

For a moment, Seulgi seemed like she was about to refuse. Why would she? Dealing with what she thought was an “evil rich asshole”? In the end she gloomily stared at the distance and just nodded. "Give me the ice."

 

Jongdae did. Which led to a big sore on his eyes. Seulgi didnt know what she was doing. "Give me that." He snatched the ice back, earning a surprised jump and an ice cold look from the female. "You're applying it all wrong. You're either a fake soccer player or just some superhuman who doesn't get injured."

 

"What?" she asked dumbly.

 

"The ice."

 

"Oh. I was just... distracted with my thoughts."

 

"Tell me what's more interesting than having a handsome face right in front of you."

 

"You didn't look like you were the egotistic type."

 

Jongdae ignored her and pulled one of the bedside drawers, knowing it contained some bandages. Seulgi watched closely as he put the ice over her bruised ankle and wrapped the strip of cloth around it. "You have to apply pressure to it," he said as he tightly knotted the material. "You don't just dab it like what you were just doing."

 

When Jongdae looked up, he was met with Seulgi's cheeks tinting red.

 

Christ. He frowned and dropped his hands. "I'll see you around then." Seulgi didn't respond as Jongdae's heels ticked on the hard tiles with a hurried beat.

 

Luhan should thank him. This event he had only known a few minutes ago was going to be interesting after all.

 

»

  


"I'm firing him."

 

Silence, few seconds passed before the chaos that erupted from Krystal's mouth. "You can't do that!" She screamed, gaping at Junmyeon in horror. The books she was holding fell down to the floor.

 

"Are you really saying that after what just happened?"

 

Jongdae hid himself behind the counter, revising his draft for the handwritten essay they had to pass until tomorrow. He had intended on doing it earlier, but some unexpected incident happened, so it was only now that he was attending to his studies. He raised the volumes to his earphones, knowing that they were banned from using it in the bookshop but Junmyeon was too busy shouting at Krystal to notice.

 

That was the sole purpose of it, to drown out their arguing. After a few seconds, he plucked out one from his ear. "...beat up a customer!" came Junmyeon's voice rasply. "An old man at that! What will happen to the shop once this gets out?!"

 

Krystal's jaw was still hanging wide open. "That!" She waved her hands frantically. "That old man! He was provoking him, telling him how he was a disgrace to humanity!"

 

"Excuse me," said someone from behind them.

 

"Yes?" Junmyeon turned his back on Krystal, attention snapping to the police officer.

 

"I just need your statement. And you too, miss."

 

Krystal angrily huffed at him.

 

As soon as the police officer stepped outside, Junmyeon went back to yelling at the young female again, harshly whispered this time that Jongdae almost didn't hear the words. "Still no reason to beat him to a bloody pulp! God, were you always this stupid, Krystal?"

 

Jongdae put the earphone back, pausing to take a good look outside from his sitting position. It was late, the sun long set over the now snowy road. However, the street was well lit by the lights of several police cars. One of them containing his, if Junmyeon was serious and Jongdae doubted he wasn't, ex—coworker's blond head at the backseat.

 

He had done the job of closing up except for the front door, wanting nothing but to go home already. Thanks to Luhan, he now had a thousand papers waiting to be signed since their first meeting. Jongdae vowed to burn Luhan's crops someday for that.

 

He sneaked another glance at the thin layer of snow. Time was going all too fast—a lot of opportunities missed, something he considered as a setback.

 

Beating up an old man. Something about it seemed so ruthless and savage to Jongdae, even though he, of all people, shouldn't talk. The image was burned at the back of his head, of the old man whimpering on the floor, the few teeth he had left now broken.

 

It had happened all too fast. Jongdae was in another aisle, talking to a mother with her child in tow about elementary school textbooks when they heard a commotion ringing throughout the small store.

 

"What did you say about me?!" And then there was a frightened scream. First it was the old man's, then Krystal's followed.

 

Junmyeon was conveniently there to pull Zico away, punching the old man repeatedly in the face. There was blood on his skin, and Jongdae feasted his eyes in it, unmoving. His stomach scrunched, as if saying that it was supposed to be him. He was slacking in his job. His friend wouldn't be too happy.

 

More hell broke loose, then. Kyungsoo called the cops, eerily calm about all of it while Junmyeon dealt with Zico, reprimanding him. Krystal had to help the old man up herself, because Jongdae was nowhere to be found. Jongdae was in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face, Moomin not leaving his thoughts.

 

And Krystal _still_ had the nerve to protect that. God, people would do _anything_ for love. It made the hairs on his back stand up thinking about it. He could never understand that feeling.

 

Hospital charges took a toll on Junmyeon, because it was now his responsibility to pay it with his measly wage being the manager of some practically unknown bookshop. When his family had kicked him out, he was robbed of his inheritance and money. Jongdae wondered how someone could be such a fool.

 

The phone inside his pocket vibrated—a message from Baekhyun. _Big news about Chanyeol. Watch TV!!_

 

Jongdae looked up from his phone when his boss and coworker had taken their argument away to his office. He didn't care; he needed to get home now. So he pocketed the phone, and the point on his Pilot pen prickled his index finger, blood oozing out quickly. Jongdae silently cursed, feeling so dirty. In a second, his fingers were gloved, the cotton cleansing him instantly.

 

“You—!”

 

The deafening scream sent Jongdae hurling towards the room where it was emitted—Junmyeon’s office. The green metallic door slammed open as he was about to go inside, Krystal charging outwards with tear tracks in her cheeks.

 

Jongdae got a good look inside Junmyeon’s office and it was indeed, like Krystal said, a mess. Piles of clothes were strewn all over the floor and the makeshift bed, with some manga books at the side. It smelled like rust, and Jongdae was thankful he never had to go in here before all of this. His boss was seated at an office chair behind his desk, his head on his hands.

 

Jongdae stepped in, quietly kicking some sweaters on the floor out of his way, and made his way in front of Junmyeon. Maybe he should feel sad, or angry, or both? “Do you want me to talk to Krystal?” He really shouldn’t. He should be on his way home, expecting some big news that could either change his life for the better or for the worse. But his feet were glued, and so was his decision to become the sympathizer for tonight.

 

His boss looked up, once again looking like his age, and leaned back on his chair. “Are the cops still outside?”

 

“Only a few, why?”

 

Junmyeon just shook his head. “I shouldn’t have given in and hired that guy. I knew he was trouble. Now…” He sighed, fingers curling into a fist. “This isn’t going to be overlooked. The shop is done.”

 

What an overreaction. “Listen, Joonmyun,” Jongdae pouted, eyebrows forming a hill. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault, too. I guess I just… see the good in people.”

 

Junmyeon stood up, the wheels on the office chair rolling in his wake. His eyes had softened, hardness long gone as he took in Jongdae’s expression. “It’s not your fault, Jongdae.” What was this? Junmyeon was practically inches away from him, and Jongdae could smell the strong caffeinated breath he was giving off. “There’s nothing wrong in seeing the good in people. It’s just that… Zico’s just…”

 

Uncomfortable, Jongdae moved back a little. “I’m glad you think like that, Junmyeon, really.” He backed away really slowly. “I understand. I’ll make Krystal understand, too.” Quite satisfied that he came up with such a smooth dismissal, he smiled at his boss and turned to the direction of the exit.

 

“Jongdae.” Junmyeon’s voice had stopped him, and he aggravatingly turned back around. “I know…” Junmyeon sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “I know you’re still hung up on the Chanyeol thing. But seeing you here…”

 

Junmyeon’ reached out and rested his hand on Jongdae’s waist.

 

His vision darkened as quick as lightning. _He did not just do that._ With anger flaring up inside him, Jongdae punched Junmyeon square in the face, making his boss stumble backwards to his mess of a bed.

 

Jongdae wasted no time and surged forward, fist already aimed for a second punch. Before Junmyeon could utter a word out, Jongdae’s fist had already struck him in the face. “Don’t,” Jongdae punched him again. “Fucking,” and again. “Touch. Me.” The last one gave a thundering crack as Junmyeon winced with his bloodied teeth.

 

But he was stronger than he looked, for thereafter he grabbed one of the hardcovers lying on his bed and smacked Jongdae in the head with it. Losing his hold, Jongdae tumbled back and clutched his face, his _perfect_ face. Junmyeon was ruining _everything_.

 

Junmyeon was getting up, face looking horribly mangled as he came for Jongdae. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of _this_ was supposed to happen. Desperate for time and a distraction, Jongdae let out the loudest scream he could muster. The scream was hoarse, yet the panic was there.

 

And then there was silence, with Jongdae only hearing the thoughts running inside his head. Something. Just something to get this over with. Junmyeon, however, looked unfazed as he grabbed Jongdae’s limp body and threw him down the bed. Rough hands soon tightened themselves on Jongdae’s neck.

 

“I knew this would happen!” Gone was the familiar softness in Junmyeon’s eyes, only to be replaced by fury and something akin to lust. Dark eyes both stared at each other. A drip of blood dropped from Junmyeon’s nose and onto Jongdae’s cheek.

 

Jongdae’s breath hitched. Junmyeon was _tainting_ him.

 

That voice was different, too. A whole lot of different. “If you can’t be mine… you can’t be anyone else’s.”

 

Jongdae didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Junmyeon’s filthy hands were on his delicate skin or that he was seconds away from losing his breathing.

 

Was he just going to die from the hands of a poor excuse of a human? All his hard work, all the careful planning he had done, gone to waste just because this horrible animal decided to touch him. He couldn’t let it. Only one was going to die tonight, and it wasn’t him.

 

“Jongdae!” Both of their eyes widened in their sockets as another voice called out for him from outside. Junmyeon unconsciously loosened his hold as he looked at Krystal in surprise.

 

Jongdae breathed raggedly, turning to look as well. Krystal was still here. Good. The night could still be salvaged.

 

“I—It’s not what you think!” Junmyeon hastily explained and Jongdae almost laughed. He was still fumbling for excuses? Junmyeon stepped forward, and Krystal shook her head in disbelief and horror. There was a glint and both of them spotted the knife Krystal was holding.

 

“D—D—Don’t come any closer!” Her highly-pitched voice quivered. “I—I won’t hesitate to use this! You monster! I said don’t come any closer!”

 

“I won’t hurt you, Krystal.” Junmyeon's voice was desperate and pleading, eyes comically wide.

 

“I saw you!” Krystal screamed, tightening her hold on the knife. “You were gonna kill Jongdae!” She was shaking mad, eyes flitting towards Jongdae who was now tiptoeing behind Junmyeon with a finger to his lips and a scarf on the other hand.

 

It was so rude for Junmyeon to forget about him.

 

“I’ll explain later, Krystal just… give me the kni—” Jongdae locked the scarf around Junmyeon’s neck as tight as he could, making the other struggle and break free away from it with his hands.

 

“Call the cops!” Jongdae ordered. Krystal then stupidly threw the knife onto the floor and ran.

 

Jongdae went for it, momentarily letting go of Junmyeon, his feet quick as his hands when he grabbed on the sharp object. Junmyeon took the chance to remove the scarf, but it was too late. Jongdae was already facing him with the knife, walking slowly towards the person he had let act as his second mother.

 

 _So it all came down to this_ , Jongdae thought as he laughed inwardly at Junmyeon backing away, the former kicking the scarf from the floor upwards and catching it in one swoop.

 

“You… You’re not… You can’t…” Junmyeon raised his arms in defeat, eyeing the knife. As if that could stop him.

 

Jongdae gave an unearthly cackle, voice still hoarse from his strangled throat. He darted forward.

 

Just when Junmyeon had closed his eyes, accepting the impending doom and probably regretting that he had been such a stupid person, Jongdae raised the knife and stabbed his own waist with it, groaning in agony after.

 

So this was what it felt like to be stabbed. No pain no gain, after all.

 

»

 

“Wh...what?” Junmyeon couldn’t believe his eyes. Had Jongdae just stabbed himself? Everything was in chaos, his plan smashed into smithereens.

 

It had been perfect. Once Jongdae would see him in his burdened and vulnerable state, his own motherly instincts would surface and he wouldn’t be able to resist comforting Junmyeon. He knew the kid; knew that _that_ was supposed to happen, not this.

 

That was when he would pull his advances. Junmyeon couldn’t suppress his feelings for his employee anymore. Jongdae was everywhere. In his mind, in his dreams and fantasies, _everywhere_. And Junmyeon wanted the boy all to himself. He really should have thanked the fuck out of whoever killed that Chanyeol guy.

 

The last thing on his mind was Jongdae rejecting him. It had been scary, not to mention painful when Jongdae landed in on the first punch. He never knew such a kid would have the guts to reject him.

 

Junmyeon was perfect in everyone’s eyes. The nice guy who ran that one bookshop. He appeared dashingly good to everyone, except to his own family, who didn’t have an ounce of care for him.

 

But Jongdae was different. He was so sure…

 

Junmyeon only had one back up in mind if Jongdae would ruin his plans and reject him.

 

And that was taking Jongdae to hell with him.

 

But now, as the love of his life struggled to stand up as he bled to death, Junmyeon was having second thoughts. He was bewildered, and faced with the reality of what would happen to him if Jongdae did indeed die.

 

Jongdae was so beautiful, as he screamed and bit his lip. Junmyeon’s eyes couldn’t waver from the red marks he had imprinted on Jongdae’s neck. His very own.

 

»

 

“Look what you’ve done to me, Junmyeon,” Jongdae managed to rasp out. It was so difficult to breathe, and the surroundings were starting to grow hazy in his vision. Everything about this was risky. His life and work were on the line. All of this because that damned fucker had to touch him.

 

Too taken aback, Junmyeon wasn’t able to respond. He just stood there, frozen in shock.

 

Finally able to get on his feet, he took this time to wrap the scarf around Junmyeon’s neck with his now bloodied hands, not too tightly, and he kneed him in the groin for extra measure. “It wasn’t even in my plans to kill you off today.” It was getting hard to talk. The pain was too much, but he’d endure it. Jongdae spat on that once gentle face.

 

Tighter. “You should’ve stayed with your whole good boy image.”

 

Tighter. “Shouldn’t have touched me.”

 

Tightest. “Shouldn’t have loved me.”

 

Seconds slipped by and Jongdae watched as Junmyeon’s thread of life was cut off, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and body going limp. He let the corpse fall back onto the floor. The angelic features made him look so peaceful. So beautiful even then, now that he was dead. The sight intrigued him.

 

Jongdae picked the knife from the floor, resisting the urge to cry out in pain. Carefully, he wrapped Junmyeon’s pale white fingers around the handle. He hurriedly took off his gloves, squishing them in his back pocket. Both of his hands touched the scarf around Junmyeon’s neck and onto his bleeding wound. He wasn’t going to live very long if Krystal hadn’t done her one job.

 

He gave Junmyeon one last pat on the chest. “A brave attempt.”

 

“Jongdae!” Krystal conveniently reentered the room but jumped back at the sight of Junmyeon. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God.”

 

Jongdae limped towards her, letting the pain surface on his features. “K—Krystal…”

 

“Oh my god,” Krystal said once again, dry heaving at the sight of Jongdae’s waist. “What did he do?! Wh—is he _dead_?!”

 

His vision blurred, and he could tell he was moments away from fainting. He let himself fall onto Junmyeon’s bed, trash be damned. “Krystal,” he called her, gasping for breath. “He did this to me. Junmyeon’s a monster. He—He tried to take advantage of me.”

 

Any second now. Krystal cried harder than ever. “Oh, Jongdae! I’ve called back the cops! None of them were there anymore when I checked!” She was panicking, grabbing a fistful of her hair. “What do I do, what do I do? I should… should call the ambulance too, right!” She managed to do that, although clumsily for she was shaking too much.

 

His breathing came in quick, shallow gasps. It was stupid of him to get angry like that. Over a simple touch. He could’ve just rejected him kindly. Instead he had to get furious over his fear, and he had let the locked up monster inside Junmyeon break free. One wrong move and Junmyeon could’ve killed him, or worse he could’ve killed Junmyeon without thinking.

 

Jongdae would reap the consequences, but for now, he let the sense of euphoria wash over him. He had killed a monster. Moomin wasn’t going to be glad that he, himself, had done it. Jongdae had become a murderer tonight.

 

»

  
[NEXT PART](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7675936/chapters/17483422)


	2. TRACK 2B: keep kicking ass in the morning and taking names in the evening

When Jongdae woke up, his first line of thought was about how he'd single-handedly ruined his future overnight. 

 

With eyes half-open, he breathed in the tangy smell of hospitals, the ceiling lights shining down on what he was sure was his less than perfect face at the moment. He didn’t want to wake up yet. The crippling feeling of self-loathing and frustration forced him face the harsh reality and the consequences of what he had done. 

 

“He’s awake!” Jongdae heard one of them cry out. “Call the doctor!” It sounded a lot like his dad, except… uncharacteristically frightened. His family was here. Who else was seeing him in this state? The tips of his fingers jerked a little, and it was then that he noticed the wires attached to him, inserted in his body. At some point, someone touched and put these on him. The thought alone made him sick. 

 

“Sweetie, I was so worried!” His mom’s overwrought face came to view as she came forward to hold him in a tight embrace. She leaned closer, dropping her voice to a whisper as she asked, “Why?”

 

When he didn't show the slightest response, his mom let go of him, makeup smudged from the excessive crying. The pools of her eyes, puffy, held disappointment in them. “You’ve only been out for a few hours. The doctor said it was lucky that you were hurried to the hospital fast. You’ve lost a lot of blood, honey.” 

 

Jongdae could only stare lifelessly as his mother dabbed her eye with a tissue. Hospitals always made him feel empty. Not to mention the tough predicament that he was in. He might have satisfied the innate hunger inside him, but at what cost? Everyone knew. He was a murderer. The status and reputation he had worked so hard for… destroyed because of a single touch. 

 

Said doctor came bustling in with nurses on her wake. Something about her was familiar, but Jongdae couldn’t pinpoint what. Perhaps it was that tired smile. “Good afternoon, Mr. Kim. I’m Doctor Jung. Are you feeling better?” 

 

He detested hospitals, never went nor visited. When he was sick, it was his dad who would always cure him. The face of a doctor standing inches away was new to him, but he hated it already. Incompetent, evil--

 

“--I’m fine,” he cut himself off, throat scratchy yet voice still audible. 

 

“Good.” The doctor was young, voice high-pitched. “Thankfully there were no other injuries. If you’re wondering what happened, I’m sure the police can help you.” She then turned to one of the nurses, mumbling about more of the stuff he couldn’t care less about. He wanted to get home. Away from all of this. Maybe think about life, and the one hundred ways he could’ve ruined it better. 

 

“I thought I said those people shouldn’t come here while my son is still injured!” His mother raised her shrill voice. 

 

Dr. Jung only gave her a deadpan stare. “That’s up to Jongdae here to decide. Jongdae, you  _ are _ feeling alright to answer some questions?” 

 

Great, he’d be surrounded by more authoritative fucks. He couldn’t catch a break from this travesty. Jongdae nodded, accepting his fate. 

 

Jongdae’s mom groaned in response, massaging her temples while Dr. Jung continued on giving the nurses more orders. She left quickly to assist more patients. 

 

Moomin. Where was Moomin? It didn’t feel right when Moomin wasn’t right beside him. He was bound to make some wrong decisions when it happened, as proven by last night. 

 

“Sweetie.” His mom hurried beside him. “Just tell them you’re not feeling okay. I’ll take it from there. They’ll understand. They must.” There was a hint of panic in her voice. 

 

“Stop it, mother.” The hard edge on his voice made his mother taken aback. She still had doubt on his lying abilities. “I’ll answer whatever they’ll throw at me. If I get taken to jail, then so be it. I’ll get out even then.” 

 

“With my help!” She harshly whispered. 

 

“With your help,” he confirmed with finality. 

 

A few minutes after sparingly glancing at the hospital food tray set out in front of him, in came policemen entering through the door. Some he remembered, most notable was Detective Lee. Mrs. Kim had given up on trying to get Jongdae to eat anything, so she angrily sat on one of the monoblock chairs. 

 

Detective Lee didn’t seem too happy as he repeatedly clicked on his pen. “We meet again. Just in time for your boyfriend’s case to get closed. He went straight to trial and got convicted. So I’d cheer up a little if I were you.” 

 

Jongdae blinked, now sitting up a little straighter. Case closed? “What do you mean?” The big news. How could he forget?

 

He already had a clue what it was before the detective had even answered, though. “Your boyfriend’s killer got caught,” Detective Lee simply said. Everyone’s breath stiffened at the words. “Didn’t you see the news?”

 

“I was busy at work.” His fingers were trembling madly, his mind wrapping around the fact that they had caught someone else. Should he feel offended that someone took credit for Moomin’s own work, or gratitude?

 

“Ah, of course we go to the matter at hand.” Detective Lee brought out a notepad. 

 

“Excuse me,” his mother’s commanding voice interrupted. “I feel like you should tell my son about it first at least. That boy was very important to him, as I think you already know.” 

 

Detective Lee just stared at her for a few passing seconds before obliging. “The forest’s caretaker, a man in his seventies, confessed to the crime. He lives far off in the woods and he has a weapon similarly close to the one used on Mr. Park. He tested negative for any mental illnesses and now after all the yapping of having “done it”. Personally, I think he just did that so we couldn’t trash about his forest any longer.” 

 

The caretaker, of course. Jongdae barely remembered the exact details, but the caretaker wasn’t so fond of Chanyeol. He couldn’t believe his luck. One wrong move and the caretaker would’ve been yapping about another killer instead. Thankful he might have been for the save, he was still somehow irked. 

 

“I’ve never met him,” he provided. 

 

“Maybe that’s why you’re still alive,” told his mother. 

 

“Now, we already questioned Ms. Jung. Not to be confused with your doctor, but your co-worker. She’s currently at home. I’ve heard about the incident with the old man,” Detective Lee said all in one go, going through his notepad. 

 

“Old man incident?” His quiet father spoke up. 

 

Detective Lee turned to him, quite awestruck. “There was a fight involving an old man and one of Jongdae’s co-workers. It wasn’t a pretty scene, from the tale provided by Officer Jang to me a while ago. The co-worker in particular has escaped from the police car.” 

 

Hold up. “You can’t be serious.” 

 

“I haven’t cracked a joke for the last ten years,” grumbled the detective. “He’s at large and the police are looking all over for him.” 

 

“Does Krystal… know about that?” Jongdae inquired. 

 

“She has been informed. She didn’t look too happy.” 

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you work in that failing business,” his mother cried, flailing her hands everywhere and almost knocking a vase of ‘Get Well Soon’ flowers. “I keep telling you to intern for your father, yet you insist working in that small bookshop. Now look where that got you--sexually assaulted!” 

 

Jongdae had no wonder which side of the family the small part of victim-blaming he possessed had come from. “Mother. Please. My head hurts.” 

 

“See? His head hurts!” His mother exclaimed. “You can do your questions some other time.” 

 

Detective Lee didn’t look amused. He never did. 

 

“Let’s just get this over with. I’m about to provide you with the events from my own mouth.” He wasn’t lying when he said his head hurt. 

 

It was easy, the retelling laced with lies and left out parts rolling out of his tongue eloquently. Every person in the room hung on each word. “I heard them fighting, so I checked it out. I was going to comfort Junm…  _ him _ . But then he… he…. touched me.” He let out a cry while his mother gasped. “I was honestly so disgusted. I didn’t think he would do something like that. I looked up to him. So I just did what I first thought of, and that was punching him.”

 

Detective Lee jotted it all down on his trusty notepad. 

 

“He was angry with that.” Jongdae bit his lip hard. “He tried to--tried to strangle me with his own hands.” His mother squeezed on his arm so tightly it might’ve bled faster than his lip. Jongdae remembered the grip Junmyeon had on his neck and wanted to throw up. That thing touched him.  _ Touched  _ him. His body was unsanitary. No good. He shouldn’t reveal any more than he should. “That’s when Krystal found us. He tried to calm her down but he forgot about me. So I,” he sniffed. “I tried to strangle him with a scarf.

 

“Then I told Krystal to call the cops and she threw the knife down the floor. He saw it, and then punched me. He was unexpectedly strong… he… he grabbed the knife and plunged it into my waist. I think he was surprised about what he had just done. Because he just stood there frozen. Before he could gain back his wits, I grabbed the scarf and tried to subdue him.”

 

“You must be stronger than you look,” Detective Lee commented. 

 

“Our son,” Mr. Kim interjected, loud voice booming. “Has won numerous titles for his strength back in his elementary days, and is a frequenter of the gym.” 

 

“I know about that. Some running titles too.” 

 

Running. 

 

“And then what?” the detective prodded. 

 

Jongdae glanced at the heart monitor beside the IV, feeling calm at the gradually fastening beats it was visualizing. “I… I killed him. Oh god. I killed him with the scarf.” He sobbed on his hands and his mother grabbed onto him, shouting obscenities at the background. “It wasn’t supposed to happen! I was just so scared he was going to stab me again!” 

 

His mother reverted back from being a dragon to comfortingly shushing him. “It was for self-defense sweetie. Don’t feel bad at all. I can’t believe someone would do such a thing to our child!”

 

Some of the officers started to talk to themselves, while the detective only studied Jongdae. Jongdae tearfully wiped his eyes, looking at the wall clock above the officers’ heads. Had he calculated the right amount of time a real victim would’ve explained themselves? “Your testimony doesn’t clash with Ms. Jung’s,” the detective started to say, pocketing the notepad. “The marks and fingerprints on your neck do provide us with the information that you were strangled by Mr. Kim. Well,” he turned to leave. “I’ll give you a ring for more news. The funeral, I heard, is to be done by the weekend.” 

 

“Do you honestly think?!” His mother huffed. “That Jongdae will attend the funeral of such a vile creature!” 

 

“I would think Jongdae is the opposite enough to do so. That reminds me--you’re safe.” 

 

Jongdae let an eyebrow raise questioningly. 

 

“Kim Junmyeon’s family decided not to press charges.” 

 

“Well!” Mrs. Kim raised her chin in a haughty manner. “It’s only right to do so! I will destroy that family into pieces if they ever think Jongdae here is at fault!”

 

That made sense, actually. Junmyeon was the tragically unloved son. Would they waste any more money on him? 

 

“Sounds to me like they don’t want the media to know about it. I’ve seen the family around,” spouted his father with a disapproving look. “Their second son’s engagement party is coming up, and rumors about a merger. It’ll take a toll if this gets out.” There was a glint to his father’s eye, as if he was toying with an idea. 

 

“Very smart. I could see where your son got his brain from.” With that, the detectives ushered their way out, leaving the family of three into a lapse of silence. 

 

Jongdae leaned back on his bed, weary with exhaustion but feeling bubbly inside. He had gotten away with two crimes in a single day. Provided the first one wasn’t even his own work. But Moomin’s. 

 

Moomin. 

 

“Where’s Moomin?” He asked his mother. 

 

Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue, seemingly remembering all the times she had scolded Jongdae into not treating it as a friend once he had outgrown being fifteen. But she was tired as well. “I knew you’d ask about that… thing.” She sighed and opened his bag containing the doll. 

 

Moomin didn’t look angry. Its face was blank, and that frightened Jongdae even more. “Where’re my pants?” 

 

“The police took it for investigation.” She zipped his bag shut. “Don’t worry, honey. If you’re worrying about the gloves, I’ve discarded it before they could take it. I also told them about your… condition.” 

 

Time seemed to stop still for Jongdae.

 

“What.”

 

“Now, don’t be mad. It makes light of the situation on how you felt being tou--”

 

“There was absolutely nothing necessary for you to tell them that,” he gritted his teeth. The police now knew about his weakness. His fear of touching. What if they used it on him one day? He was antsy about one person finding out about it, but now maybe the whole homicidal department knew. Jongdae was very angry. 

 

He calmed himself enough to say, “I want to be alone.” He glared at both of them until they were out of the door. 

 

Jongdae wanted to throw something. Perhaps that vase, or the untouched food tray, or maybe both. Frustration welled up inside his body, and he wanted to scream and thrash around violently. But he couldn’t because he wasn’t like that.

 

Jongdae was calm and collected. He tightly locked Moomin into an embrace, voice going low as he tried to lull himself to a sound sleep. “Don’t worry. You’ll be there for the next.” 

 

»

 

The ‘closed’ sign in front of the shop did no wonders to lift his mood, Jongdae observed as he stood right in front of the shop getting ransacked by some moving trucks. He had somehow liked the peaceful stay when he had worked here, but all of that was in the past. Now he was just a murderer with no job. 

 

None of Junmyeon’s family members wanted to run it after its previous owner’s demise, which was understable because it was never that successful in any way. Jongdae glanced to his left and was met with Kyungsoo’s side profile. A sad expression was on his face as he watched the books get taken away. 

 

And to Kyungsoo’s left was Sehun, just staring at Kyungsoo with concern in his eyes. When he noticed the cold empty gaze Jongdae was giving him, he cast his eyes away. What a kid. 

 

The three of them found themselves at the coffee shop close by, few of the staff turning to them with pitiful glances. Jongdae recalled the last time he had been here, and that was with Jongin. It made him remember his friends back at school, who never visited him at the hospital. Jongdae couldn’t blame them, if they were scared of being friends with a murderer then so be it. 

 

“Don’t order coffee. You look like you haven’t slept for days,” commanded Kyungsoo, stoic as he read the menu. 

 

“I look perfectly fine. Though I’ll take your advice to heart.” 

 

The server who arrived didn’t bother asking them questions about the closed bookshop, which they were all thankful for. 

 

“Really… That Junmyeon…” Kyungsoo stabbed his cinnamon danish with resounding force. “I knew he liked you. But not to that extent. Jesus, if I’d have known this would happened I would’ve done the closing duty.” 

 

Jongdae silently sipped his hot chocolate. 

 

“Just so you know,” continued Kyungsoo. “I don’t blame you. Not at all. Sure, he didn’t deserve to die. Just go to prison but I think I would have done the same. That was sexual harassment.” 

 

Sehun coughed beside Jongdae, drawing the latter’s attention to him. Sehun, in a blue plaid shirt and waxed red hair, awkwardly smiled as he gestured for them to keep moving along. Both men squinted at him. 

 

“I just feel really bad,” Jongdae said, licking his lips for any remnants of cocoa. Out of all the things he should be feeling, sadness wasn’t one of them. That man deserved to die. “He wasn’t supposed to die like that.” 

 

“And how, pray tell, was he supposed to die?” Kyungsoo asked. 

 

Jongdae shrugged. “Natural causes or old age. Certainly not murdered by the likes of me. I’m still really torn about the whole thing. Maybe I should go to therapy or something.” Except he’d rather die than do that. 

 

“If it’s really that bad. I can tell you’re holding up, though. Don’t think too much about it. Occupy yourself with other things. Christmas vacation is coming up. I’m expecting a gift.” Kyungsoo didn’t exactly give Jongdae a chance to reply as he got up to leave for the bathroom. Which left Sehun to be the subject of Jongdae’s interest. The boy in question was staring at the soles of his feet, not looking up. 

 

“What do you think, Sehun?” Jongdae asked, making the boy jump a little. 

 

He blinked, confused. “About what?”

 

“Do you think he deserved his death? That I deserve to get away with it?”

 

Jongdae, fixated on the way Sehun’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down while looking left and right profusely, was amused on how the boy got so worked up about everything but still managed to keep that apathetic face in check. The younger sat in brooding silence. “I, too, think he should’ve just went to prison. Love does things to people.” 

 

But Jongdae wasn’t listening anymore. Instead, his gaze went over to the exposed protruding collarbone, and the dark scattered marks imprinted on it. Sehun noticed, but it was all too late when he tried to button up his shirt frantically. “That thing on your collarbone… was that a bruise?” 

 

“T-That’s just a hickey,” Sehun hiccuped. 

 

It didn’t look like a hickey, but Jongdae had no interest in others’ sexual lives and decided to let it go. “To each their own.” He set down the cup of hot chocolate after smiling on it. “Then how should I put this… imagine if it was Kyungsoo in Junmyeon’s place instead and you at mine? Kyungsoo’d  _ beat  _ you up and then stab you later on. Kyungsoo touching you without your consent?”

 

Sehun was panicking. “Wh-What? You’re making me kind of uncomfortable…” He squirmed in his seat.

 

“Am I? I’m genuinely curious, though.” 

 

Sehun hesitated. “I… I wouldn’t kill him. I couldn’t.”

 

“Maybe because it’s a normal occurrence for both of you?--”

 

Kyungsoo’s coffee cup doubled over as the force of Sehun’s fist thumped down the table. It made a mess, some of the liquid dripping down Jongdae’s own expensive leather shoes. Jongdae’s smile froze in its place, the fuming Sehun beside him doing no favors to his mood. “I think that’s enough,” Sehun calmly stated. 

 

Jongdae called on one of the staffs. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Sehun stood up, mouth kept in a thin line with pink tainting his cheeks. “Don’t make assumptions.” His voice quivered. “We’re not… we’re not like that. You’re scary, hyung.” 

 

“Sit down, Sehun. You’ve already ruined my shoes, don’t ruin my day,” Jongdae sighed, forceful. Sehun sat down, albeit now dubious of his intentions. “Relax. I’m just riling you up. I don’t care, really.” 

 

Sehun gulped and refused to look at Jongdae. 

 

Jongdae smiled, catlike. “You’re cute when you have other expressions on.”

 

-

 

“Jongdae!” His group of friends immediately surrounded him as he took his first steps back at campus. Aside from the obvious undisguised scared looks the passersby gave him, no doubt clinging to the news that the School’s Golden Boy had killed someone, Jongdae felt almost at ease when his friends preoccupied him with attention. 

 

“We heard the news and wanted to visit you in the hospital!” Tao exclaimed, stepping his foot down and shutting down the others’ attempts at hoarding Jongdae’s attention. “But they didn’t let us. I wanted to strangle all of the hospital staff, really.”

 

“Nice word choice,” snickered Yixing in the back, but dropped it as soon as he saw Jongdae caught him. 

 

Jongdae smiled at them all. “Sorry about that. I think that was my parents’ decision. Thank you for all the support, though. These past few days have been rough.” 

 

“Listen, Jongdae.” Baekhyun stepped forward, restrained. His puppylike eyes were cast downwards. “The news spread to the online school boards fast and… I’ve thought about it. It’s unfair when the victim is the one getting blamed for it, so don’t let any of the haters get you down.” Jongdae could tell Baekhyun was having a hard time letting all of that out his system. He was still obviously traumatized by Chanyeol’s death, and now he just heard the one he thought was his best friend became a murderer. Jongdae wasn’t the only one having a hard time. 

 

“Byun Baek…” Jongdae grinned. “Thanks. Really.” 

 

“I’m worried about the future more than the present.” Baekhyun looked on worriedly. 

 

That was the thing. He’d never get accepted into jobs if employers suddenly found out that he was the Bookshop Owner Murderer. What was once a bright future turned dim grey. He’d have no choice but to intern into his dad’s company, which wasn’t bad except that wasn’t what he wanted. He might as well rethink his college options now, for he had no chance at going far in Political Science with his image corrupted. 

 

Jongdae was living in his very own nightmares, people finding out his fear and weakness, the image he was so careful of tarnished, everyone giving him odd looks. All because of a single touch. 

 

A snort coming from behind took him back to reality. It was Luhan, looking highly amused.

 

Baekhyun did not take this too kindly. He rounded on Luhan. “Think it’s so funny, pretty boy? You weren’t the one assaulted, after all.” 

 

“I think the term is ‘president’, Byun Baek. I mean, everyone has been calling me that so far. And no, I just don’t want to be a debbie downer like you guys. Don’t misunderstand, I do feel bad for Jongdae as well. Having someone touch him just after Chanyeol’s death… it’s all too fast, don’t you think?”

 

“Luhan, shut up,” Tao ordered. 

 

“The important thing is if you feel fine, Jongdae,” Baekhyun uttered. 

 

“I’m fine,” Jongdae replied. “The bell’s about to ring, is it? Let’s just go. Oh and Jongin.” Jongin looked at him, evidently surprised that he was called by name. “I need your notes in Lit class.”

 

“Oh, uh, okay. I don’t have very much…” 

 

Jongdae just shrugged and continued down the hallway in the main building, friends following him from behind. Everywhere people stared and whispered, and as much as Jongdae hated to say it, he liked the attention. Some were even blatantly pointing at him, no shame. 

 

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed,” started Luhan. “There are quite some rumors floating around. Crazy ones like you seducing the man and then murdering him. Really baseless. If I would start a rumor I’d say you killed him just for the heck of it. Seems more like you.”

 

Jongdae almost laughed. The others didn’t share his sense of humour, though. “That’s disgusting,” said Baekhyun. “Jongdae wouldn’t do that.”

 

“As the president, shouldn’t you be preventing these rumors about your vice?” inquired Tao with his arms across his chest. “You seem to be enjoying it even.” 

 

That made sense. Though it wouldn’t surprise Jongdae if it were Luhan who started those rumors in the first place. Luhan wanted some fun out of this situation. He always did. Luhan was almost as sketchy as Jongdae, to be quite frank. 

 

His eyes landed on the tall guy at the back. Jongin was focused on him with a hint of sadness mixed with uncertainty in the dark pools of his eyes. Surely he’d understand. He knew about Jongdae’s condition. Jongdae would be really disappointed if Jongin turned his back onto him. He was starting to think the other was much more than that. 

 

“I don’t mind rumors. They don’t harm me. However, a tardy slip from the teacher will.” Staring at his watch, Jongdae quickly regained a fast pace as he realized he was about to be a minute late. He didn’t knew Mr. Choi so it would be better to tread carefully. 

 

“Ah, Jongdae?” Jongin called out to him from behind, and Jongdae almost gritted his teeth in frustration. He was going to be  _ late _ . 

 

He smiled at the boy. “What’s up?”

 

“Can we, um, walk together?” Jongin shyly asked, so interested in the ceiling. “I have questions to ask about… stuff.” 

 

“Woah there. Since when did you guys get all buddy buddy?” Yixing shouted. 

 

“I’m not going to kill him, don’t worry,” snapped Jongdae. “Can you guys just please leave us alone?” Not even ten minutes in and he was already irritated about everything.

 

Yixing put his hands up defensively, mouth open. “I wasn’t thinking of that.” 

 

They walked together with their steps in sync, Jongdae waiting for Jongin to start the conversation, even if he knew that was probably one of Jongin’s problems as a socially incapable person. Jongin only spoke up a few minutes later, when Jongdae was conveniently right at the front door of his first class. 

 

“Are you, you know… okay?” 

 

Jongdae closed his eyes and sighed. He should’ve expected this. “I’m fine, Jongin, I already told you lot that a thousand times. What more do I need to say?”

 

“But I’ve heard about it. That guy touched you and look--” Jongin bit his dry, plump lip. “I’m kind of worried about you. If you ever need…” 

 

“Jongin, listen.” Jongdae raised a hand to stop Jongin's blabbering. “I appreciate your concern and all, but I don’t ever want to hear about my… phobia ever again. Especially coming from you. Zip it.” 

 

Jongin backed down easily, shoulders slumping it acknowledgement of the edge in Jongdae's voice. “I’m s-sorry. I... I gotta go.” He rubbed his hands surreptitiously and walked away as fast as he could to either save himself – from further embarrassment or from him, Jongdae didn’t know. 

 

Something didn’t sit right with him about the whole situation. His thoughts were reeling with  _ wrong wrong wrong wrong _ .  Jongdae knew he should just get to class and forget about the whole interaction. But instead he was turning back, and calling out Jongin’s name among the noisy throng of students. “Jongin!”

 

Jongin looked back, discreet and soft eyes meeting his own. 

 

When they were face to face, Jongdae found himself unable to conjure an excuse. Something. Just something. 

 

“What is it, Jongdae?” Jongin asked, nervous fingers fiddling with the strap of his backpack. “If you’re still nervous whether I’d tell on anybody--” 

 

“--Dance.”

 

“Huh?” 

 

Jongdae exhaled. “Show me your dancing sometime.” 

 

“Um, sure, but… why?” 

 

“Because I’m Kim Jongdae.” Jongdae smirked faintly, observing how Jongin’s mouth became slightly agape at the sight. “You’ll do whatever I ask of you.” 

 

-

 

That was the fifth time someone had backed away slowly when he had tried asking for notes. Not that Jongdae was counting – he definitely was, though – but it didn’t affect him in the slightest. If it did, it was only because something about the action empowered him. He prided himself in having people jump from fright at the mention of his name. If murdering people was what it took for people to see him in a new scary light, then maybe he should’ve done it earlier. 

 

He was still bitter about the whole Junmyeon thing, though. Big mistake, it was. 

 

Jongdae flipped a page on his textbook, carefully highlighting some keywords as he tuned out Luhan’s voice in the background. They were in a meeting with the discussion of the school event as the agenda. 

 

Luhan raised his voice. “My mother has volunteered to sponsor us in exchange of…” 

 

Number of people surprised by this: zero. The whole school was such in a Luhan’s-Mom-spirit lately. 

 

“Um, Jongdae?” A faint voice whispered at his left and Jongdae saw Choa inching closer, a few of her buttons undone. “We need some of the papers signed for approval. I’d be more than glad to do them but I’m kind of stuck with all the letters I still need to edit. Do you mind?”

 

Jongdae grinned as he took the said papers from Choa’s hold. He really hated this job. 

 

“Thanks. At least the representatives can help you out.”

 

“Representatives?” 

 

“The ones I’m about to call,” Luhan interrupted, haughtily, tapping his steel stick in front of Jongdae on the table.  “If you ever so kindly listened at all, Mr. Kim Jongdae, you'd know that representatives are the ones who volunteered to help out in the event, because who doesn’t want a bunch of extra credits right? Xing, open the door.” 

 

Jongdae suddenly felt like he should’ve been keeping notes on the list of things that had so far surprised him today. It would be blank, he thought as he spotted the sleek black hair he was expecting to see. Seulgi stared back, face overcome with murderous intent. 

 

Luhan coughed, drawing everyone’s attention back to him. “Helping us are Choi Minho from the soccer team…” A well-built guy bowed, his tight uniform almost ripping apart. He and Luhan did a secret handshake, that Jongdae could only suppose was language for the brainless brawny team soccer club. 

 

“–Kwon Yuri from the dance club.” The said girl bowed elegantly. She wore a tan that reminded him a lot of Jongin. Their skin was a bit unconventional, yes, but he thought it was a nice change.

 

“Kang Seulgi from the female soccer team,” Luhan continued with mirth, as Seulgi glared at his amused look. She seemingly remembered where she was at the moment, because the next second she was forcing a smile, instead. 

 

The next girl didn’t even bother making Luhan introduce her. Jongdae knew who she was –she was almost as well-known as he was. Bae Suzy charmed everyone with her smile. “I’m Bae Suzy, here to service you.” 

 

“Isn’t that girl the one who was almost president?” Choa whispered, staring in awe. 

 

Suzy heard that. But she just kept on smiling. This one, Jongdae thought. This one had it in for Luhan. He was suddenly somehow excited at seeing how things would turn out. Suzy looked like she was in here for revenge. Jongdae couldn’t really blame her. Luhan had robbed her of her position.

 

“Last but not the least, the broest of the bros, my homie, Kim Minseok.” Luhan and Minseok did the same handshake, then Luhan went for a bro-hug. “They’ll basically be your slaves for the next few months. Order them around all you want but make sure it’s related to the event.” Luhan adjusted his faux spectacles, throwing everyone a disarming smile. “Fighting.”

 

“He is  _ so  _ disgusting.” Seulgi commented out of the blue as she and Jongdae moved from one room to another, looking for some sign of the teacher who they needed a signature from. 

 

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Jongdae. He wondered what Seulgi’s SJW tumblr blog must’ve looked like. 

 

Seulgi tilted her head, raising her eyebrows at him. “I’m wondering how you could continue being the vice president if you hate him so much.”

 

“I don’t hate him. I just don’t care.” Jongdae thrusted some papers in Seulgi's direction after rechecking them. Seulgi groaned as her already heavy stack became even heavier while Jongdae was basically carrying nothing but his ballpoint pen. “And personal matters shouldn’t affect anything work-related.”  _ You hear that from hell, Joonmyun? _

 

After making it past the sixth floor, Seulgi could be heard gritting her teeth and muttering curses. “Where is that damned teacher…” Her eyes went wide when she saw Jongdae gaining speed in his steps, leaving her behind. “Hey! I’m starting to think you struck me a deal as a representative so you could order me around!” 

 

“Oh my. I got caught?” Jongdae deadpanned, peering from his glasses for a sign of the teacher. 

 

Seulgi scowled. “This guy--! If I didn’t have my hands so full you’d be so dead by now--” She stopped in her tracks, then ran after him. “So um, yeah.” She coughed. “That guy. You shouldn’t have killed him.”

 

Jongdae ignored her. “Hmm, I think the teacher’s in the other building. I remember some kid telling me that.”

 

“What?!” Seulgi whined and almost dropped the papers, earning her a burning gaze from Jongdae. “Then why didn’t you say so in the first place!” She raised her leg and aimed a kick at Jongdae’s shins but missed. 

 

“For someone who kicks for a passion, you sure are inaccurate with that aim.” It was all Seulgi could do to not punch the guy. 

 

-

 

Jongdae fumbled with the thin cut of fabric, the teal tie looking so out of place the more he stared at it in the mirror. It was another one of those dinners again. Observing closely, he was more than glad that the pimples were all gone now, only some red blemishes remaining. Nothing a little concealer couldn’t fix. He also had perfect hair tonight. He looked perfect and boy, was he happy about that. He was back to his old self. Not even the thought of having another rich family to impress wavered his happiness. 

 

“You have to stay here,” he murmured at Moomin, who was sitting idly at the foot of his bed. “You can’t be part of the show.” 

 

Metal music blared from one of the speakers his brother had stolen. Jongdae got out of his room and knocked on the door beside his, assertive. “Turn it down,” he ordered. If anything, the music only got louder. Jongdeok was a hopeless case. It was why their mother had given up on him so long ago. Maybe he needed another beating. 

 

He was a little surprised when he saw the chief inspector and his wife sitting at the other end of the table. The woman who had blond streaks in her hair smiled warmly at Jongdae. The chief inspector didn’t look at him. 

 

“Thank you for joining us for dinner,” Jongdae started, pouring them wine. It had a big effect on the woman, who started to stream him with compliments. He would guess that they were childless from the way she was acting. 

 

His phone vibrated in his back pocket. Usually he would ignore it, but this time he felt like he could use an excuse to get away from the grabbing hands of the wife. “Sorry, I’ll just take this call.” He bowed and moved upstairs to his room. 

 

He pressed answer. “Krystal?”

 

“Jongdae!” Her nasal voice rang. Why was she always shouting? “I’m so so so sorry I didn’t get in touch with you. I was in therapy since last week.” 

 

It was that bad? “Are you okay now?”

 

“Feeling better. What about you? Therapy’s great; I think you should try it.”

 

“I don’t really like those kind of things. Never mind about me. I’ve been coping. Clearly I’m not as strong as you to go to therapy.” He laughed it off. 

 

“Oh, Jongdae.” Just like that, she was in her sad demeanor all over again. “I don’t regret not being there. I saved you after all. What I regret is throwing the knife carelessly. If I hadn’t done that--”

 

She went to therapy but still had problems about it? Maybe she should go back. “--It’s fine, Krystal. Don’t get too worked up about it because it already happened. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Junmyeon was… unstoppable, with or without the knife. You know how he is, Krystal. He was hiding something horrible inside him all this time. I regret killing him but nobody should overlook his actions.”

 

He could picture Krystal nodding on the other end of the line. “That’s the thing. I knew he was attracted to you--”

 

“--No one could’ve predicted what he did.” 

 

A sigh. “I’m glad you’re feeling fine, Jongdae. I’ve told the police that he was horrible. I was ready to testify against him too. And Zico…”

 

Oh, the escapee. The beater of old men. That Zico. “Have you had any contact with him?”

 

“No!” Krystal coughed while Jongdae backed the phone away from his ear, wincing. “I’ve been trying to contact him but he’s nowhere to be found!” 

 

Jongdae just smirked. “Alright. I need to go now. See you?” He thought he couldn’t feel better tonight. And boy, was he wrong. 

 

-

 

“Maid cafe?!” It was illegal to be that loud on Tuesday morning. But for Baekhyun, he lived being loud. “Your class is doing that?! I’m jealous.” 

 

Jongdae chuckled sarcastically then smacked Baekhyun with his milk carton. Why was this guy so gullible? “I was kidding. Why would we have a maid cafe when our class is predominantly male?”

 

Baekhyun laughed along, scratching the part where he was smacked. “Ha ha ha, it’s just… y’know… some guys like that.” 

 

“Oh, I know!” Yixing raised his hand like a middle-schooler. “You’re doing a… haunted house. Jongdae could easily scare someone with a bloodied mask and an axe.” 

 

“What are you implying here exactly?” 

 

The mood took a nosedive as the air surrounding their lunch table became cold. Tao glared at Yixing while Baekhyun coughed, complaining about soggy french fries. Yixing struggled to apologize but Jongdae already dismissed him by putting a book in front of his face. 

 

Tao tried, though. “It’s because of your hair that you look like a clown,” he commented bluntly, scrunching his nose up. “I mean, look at you. Is permed hair really necessary?” 

 

Jongdae swept his hair back. “I don’t care what people think. I love it.” Truthfully, he just wanted to try a perm at least once in his life. 

 

“You, uh…” Jongin suddenly whispered.  Everyone went quiet to hear what he had to say. “...Kinda look like my dog. Monggu.”

 

Tao, Yixing, Baekhyun and Luhan lost it at that. 

 

Jongdae gave Jongin an inscrutable look.

 

“It’s a good thing!” Jongin tried to save himself, eyes widening. “He’s really cute and all.”

 

_ Cute _ . Jongdae didn’t know whether he should be flattered or offended, but he was somehow leaning on the former--god knew why. 

 

Baekhyun was patting Jongin in the back. “Thanks for giving me something to laugh about for the next few years.” 

 

Jongin, unfamiliar with all the attention, shyly chuckled and scratched his head. 

 

Jongdae didn’t want to look like he had no sense of humor, so he laughed along. But just because it was the socially right thing to do. 

 

“To answer everyone’s question,” Luhan butted in, still snickering, “we’re doing a kissing booth. It was the vote of the majority.” 

 

“Oh wow,” Baekhyun jumped at the topic and forgot about Jongdae’s hair fiasco. “Are you participating, Jongdae?” 

 

“‘Course not,” he quickly replied, disgusted at the thought of kissing some stranger. “I have other things to attend to.” 

 

“Ah…” Tao responded, trying to stifle his laugh. “Vice president Kim Jongdae trying to own up to his title.” 

 

At that moment, Luhan looked like a proud mom.  Jongdae fought the urge to punch him square in the face.

 

“Will you let go of me?!” The whole table, maybe even the whole cafeteria, stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the direction of the angry voice. Seulgi entered the hall, fuming while having a good staredown with Bae Suzy. 

 

“What’s happening here?” Luhan asked, distressed and in alarm. “Our two representatives--”

 

“I just want to talk, Seulgi.” Suzy batted her eyelashes innocently. 

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. I saw you.” While Suzy emitted an aura of a sly fox, Seulgi had that one of a wild boar. Seulgi harrumphed, bouncing a soccer ball with one hand and then storming towards her own table, where her gang of girls was waiting for her with concerned looks on their faces. 

 

Jongdae had one or two guesses on what happened but he couldn’t find the part where he had to care enough to intervene.

 

“Luhan-ah.” Suzy was suddenly in front of them, obviously faking her sad expression. “I think Kang Seulgi doesn’t like me. You heard her shouting at me. I just wanted to, like, talk about the decorations for the event.”

 

“Really?” Luhan asked, worried.

 

“Yeah, is it too late to--”

 

“--Why would you talk about decorations with her when we already agreed that that was the assistant secretary’s line of work? Also, Minseok is the representative of the visuals team, isn't he? Seulgi’s under my wing, or were you not listening when the meeting took place?” Jongdae rambled, unable to control his mouth. Sometimes, he just couldn’t keep quiet when people were being idiots around him.

 

Suzy’s brows furrowed as she goggled at Jongdae with controlled frustration. 

 

“He’s right.” Yixing smiled. 

 

Luhan clapped his hands. “What did you need to ask?” He smiled. “You could always direct questions at me.”

 

“I…” Suzy mused. “I was wondering if everyone’s okay with the ComicSans typeface?”

 

Luhan’s smile froze in its place. 

 

-

 

“Stupid Bae Suzy.” All of Seulgi’s pent-up frustration could be heard as it poured out into the sounds of the keyboard clicking from furiously typing the document they had to print out. Jongdae shook his head while observing her from behind. “That bitch is not better than--” 

 

“Me?” Jongdae whispered from above her shoulder as he stared at the laptop screen. “Tsk tsk. You’ve spelt the principal’s name wrong.” 

 

Seulgi almost hit his chin when she reflexively jumped in alarm. The Starbucks cup rattled on the clean table, and Jongdae could just see Luhan screaming in horror at the mess it could’ve been. “Don’t scare me just like that.” Her cheeks were red, and she sat back down, defiantly ignoring him. 

 

Jongdae slyly smiled. “I love scaring people.” He took off his glasses and wiped them, nodding at the blurry figure of Seulgi. “So what did the, hm,  _ bitch _ do exactly? Did you overhear her plans to destroy the student council and got yourself discovered eavesdropping?” 

 

Seulgi gasped. “Where did you get that idea?” Bingo. 

 

Jongdae snorted and put his glasses back on. “Just a guess. I’m right, though.” It wasn’t a question. 

 

“Hmp.” Seulgi raised her chin, exposing the lacy choker around her neck. “And why would I tell you? You’re slaving me here when instead I could be at soccer practice.”

 

This girl was such a piece of work. “You dragged yourself into this mess, Ms. I-Want-To-Be-The-Vice-President-So-I-Struck-A Deal-With-The-Devil.” 

 

“Devil. Real cool nickname. What are you, some neckbeard? Also,” she paused and waved her hands in front of her face. “Your hair is offending my eyes. Make your curls apologize to me right now.” 

 

“Do you want to die?”

 

“I’d rather be dead than look at your hair for more than five seconds.” She turned away from his hardening jaw and focused on her work. 

 

“Then get out,” Jongdae simply stated. “And be done with the student council. I don’t know where you got the idea that you should be talking down your supervisors.” 

 

“Look at this!” she exclaimed. “You’re talking like you’re some hot shit.” 

 

Jongdae ignored that. “I have no need for you.”

 

Seulgi shook her head and bent down, getting the hidden soccer ball under the table. She threw the object at Jongdae, purposefully missing him by an inch. The ball bounced at the corner. “You’re good at hurting people with your words, but you can’t hurt me. I’ll make good use in the student council than you will ever be.”

 

The hedonistic streak inside Jongdae burned alive and he laughed at her face, which perplexed her. “Fine then. Prove yourself and do whatever it takes to thwart Suzy’s plans. I could really use some more entertainment.”

 

“Why do I have to prove myself to you?”

 

“Isn’t that what you’re doing in the first place? Proving yourself to be seen as a good student council officer? Same difference.” Jongdae leaned back on the wall and crossed his arms, examining her. “That’s my assignment.” 

 

When the girl hadn't made any notion to reply, Jongdae left, starting to see Seulgi in a new light. Maybe she did have some use. 

 

-

 

“Another one bites the dust,” the looming figure above him said, and Jongdae was forced to look up from his reading material, murderous gaze at the ready. He knew he should’ve expected for Luhan to corner him anytime soon. After all, Jongdae had chosen the same hiding spot. “Why didn’t his family press charges? What a bore.”

 

Jongdae tilted his head. “I guess you want me to do my vice presidential duties inside a five-by-nine cell?” 

 

Luhan must’ve mistaken Jongdae’s reply as an invitation to sit down beside him. The president then shook his head. “Jongdae, Jongdae, Jongdae. You are one lucky man. You got all these girls and guys hanging off of you and you’re currently at the top of the food chain. Well, next to me, at least. You should thank me for that.”

 

If Luhan was starting to think that Jongdae had any intent on thanking him, he’d be in for a big disappointment. “I don’t need them. You see, I’m still remembering the recent deaths that have happened around me.” 

 

Jongdae’s breath hitched when the other leaned closer, and he glared at Luhan as a warning. Luhan only smiled sleazily, and there was a glint in his eyes. “I could help you forget.”

 

Jongdae did the only logical thing he could do, and that was to send his book flying at Luhan’s face. “You’re disgusting. How many times do I have to reject you for you to get the hint, you cretin?" 

 

If anything, this only made Luhan get closer. He  _ knew  _ he was making Jongdae uncomfortable, that good-for-nothing. “I won’t stop ‘til I get what I want, Jongdae.” All pretense of niceness was gone from his tone, and Jongdae, for the first time, saw someone of his own likeness. 

 

“That’s something we’re similar in, at least,” Jongdae mustered. 

 

“Oh? But we’re similar in a lot of ways, Jongdae.” The expensive smell of Luhan was bothering him, yet he felt drawn to it at the same time. It smelled like magnolia, fresh and clean like a newly opened bar of soap. “We’re both handsome and rich. We both want power. We’re both cunning and hiding our very own secrets,” he whispered in Jongdae’s ear. Then he tore away slightly, half-lidded eyes staring right back at him. “I’m practically your equal. Except, of course, I don’t--”

 

“--Get away from me  _ right now _ ,” Jongdae snarled before this could go on any further. “Or you’ll regret it.”

 

Thankfully, Luhan stood up, grinning. His body blocked the sun, displaying a very ominous figure. “Friend or foe? Which one do you want me to be?” 

 

_ I was right about him. _ The same sickening feeling inside his stomach lurched, but he tamed it for now. 

 

-

 

“Thanks for working hard!” Luhan cheerfully bid goodbye. Yixing reached his coat from the hanger, complaining about some dance workshop he was late for. Jongdae slightly looked up from his laptop, fingers hovering the keys as he watched Yixing bow to the both of them goodbye. Once Yixing was out the door, Jongdae was struck with the realization that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get stuck in the room with Luhan for more than ten seconds. 

 

“Now, Jongdae--” There he went. 

 

“--President,” Jongdae cut off, precisely closing his laptop that moment. “I’ve arranged all the schedules for our class and the timeline for their shifts. May I go now?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he started packing, dumping everything in a hurried manner. 

 

Luhan only closed his eyes in defeat and scratched his head. 

 

Jongdae was almost at the exit when Luhan  _ just  _ had to say, “Wait for me, I don’t think the guard’s patrolling and it’s already late.” 

 

“Are you that worried about me?” 

 

“I’m just looking out for you.” Luhan winked. 

 

It was indeed very late. They had been working all afternoon, and Jongdae was antsy at all the study time he had missed. He still needed to revise that one chapter and there were a truckload of essays (read: 2) that demanded to be written. Jongdae almost jumped at his bike. Anything just to get away from the person tailing him. 

 

Said person came prepared. Luhan hopped on his mountain bike, grinning. “What do you know? It’s a good thing I brought my bike with me today. Let’s go home together--” He didn’t get to finish since Jongdae pedaled past him already. 

 

When he turned and saw Luhan gaining speed behind him, he sped forward, his calves grateful for the exercise. The streetlights blurred as Jongdae focused on the busy road. When he reached the crowded district, with all the nightclubs and hotels, he thought he finally lost Luhan. 

 

“Want to go for a drink?” Luhan halted beside him, amused expression in display. “I know this good place aro--  _ godammnit _ , Jongdae!” Jongdae snorted when he heard Luhan’s pleas as he left the other behind. 

 

However, he saw something that made the tires in his bike screech to a stop, and Luhan behind almost crashed onto him. But his attention was concentrated on a familiar face under the red glowing lights of a club. That nose couldn’t be mistaken anywhere. It was Zhoumi. 

 

But what was he doing here? He rarely saw the guy nowadays. Maybe he was out drinking with some friends, whatever adults did on a Friday night. Then the most outlandish thing happened. A sleek woman came out of the bar and, the next second, Zhoumi had his arms all over her, chatting with smiles on their faces.

 

Jongdae squinted his eyes.

 

“What, you know them?” Luhan asked, elbows propped up at the handle of his bike, observing the two as well. 

 

“My neighbor,” Jongdae answered. 

 

“Which one?”

 

It still disconcerted him, enough to get on his bike and pedal on his way home, ignoring Luhan’s question. When he arrived at his own neighborhood, his hair was a mess caused by the night breeze but he was as fast when he arrived knocking at Liyin’s door. 

 

When his neighbor opened the door, Jongdae first noticed the obvious wrinkles apparent on her face and all her other traces of fatigue he hadn’t seen there before. She was holding a video camera on her hands, and Jongdae vaguely recollected that Liyin liked videotaping. “Sorry,” she croaked. “I was in the middle of something. Do you need anything? It’s late.”

 

“I just came by to say hi,” Jongdae let out, standing on his tiptoes to get a good look at the inside of the house. “Is Zhoumi in there?”

 

Liyin, weirded out by the question for Jongdae never cared about Zhoumi’s existence before, answered, “He’s on a night out with some friends. Why?” 

 

Jongdae chewed over this and Liyin was still looking at him, perplexed. “Nothing, I thought I just saw someone who looked like him. How’s Zishan?”

 

Liyin rubbed her belly with her free hand. “She’s fine and on the way. We’re throwing a baby shower next week. You’re invited of course. Ask your mom as well.” That last request came out forced. Liyin never had a good relationship with Jongdae’s relatives anyway. 

 

“I’ll try.” Jongdae put a hand on the round belly. “You have a good family here, Zishan.” 

 

-

 

Jongdae sneaked a look around the party. Zhoumi, dressed formally as always, introduced his co-workers to his wife. One of them was the woman from the other night, showering Liyin with gifts and compliments.

 

Jongdae downed his glass of wine in one go. 

 

-

 

"Jongdae, can you pass the baby bottle, please?" Liyin requested frantically as she tried to hush the sobbing little baby in her arms. Jongdae wanted to cry with the baby; why was he roped into doing this?

 

It all started when Liyin phoned him to come over, while Jongdae was busy helping out in the kitchen. Zhoumi was out--he always was--and Liyin really needed some help with her newborn. It had been a few weeks since Zishan was born into this sad excuse of a world. Jongdae found no time to see the baby for himself. He wasn't really good with kids. Or anything overly emotional.

 

"Thanks a lot, Jongdae." Liyin smiled as Jongdae handed her the full bottle. "I'd ask Mrs. Park next door, but she couldn't walk yet after her surgery. Really, Zhoumi couldn't afford to take a day off."

 

The baby stopped her bawling when her mouth came in contact with the teat of the bottle. Her eyes weren't even open yet, something Jongdae couldn't help but admire. He'd do anything to close his eyes and never open them again, if that was what it took for him to unsee all the evil in this world.

 

Zishan looked so small and fragile. Liyin caught Jongdae looking at her too intently. "Here, Uncle Jongdae should hold her."

 

Jongdae refused by waving his hands. "Ah really, I'm content with just watching her. I'm afraid I'll drop her. I've no experience with children." Liyin pouted at this, while singing the baby who had Zhoumi's nose--he noticed--into sleep. A hammock was installed in their living room, laden with blankets and one miniature hotdog pillow that was Jongdae's gift. Liyin laid carefully laid Zishan down there.

 

"You have a good voice," he issued.

 

"You noticed?" Liyin giggled. "I was in a choir back in my high school days. Never really pursued it."

 

Just then Zhoumi arrived, clad in formalwear, and ignored Jongdae as he walked past him, stopping to kiss his wife's cheek. "You're early," Liyin said.

 

Zhoumi didn't say anything to that, stooping low to kiss the baby's forehead. It was actually the first time Jongdae had seen something akin to affection in Zhoumi's face. But then Jongdae remembered the other night-- _ that  _ was the first time, not this. His face darkened.

 

"C'mere, you." Zhoumi roughly took Zishan, which made the latter drop her bottle and start her crying frenzy again.

 

"She was sleeping!" Liyin winced.

 

"I just wanted to touch her." Zhoumi made cooing noises, which did nothing to silence the baby. Jongdae cringed.

 

Oddly enough, Liyin looked like she was worried Zhoumi would drop the baby or something. Her eyes were trained on his hands with deep concentration.

 

"You," Zhoumi gruffly called out to him. Jongdae's eyebrow rose up to his hairline. "Get out. You're making her uncomfortable."

 

"Uh?"

 

But Zhoumi had already back to cooing at Zishan, making the most ridiculous pouty faces. "Who's Daddy's girl? Who's Daddy's girl?" The angry cries of the child were of no concern to him, it seemed like.

 

At least Jongdae had an excuse to leave. His head was beginning to hurt. Liyin looked over apologetically for a brief moment, before her attention went back to the crying baby. "Just, Zhoumi, please, give her to me."

 

-

 

His peace didn't last long, for he was plagued by nightmares yet again. Terror seeped into his very bones as he was stuck replaying the same scene over and over again. The gunshot, the way he hobbled over to the little boy's dead body. And everytime he woke up, he would always turn to the lover of his nightmares, Moomin.

 

It wasn't enough. Moomin was impatient. He had to do his job. He had to cleanse this world of sin.

 

When it took a toll on his appearance, Jongdae started wearing some sunglasses, hiding his eyebags. He wanted to scratch his eyes out, tell them that no, they shouldn't be like this. They were ruining his face. 

 

"Jongdae, where are you going? Get some breakfast at least!" his mother called, but Jongdae dismissed her with a shake of his head, hugging his coat to himself. It was too bright outside, but every passing second inside the house suffocated him.

 

He found himself in the convenience store, an awful place to get breakfast, if he must say. Sehun saw him behind the counter, and he ducked his head to avoid Jongdae. Suffice to say, Jongdae was amused, too busy smirking at the boy's actions to notice the oncoming passerby. Luckily, he was alert and got out of the way, only mildly crashing with the other.

 

Remembering his manners, Jongdae bent down and scooped the spilled contents of the shopping bag the person had dropped, inwardly cursing that he had let them touch his body.

 

"I'm so sorry." Said offender was female, bowing profusely. "I wasn't looking at where I was going."

 

"It's fi--" Jongdae stopped in his speech when he saw who she was. It was Zhoumi's other woman. Instead of wearing a dress, she was clothed quite casually--if pajamas were any casual, that is. "It's me who was in the way. Hey, have we met? I think I've seen you around."

 

The woman was surprised at this, but she chuckled not long after, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. "You have, have you?"

 

"Yes!" Jongdae bumped his fist onto his palm, pointing a finger. "You're, uh, Zhoumi's... he was telling me all about you the other night." Now that he took a good closer look, he just realized that she may have the same Chinese blood as Liyin and Zhoumi. Interesting.

 

"Ah, so you know about Zhoumi." The woman smiled. "Yes, we're kind of acquainted." She moved slightly to the left so another customer could pass by. "Meng Jia. Although my appearance may not show that I am a doctor, I am."

 

"I think you look just right for six a.m." Jongdae cracked a disarming smile. "Are you gonna eat that for breakfast?" He was pertaining to the instant cup noodles she was holding.

 

Jia was confused. "I don't usually meet strangers who question my food choices."

 

"Let's start by changing the 'stranger' part then. There's this diner that makes great pancakes and I don't feel like eating alone."

 

"Look, I'm really flattered you'd approach me. I mean, most of the time I'm the one who approaches guys." She kept chuckling at the thought while Jongdae fixed her with a stare. "But I don't know, you look  _ really _ young. Are you even out of high school?" She was fixated on Moomin, who was not helping him display an image of an older man.

 

"As a 23 year old man, I'm flattered to hear that." Jongdae fully removed his sunglasses, black pits in his eyes staring right back at Jia, smoldering her with his gaze.

 

-

 

Luckily, the pancakes lived up to his promises, since he had never actually been to this diner before. Jia was swallowing them down as fast as she could, and when she saw Jongdae watching her, she coughed and sat back a little straighter. "You haven't told me your name?"

 

"It's Jongdae, but I'd sooner listen to you than talk about myself."

 

Jia nodded. "Right, you want to get to know about me. Why else would you take me out?" She gulped down her coffee in one ago, asking a waitress for a refill before continuing, "I'm 34, so older than you."

 

"Not that much." Jongdae drummed his fingers on top of the table, keeping his impatience at bay.

 

"Jongdae, now that my stomach's all filled up, I think I've realized my mistake. The truth is... I'm already in a relationship with someone." Her eyes filled with pity. "He's not much younger than me, like you. So yeah, I can't return whatever you're asking of me."

  
Jongdae feigned hurt. "Really? You could at least tell me about him, for the sake of my grieving heart."

 

Jia snickered, looking out in the distance from the glass window. "I don't think it's going anywhere, anyway. He already has someone else and just now... I can't talk about this." She was frowning and Jongdae was losing her.

 

"So, you're still somehow available for the taking then? I mean, if this guy can't leave his woman for you, then maybe you should go looking for other options." His understanding of love was limited, but he was hoping he was walking the right path.

 

"Easier said than done." She shook her head. Jongdae drank his tea, waiting for more. "I'm really attracted to him. Even though it's looked down upon by us doctors."

 

"Don't tell me, he's your patient?" Zhoumi with an illness? That was an interesting piece of information. Liyin never mentioned anything about that. Then again, she rarely talked about her husband around Jongdae at all.

 

"Yeah, so what?" Her fork clattered on the chinaware when she put it down a little too forcefully. "It was his wi--lover who recommended me to him. We're good friends, me and her. So I'm really guilty about it. But he's just... too vulnerable, you get me? I want to keep him and care for him, something his wi-- _ dammit _ , lover cannot do. He loves me more anyway; she's so boring."

 

This was fine. Jia was playing right along through the strings he was binding her in. But what kind of illness did Zhoumi have? That was the question. "Your, uh, lover's illness is that bad? How long is he going to live?" When Jia gave him a look, he grinned. "I need to know my chances here."

 

"You're cute, but that's not it." So  _ what  _ is it? "Oh right, I haven't told you what kind of doctor I am. I'm a psychiatrist, but enough about me. Let's get to know about Jongd--"

 

Jongdae stood up suddenly, making Jia's eyes widen. He grimaced. "I need to go to the bathroom." He didn't wait for her answer as he rushed inside the men's comfort room. Quickly washing his face, he found himself back to doing his habit of staring in the mirror.

 

"Bastard."

 

And then it was back, stronger than what it was before.

 

-

 

With himself jobless, Jongdae had to devote his time to his studies and student council responsibilities. He didn't quite like the idea of finding a new job and dedicating himself to it. At least his grades were top-notch as always, with Luhan being a little far behind. That thought alone made Jongdae genuinely happy, the only light in these days of darkness.

 

There were still the dark judging looks every student threw at him once in a while, but it died down when the school event became the talk of the town. It wasn't even supposed to be big, but of course Luhan had to hype it all up--typical of him.

 

"What are you doing?" he asked when he saw his supposed-to-be-at-the-photocopier girl not at the photocopier, but instead at the floor sneakily eating black bean noodles. Seulgi groaned when she realized she had been caught red-handed. "What about that assignment I've given you? Do you think we have the time to be slacking around?"

 

"Can you just chill for a sec? I haven't had lunch." Seulgi proceeded to slurp her noodles. "I've already photocopied half of them,  _ sir _ ."

 

"The  _ other  _ assignment."

 

"It's pretty much confirmed," she said through a mouthful. Gross. "Suzy plans to ruin the event and blame it on you people. Thank god I hate her because if not, I'd be joining her cause."

 

He sighed, irritated. "Get up." She begrudgingly did so, dragging her shapeless backpack. Jongdae pointed to the nearest trash can, because he could not stand the sight of people being lazy. She was making faces as she grabbed the photocopied papers and threw her noodles at the bin. "Let's go. I'm coming with you to make sure you're not gonna go eating again while at work."

 

"Yeah, yeah." Seulgi rolled her eyes.

 

They were well on their way without fighting--which itself was a whole new record--when they heard hushed voices crying out names of some people in the council. That made them stop in their tracks. Jongdae and Seulgi looked at each other, and Jongdae put a finger to his lips. It was Suzy's voice; she wasn't very careful at being silent.

 

By the tinted window, Jongdae sneaked a look between mentions of "destroy Luhan" and "be careful of his vice president". There were a bunch of guys gathered around her, no doubt some of them her admirers she managed to string along. They looked like the type to kiss her feet and call her "queen".

 

"Remember that Seulgi girl? We should--" Jongdae was nodding thoughtfully while listening when Seulgi started to drag him by his arm. 

 

Something inside him snapped at the touch. "LET. GO. OF. ME." Seulgi almost stumbled back when Jongdae harshly removed his arm from her grasp.

 

She didn't look bothered in the slightest, though, as Jongdae rubbed the spot. "We should tell Luhan!" she harshly whispered, tossing Suzy and her band of hooligans a dirty look.

 

A shadow moved from a corner, so swift and agile that Jongdae almost didn't notice it. He caught the whiff of a familiar perfume though. So he assured Seulgi instead, "I think he already knows."

 

Seulgi frowned. "What should we do?!"

 

_ We _ ? Jongdae snorted. "Aren't you the one assigned to this task and not me?" With that, he left her standing there red in the face. She could do the photocopying herself.

 

"...really," he vaguely heard her say. "Why do people like that jerk?"

 

On his way, he had almost bumped onto a hurrying Jongin. (Thankfully, he didn't. One touch was enough.) On his hands were the most offending sight Jongdae could set his eyes on, two cups of coffee. "What are those for?" he asked, curious.

 

Jongin looked too ashamed to answer. "Suzy ordered me to get some."

 

"What are you, an errand boy?" he scoffed. Jongdae really hated it when people let themselves be dragged by others. Well, it was okay if it was Jongdae doing it. But still, something about it set something on his nerves. Especially since it was Jongin, who had 'errand boy' written visibly on his face. "I'll do it. Go." He reached for the ugly cups.

 

Jongin quizzically handed him the cups of coffee. "I can do it, Jongdae. She just happened to pick me because I wasn't doing anything."

 

"Now I'm telling you to do something. Leave," he said, shooing him off and entering the room Suzy was in.

 

It was just as dark inside as it was when he was peeking through the window. Suzy stood up so suddenly her chair rattled, shocked to see him there. Jongdae closed the door with a backwards kick, the sound sending Suzy's men into guard.

 

One look from Jongdae and all of them bolted out of the room.

 

"Let's talk." He smiled and offered her a cup.

 

Suzy, skeptical, took it with trembling hands.

 

Not bothering with small talk, Jongdae went straight to the point. "Let's not pretend I'm here for reasons other than this whole 'wreaking havoc' plan you have. Suzy, if you, how d'you say,  _ shit _ on the event, you'll be getting more than what you bargained for." How nice of him to warn her off like this. Who knew what Luhan would do, anyway.

 

Still intent on using her image, she batted her eyelashes and smiled sweetly. "You shouldn't get involved, vice pres. Run along now because truthfully, it's only Luhan I want to take down."

 

"You and me, both," he said, which immensely surprised her. "Though for you, this isn't the right time. You'll only be wasting your life with this sad attempt."

 

Suzy dropped the innocent act, then, eyes flashing angrily. She crushed the now empty coffee cup in her hand and let it fall to the floor. "Don't talk like you know anything about my life. Do you know that my chances of getting into a good college were dependent on that presidential position? I worked so hard for everyone to like me!" she cried and Jongdae could relate to that last one. "Then that Chinese exchange student came and ruined my future." A tear escaped from her right eye and she harshly wiped it off, now staring at Jongdae ominously. "You know what? If you hate Luhan so much, you should team up with me. We'd be unstoppable, Kim Jongdae."

 

"Ah, I shall pass on the offer." His leisure time was over and done. Jongdae stood up slowly and showed her the doll he was holding. "I already have a partner."

 

"Are you... are you making fun of me?!"

 

A master of unanswered questions, Jongdae chose that time to leave her. Jongin was leaning against the wall outside, having heard everything. A lazy smile was on his face and it  _ did. not. suit. him. at all. _ "You're weird."

 

Whether he was talking about the doll or the whole Suzy debacle, Jongdae didn't want to know. "Listen to me, Kim Jongin. Don't ever work for anyone ever again."  _ Except if they were me. _ "And wipe that smile off your face. It's not good on you."

 

Jongin only extended it, much to Jongdae's chagrin. "Hm, I really volunteered to help for some extra credit. But thanks for doing that for me, anyway."

 

Had Kim Jongin just lied to him about actually volunteering and not being a lazy-fuck up like he said earlier? Pigs must have learned to fly by now. Maybe Jongdae was rubbing off on him. "Don't flatter yourself. I didn't do that for you," he said, huffing as he removed his trenchcoat, suddenly feeling so warm. "Walk with me. I need some fresh air."

 

"But I thought I wasn't supposed to abide to anyone's orders?"

 

"Except me, okay? Except  _ me. _ " Jongdae made sure he got the point across and he took Jongin's smile as acceptance to his request. Why was he being so irritating today anyway?

 

After walking in a comfortable silence around the whole school, Jongdae, tired, stopped under the school field's wooden bleachers. It was another one of the hidden places he could've used to run away from Luhan. But it was such in a close vicinity to the soccer field that he didn't take any chances. Packs of cigarettes were strewn all over the floor, along with different sized used condoms and some more trash.

 

They sat in a fairly clean space, a couple of inches away from each other. Jongdae dabbed his sweat with a tissue. "Have you read the book?" He didn't know why he wanted to talk to  _ Jongin _ of all people. Maybe going crazy was a side effect to his withdrawal of killings.

 

Jongin’s eyes lit up at the question, bliss evident that he had asked. "I'm not finished yet but I'm invested in it. I'm not sure if I can finish it as quickly because I have a lot of stuff I need to do. But I like it, it really makes you think how far one person can go to do something for someone. The main character wants to live in a fantasy with his neighbor and her daughter. I'm really excited because it's not like those mystery whodunnits among crime thrillers. You already know..." At this point, Jongdae had just tuned out Jongin's boyish voice and was just observing him.

 

"...you're not listening."

 

"What?"

 

Jongin sighed. "That was the most words I've ever said to someone in a single succession."

 

"Oh, really. I should be proud then."

 

"But you didn't eve--" They were interrupted by footsteps and no sooner than later, a couple hand in hand checked to see if the place was empty. They must've recognized who Jongdae and Jongin were, because they were whispering to each other when they left quickly.

 

Jongin was frowning. "I've heard about this online poll through Baekhyun. He wasn't really, uh, happy as he talked about it. Said it was all Luhan's fault. But apparently I'm involved? And now people are starting to look at me. I'm uncomfortable." Jongin must've realized he was blabbering, for he shut his mouth tight after.

 

"It's not you, it's me." Jongdae raised his head. "I thought you would've noticed by now, but I'm kind of amazing. So hanging out with me gives you that exposure." He loved it when people duly noted about how amazing he was. Now they were talking about how  _ terrifying _ he was. Same difference.

 

"You and Luhan..." Jongin started, looking like a little lost boy. He always did. "...you guys have a thing?"

 

"What?  _ No. _ That's gross."

 

"He seems to like you."

 

"If I liked you, will we be automatically having a "thing"? I don't think so."

 

Jongin was flustered, nervously fumbling with his rolled up sleeves. "You guys are always seen together."

 

"You mean the times he has stalked me." Jongdae shivered slightly. "Stop it. Don't talk anymore."

 

"He seems really nice and harmless."

 

Jongdae laughed at that. This kid was such a bad judge of character. "Trust me, he's far from that." So was Jongdae but he didn't want to ruin his good boy image to Jongin so quick.

 

"Or that Seulgi girl," said Jongin, nodding in thought. "She's always at your heels. Like... Jongdae, I'm not going to judge you if you ever date again."

 

"Can you stop worrying about who I'm dating? Because I won't date anyone. Ever." He had never loved and he was starting to think he never would. That was all fine to him, though. Everything about his life should only focus on himself. "Once was enough."

 

Through the cracked entrance, a hard wind blew that swayed the tall trees and Jongdae's perm almost off of his head. Moomin was carried by the wind in the process, thankfully landing on Jongin and not on some god-forbidden condom wrapper.

 

Jongin offered it to Jongdae. "Here."

 

Just then, a vivid image accompanied by a swirling headache popped up. A boy holding the same doll was in Jongin's position, arms extended towards Jongdae. It only passed by a second, because when Jongdae blinked, it was Jongin looking at him with worry.

 

He was deluding himself. For a moment, Jongin had looked like the boy in his dreams.

 

"Is everything alright?" Jongin rushed over to Jongdae's aid, about to pat his shoulder but then stopped himself just in time. Jongdae looked at the hand that almost caused him harm, and Jongin dropped it, muttering an apology.

 

Jongdae took a deep breath and grabbed Moomin from Jongin. The heat was getting to him. "I'm alright. Let's talk some other time." And he left.

 

-

 

Liyin's smile became even more strained each passing day, Jongdae discerned.

 

And then one day, she just stopped smiling.

 

"I think," said Jongdae just because he thought maybe he didn't need to do it. "I need to tell you th--"

 

"--Dont."

 

-

 

Jongdae felt himself being slammed against the cold tiles of the bathroom wall, and he cried out in pain. Pain for his back and pain for the hold Zhoumi had on him. Zhoumi was only a few inches of him, forcing Jongdae to look at his fiery eyes while he grabbed onto his collar. "You nosy son of a bitch!"

 

"Let go of me, please," Jongdae offered nicely.

 

"You fucking  _ know _ !" He spat on his face. "If you know what's good for you, you better shut up that mouth of yours. If Liyin finds out... just what made you think you can pull up that shit?" It was coming, the punch they both knew was bound to happen. But at the last moment, when Jongdae was closing his eyes and thinking about the measures he needed to fix his face after this, Zhoumi loosened his hold.

 

Zhoumi used his free hand to massage his head, mumbling, "No... no... that won't happen... no..."

 

This gave Jongdae an opportunity to kick Zhoumi away from him. He wouldn't let someone so vile touch him. The elder oddly didn't react to this. But he kept mumbling, and within a second, crouched down on the floor, fisting a good lock of his hair. "No, no, no."

 

His other hand was patting the floor, searching for something. Jongdae spotted it easily, the medication bottle lying at the bottom of the sink. He reached for it but instead of aiding the jittery Zhoumi, he scanned the bottle and immediately recognized what it was used for. Zhoumi had schizophrenia.

 

And now he was grinding his teeth, still mumbling his "no"s. Jongdae gave him one last look before leaving the bathroom, medication left helplessly on the floor.

 

Jongdae made his escape when Liyin ran to the bathroom, remaining unseen as he climbed out of a window. She let out a deafening scream, no doubt having found Zhoumi in his pathetic foetal position.

 

It suddenly all made sense. With the help of Jia, he had now finished the puzzle. Jongdae clutched Moomin, marvelling about how great of a find this was.

 

-

 

Jongdae leaned back into the soft cushion Baekhyun had in his living room. Said person was a good distance away from Jongdae, with his tongue down Zitao's throat. Somehow, after all those months, these two had finally admitted their attraction for each other. It was making Jongdae sick how he had to announce his presence everytime he entered a room so that he wouldn’t catch them making out.

 

Yixing and Jongin were in front of the big screen, PS3 controllers in their hands as they played Tekken. Jongin was on a winning streak, that big geek. He knew all the combos and strategies that not even one of them could make him cower in defeat.

 

"This isn't fair. Someone get him off," Yixing complained, but no one listened. Jongdae was too busy with his book, Baekhyun and Tao were too preoccupied with each other, and Luhan was in the kitchen. (What went through Baekhyun's mind to invite him anyway?)   
  


Almost on cue, Luhan appeared carrying a bowl of chips. "Fine. I challenge you, Kim Jongin. If I win, you'll have to talk to me privately."

 

_ Interesting _ , Jongdae thought privately, eyes still memorizing each line of his book.

 

One of Baekhyun's feet, in the middle of the couple's makeout session, accidentally kicked one of the pillows onto Jongdae's chest. In turn, Jongdae sent his book flying straight onto Baekhyun's head. ("Ow!") "Oops, my hand slipped," he said in a low-pitched, crude manner.

 

Baekhyun almost jumped into Jongdae. Only almost, because Tao fortunately realized how that was a bad idea and stopped his boyfriend from doing so.

 

"I told you to kick  _ him _ off, not me," Yixing whined with his hands on his hips. "Whatever, I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

 

Jongdae, bored and registering at this moment that he'd rather not watch Luhan for the next few minutes, followed suit. Yixing expressed his adoration at the homely kitchen. "Wish I could have Baekhyun’s grandma as my grandma instead. Just look at this!" He was pertaining to the fine pieces of silverware kept in a cabinet. "You going to help me?"

 

"Depends. What're you cooking?"

 

"Tao brought some groceries earlier." The tip of his thumb was pointing at the plastic bags set up on counter. "Before you guys arrived. Some simple fruit salad would do."

 

"Now that I think about it, I can't really cook for shit."

 

Both of them smiled as Yixing aimlessly threw an apple at Jongdae. "Get out!" Yixing said, none all too committal. He slipped on an apron he found slung on the refrigerator door. 'KISS THE COOK' it said, with a cartoon drawing of a grandma pouting. Yixing turned back to him, a dimple on his cheek. "You and Jongin..."

 

"Hm?" Jongdae encouraged, bouncing the apple up and down his hand.

 

"I just want to thank you for opening his heart. He wasn't this socially open when he and I started out as friends. I think you did the trick." Yixing was assessing him, waiting for a reaction.

 

Jongdae frowned at the cheesy choice of words. "Huh."

 

"He's learned not to be so anxious around people. Look, he's even joking with Luhan now."

 

"That's a bad thing, I'm telling you." Jongdae paused. "What do you think Luhan wants from him?"

 

Yixing shrugged, attention fixed on the mangoes he was peeling. "The only thing I know Luhan wants is you."

 

That didn't comfort him in the slightest. "Luhan wants power more than anything else. If he has me, a.k.a the most wanted and the most accomplished guy in school..." He paused to give Yixing a piercing stare as the other was restraining a guffaw. "...He'll be one step closer to dominating the whole school."

 

Yixing smirked, so unnatural on his face that Jongdae had to squint to see if it was real. "You're clever, Jongdae, you know that? Do me a fa--" The sound of a whooping victory cheer coming out of Luhan's mouth was enough to silence the whole house.

 

Jongin disappointed him.

 

They toasted to the school event's success that night, glasses clinking under the light of the chandelier. Apparently, all the tickets were sold out and a total of 3000 people would be coming. That was a lot of people. A lot of distraction.

 

They end the night with a horror slasher film. The drama queens Baekhyun and Tao kept screaming every 10 seconds, huddled together with a blanket. Jongin had fallen asleep halfway, head bobbing up and down. Yixing was making commentaries about the movie even more frequently than the drama queens' screaming. ("Don't go up, you stupid!" , "Why isn't Jessica dead? She's such a burden.") All of them had fallen asleep soon enough as soon as the credits rolled, with the exception of Luhan and Jongdae.

 

Jongdae pretended he was asleep so he didn't have to talk to that waste of space.

 

"I know you're awake." The creepiness in Luhan's voice kept him on edge. "If you don't want to get jumped on, you need to follow me."

 

Jongdae reluctantly went to where Luhan was, annoyed. The second floor balcony gave a majestic view of the night sky and the houses it overlooked. Jongdae crossed his arms, waiting for the other to talk.

 

"Are you not gonna ask what I told Jongin?" Luhan propped up his elbow in the railings.

 

Oh, the temptation to just push him off. "Where are you getting the idea that I care about what you both say to each other?" Because he didn't.

 

Luhan ignored this, staring off into the distance. "I have a big surprise at the end of the event that not even Suzy could ruin."

 

"Woe is me, because I don't care." His eyes betrayed his suspicion though, because as a lover of information and knowledge, Jongdae didn't like surprises.

 

Luhan winked at him. "I'll show it to you first. I think it's only appropriate."

 

-

 

For the student council, this day was the most important day of the entire school year, the key to proving that Luhan's cabinet members were not just names he chose. It should also be  important to the vice-president, right? . But no, Jongdae was feeling like the apocalypse was upon him.

 

First, it was too hot. He hated the sun, wished that he could just crush it into oblivion. If anything could be hotter than the sun, it would no doubt be Jongdae's patience.

 

Second, everything and everyone was being too loud. Granted, it was the school event that housed 3000 people, but they should at least try to keep quiet whenever Jongdae passed by their area. Plus it was getting tiring having to calculate the meter-long distance he had to implement just to not bump into people.

 

"Whoa." There went offender number 45 in his list, corndog in hand and almost tripped in front of him. Jongdae shot him a rightful glare.

 

At least the advertising and PR had done a good job at spreading the word around. Not only were there a lot of people, but the booths weren't lacking. People would see a different one no matter where they went. Right now, Jongdae was menacingly eyeing the group of girls singing their hearts out in a karaoke booth.

 

Seulgi, that insolent ape, was nowhere to be found whenever she was needed. That meant  _ now _ . He even gave her his number out of necessity, but that clod never used it to communicate with him. His patience with her was running thin, and if it weren't for the sole reason that she provided him entertainment from time to time, he would've gladly kicked her out of his life for good.

 

"Jongdae!--" Someone shouted from behind.

 

"--Stop right there!" He immediately did a 180 and pointed at Yixing, who had his hands up. Jongdae quickly measured the distance between them and deemed it acceptable. He smiled, kittenish. "What's up?"

 

Yixing was still somehow surprised, only dropping his hands after a few passing seconds. "Uh, it's your turn in the attendance booth. There aren't a lot left. Just a few people who came in late."

 

At least when seated inside the booth, no one could get close to him except for Yixing, who was taking raffle tickets of the people queued up in his line. Jongdae nodded at the next person in his. "Name. Class. Reason why Kim Jongdae is awesome."

 

"Uh, Kim Jongin from 3b and uh, you're cool?"

 

Yixing chortled as he deposited a ticket into the striped container, thanking the person in front.

 

Jongdae ticked Jongin's attendance on the paper and then looked up. No words had come out of Jongdae's mouth as he wanted to ask Jongin how he had put himself in such a predicament. To put it simply, Jongin was dressed up as a book. It wasn't even subtle, he stuck out like a sore thumb and everyone at the booth was looking at him. This didn't do any favors for Jongin's social anxiety with the boy looking down at the ground.

 

"You're dressed up," Jongdae stated. "As a book."

 

Yixing chuckled nervously. "Didn't you know it was bound to happen soon? Jongin's ultimate wish is to become one with a book. Well, Jongin, sign your ticket." He waved the raffle in the air and Jongin took it, unsure.

 

"What are the prizes?" Bookman asked in curiosity.

 

"Consolation prizes range from two hundred thousand to five hundred thousand won. Third place gets the newest Samsung phone. If you hate Samsung, then you’d better start praying for second place because you get an Apple watch. First prize is a date with our one and only president, Luhan!" He said this all so enthusiastically that Jongdae almost got tricked into thinking the first prize was the best one.

 

Jongin visibly blanched. "None of those are really appealing. I think I'll..."

 

"...But wait, there's more!" Yixing hastily intervened. "One of the other prizes is a discount coupon to the nearest bookstore."

 

Jongin slammed down his fist with the already signed ticket, making a few of his pages ruffle and hit the person behind him in the face. Jongin apologized profusely before getting dragged forcefully by the arm by someone who was dressed up as a tree. ("What have they done to be subjected to such an embarrassing ordeal?" Jongdae rhetorically asked Yixing.) Jongin bowed to them both before disappearing.

 

After the line thinned, with Jongdae impatiently checking his watch and then looking around for any sign of Seulgi, Yixing arrived with two lemonade sodas and offered him one. "It's so hot outside, christ." The sound of the soda sizzling as the bottle opened was pleasing to Jongdae's ears. "Why're you even wearing  _ that  _ in this weather?"

 

Jongdae's getup was a black pea coat with his plaid shirt tucked inside. His skinny jeans hugged his legs quite comfortably when seated. It was reasonable that Yixing would find it odd that he'd worn such clothing and then complain himself about the weather. "I'm, at least, not in a hideous costume that could potentially ruin my good image."

 

"You make a good point. Why don't you just unbutton your coat though?"

 

He was saved from answering when out of the corner of his eye he spotted a familiar face among the crowd. Jongdae recognized her as one of Seulgi's underlings. The one who wanted to touch Moomin, he recalled as he hid the doll from her view. "Hey, you! Come over here."

 

At first, the girl wasn't sure it was her he was calling forward, so Jongdae repeated, "Yes, you with the stupid look on her face. I said come over."

 

"Stupid, really? What do you want?" She narrowed her eyes.

 

"Give me Seulgi's number." Since she wasn't going to contact him, necessary measures needed to be done.

 

"Um, give me a reason on why I should?"

 

The 'Because I'm Kim Jongdae' card probably wouldn't work so he had to resort to other means. "Yixing here wants to get to know her."

 

"Wh--" Jongdae's eyes widened knowingly at Yixing before the latter could protest.

 

Much to his surprise, it worked on the first try. "Really?" The girl put her hands together and squealed. "We've all been waiting for ages for someone to make the first move! Yixing, was it? I'll give you Seulgi's number."

 

Yixing bowed with the most perturbed look on his face, yet still managed to smile. "S-sure, she's a lovely girl, that one."

 

After all the awkwardness, the girl enthusiastically gave Seulgi’s number to Yixing, which he answered in kind by giving his own. As soon as the girl left, Jongdae snatched the little scribble of Seulgi's number and threw Yixing a small grateful look. Now this wench was going to get it. How dare she make Kim Jongdae wait?

 

His efforts were futile, as the call went straight to voicemail. Seul-Incompetent-Gi was supposed to help him make rounds around the booths to see if everyone was doing their job and on their rightful shifts. Groaning, he excused himself and went back to Distance Calculator Mode and set forth to the first one on the list, the Kissing Booth.

 

His own class was in a frenzy by the time he got there. The queue was filled with bubbly girls waiting for their turn. The front of the line had an ahjumma leaning closer to who he recognized was Jaebum, who was trying to lean as far back as his chair could handle.

 

But alas, Jaebum's chair gave away and he fell back, destroying the booth sign in the end.

 

"Jaebum!" Their class president, Seohyun, cried and struggled to push him up.

 

The ahjumma got her kiss, anyway, leaning down and imprinting red lipstick on JB's poor victimized lips, then skipped happily over to another booth. JB was at his wits' end, tears threatening to spill out. "Am I done yet?!"

 

"10 minutes," Jongdae replied, ticking his name off the list. JB groaned and looked at the growing queue.

 

Jinyoung, Jaebum’s best friend, appeared out of nowhere and caught Jaebum in a headlock, and Seohyun struggled to try to get them away from each other. "All the hot girls are at our station!" he bragged and pointed on a nearby car wash close to the parking lot where most of the boys and girls were half-naked. Maybe Jongdae should check on them last, preferably with all of them clothed.

 

Jongdae headed on to the next class, which was Baekhyun and Tao's. It wasn't exactly an eye-opener that they had chosen to go with a maid cafe. The shocker, though, was Baekhyun coming out of their makeshift shop in a sultry maid costume.

 

_ Thank you for adding fuel to my nightmares, Byun Baekhyun,  _ Jongdae thought with a grimace.

 

"Jongdae!" Baekhyun waved as he saw him, but seemed to catch himself just in time to bow. "I mean, uh... young master. Would you like to come in?"

 

"I need to check all your staff." Jongdae was glad to be saved from looking at such an atrocity. He checked the checkbox next to Baekhyun's name, while inwardly praying that Tao wasn't in such costume as well. He went past Baekhyun without another word, with the latter pouting at this. ("I was waiting for that fucker to tell me I looked good," Jongdae had heard from behind.)

 

At least Tao was in a butler costume, tray in hand and gloves eerily similar to Jongdae's. He did a bow similar to Baekhyun's and was about to take his order when Jongdae stopped him. There were a lot of customers inside the small shop, which was starting to look borderline crowded. Which meant it was probably best for Jongdae to get out as soon as possible.

 

After making sure everyone was in their proper places, he hurriedly exited before Baekhyun could catch him. Next was 3b. Jongin's class, if he recalled correctly. They were located at the school theatre, because surprise surprise, they were doing a play. And they were doing so horrendously, Jongdae observed as Suzy, who was dressed up as a princess, struggled to remember her lines.

 

Jongdae leaned against the entrance and was weirdly captivated to watch how the catastrophe unfolded. Barely anyone remembered their lines, and some people from the audience were leaving. The cast were all supposed to be inanimate objects, except for Suzy.

 

When Jongin started singing as he ruffled the pages of his book, Jongdae decided to leave the mess.

 

Once again, he dialed Seulgi's number but still, no one answered.

 

The 'main event' was set up to happen in the lower quadrangle, where there were a lot of food stalls instead of student booths. There was an assigned lunch break for all the student body so that they could participate in the raffle drawing and the game. When Jongdae got there after the exhausting trip around the whole school, he found Luhan in a conversation with some important people.

 

Luhan saw him and beckoned him over. Jongdae only complied because he was curious about those strangers. "This is Kim Jongdae, my vice president," Luhan said. "Mother, he's the one I'm talking about."

 

Luhan's mother looked elegant amidst the horde of students surrounding them. She smiled icily, dark lips stretching into a menacing grin that could only be seen as polite to outsiders. But Jongdae knew how to spot such people in disguise. "Hello, Jongdae. I hope my son hasn't been much of a burden to you?"

 

Oh, if only she knew. "He's fine so far."

 

"Of course he is. The family's name is in his care."

 

Luhan leaned in close and whispered to his ear. "Come meet me in the student council office in an hour." Now why would he do that?

 

Bowing his goodbye, Jongdae left them, hopefully with good impressions, and proceeded to the entrance. He was considering getting a corndog. It was convenient; the stall was nearby, after all. That, and the last food he had eaten was a protein bar for breakfast. A corndog sounded like a decent pick, but maybe it was just because his stomach was really hungry. He rarely ate outside his home and the cafeteria.

 

The entrance, which also served as an exit, was just to his right. He could go now, but he probably wouldn't be able to run off without causing a ruckus.

 

Thank god Luhan had given the guards off duty today. And he was even more thankful that it was Minho and Jonghyun -- or as he liked to call them, Dumb and Dumber -- who were guarding the gate. Jongdae approached the two who were joking around instead of checking the people's tickets.  _ Really. _

 

"Right. Your shifts are over," he said to them. "Take a break, it's lunch time. I'll just close the doors myself."

 

"Oh, shit, it's the murderer," Minho mumbled. Jongdae pretended not to hear.

 

The dumbos obliged soon enough. "Thanks, Jongdae!" Jonghyun called, already setting his eyes on a pizza stand.

 

Jongdae quietly removed his bike from the shed, careful not to be seen by the unclothed car washers, and snuck out of the gate as soon as he made sure no one was watching. This was the perfect time. He couldn't believe his luck. No, it wasn't luck but his flawless methodical planning.

 

He arrived not very long at his destination, using all the shortcuts he knew of. Clutching Moomin, Jongdae didn't bother to knock as he entered Liyin's house. The knife under his long sleeve was urging to be touched and used.

 

All the lights were out, maybe to reflect on the darkness that was Jongdae's soul? No one was even at the living room, except for the silent baby sleeping soundlessly in the crib. Jongdae looked over her. Such a small child, full of innocence and life. A child that was yet to be tainted.

 

This was going to be tragic.    
  


 

-

 

Liyin wiped the tears gushing from her bloodshot eyes. She threw the tissue straight to the half-full trash bin beside the television. It was her fifth rewatch of the same homemade video tape, the one containing their happy moments when they just moved into this new house. 

 

She and Zhoumi as a couple were as happy as they could be when they'd finally moved into the house, "curse" be damned. The rumors about the Lee Massacre that had flitted about did not deter them in the slightest. All they wanted was to be in a city close to Zhoumi's new job, as they are both country bumpkins and wanted to experience a new life.

 

They were  _ so so  _ happy. 

 

Just what went wrong?

 

On the television, Zhoumi, looking younger and more youthful, was helping some of the guys as they unload the boxes from the moving trunk. Liyin kept zooming in on his built biceps, chuckling every so often as she, complimented his form. Zhoumi kept pausing to sneak a glance at her and the camera, whistling a soft tune.   
  
A wave of nostalgia washed over Liyin, and she had to get another tissue to blow her nose.    
  
They'd been together for a long time. Liyin was quite sure it was love at first sight. She couldn't even count how many days they've known each other. Was that the reason why? The reason Zhoumi was getting tired of her? The reason the scent of alcohol sticking to the back of his teeth, transferring to hers whenever he forced his mouth on her own? The reason behind the forgotten dates and goodbye kisses on the way to work?   
  
She'd play it off as marriage blues, the kind every couple went through every now and then. She had confronted him about his growing alcohol addiction a few weeks ago, but all she ever got was a grunt and a pat on the back that was supposed to be reassuring. Panic swelled inside her when she realized that this was no simple issue. Something else was going on here.    
  
What did she ever do wrong? All she ever did was save Zhoumi. Maybe that was it. Maybe she was too busy saving Zhoumi that she forgot to save their own marriage. She saved him by recommending him to a psychiatrist as soon as she saw the changes to his behavior. The hallucinations at night, the hearing of voices and the like.    
  
She had saved Zhoumi a lot of times.    
  
An image suddenly flashed in her mind. An unread message from his old, cracking phone. The sound of the shower running, with Zhoumi humming the same tune all those years ago. Liyin sneaking a peek at his inbox. The dread that came after it.    
  
She felt the need to itch her already red forearm. Whenever she was upset, she had this habit of scratching her arms until they went raw and wounded. It was how Zhoumi always knew that something was wrong. He'd console her and they'd talk about it like the mature adults that they were.    
  
This time it was different.    
  
What did she need to get things back the way they were supposed to be?   
  
Their child. Their sweet sweet Zishan. The product of their love. What--   
  
Liyin stopped and immediately turned the television off, already at her feet. She noticed a presence inside the house. Who was it? A robber? Oh god, her baby— What if they had done something wrong to their child?   
  
Quickly she turned around, and was met by the disarming face of her neighbor, Jongdae. Liyin almost smiled, if not for the fact that there was something peculiarly different about him right now. He looked... eerily calm and just— how did he get inside without knocking at the front door?   
  
  
-   
  
  
"Moomin already killed them," he said matter-of-factly. He took a step forward, clutching the said doll with familiarity. This was it. This was his show. Everything else led up to this moment.    
  
Liyin could only blink from shock. She took a daring step back. "Wh-what?" Her trembling hands moved from behind her, searching for anything. Jongdae enjoyed how her emotions betrayed her portrayal of calmness, because he could very well see Liyin looking so lost and confused, maybe even horrified.   
  
Jongdae took another huge step forward. "I made Moomin kill them both. Your damned husband and his pitiful excuse for a lover — they don't deserve to live, Liyin." He flashed a smile at her, teeth glowing inside the dimly lit room. "Especially Zhoumi. He's unworthy of your love and of your child. Take Zishan and go. You both deserve better."    
  
And then there was silence.    
  
Liyin's ragged breathing became louder as she took all this information in. "You... you've got to be..." But when she searched Jongdae's face, she could tell that he was serious. Her face contorted into something horrifying, eyes going wide and a mouth split open to release a scream that would haunt Jongdae for the rest of his life. "No... no..." It was a second all too late for Jongdae to notice that the hands behind her back had found something. And it was going straight to his face. "What did you do to him! You  _ monster _ !"   
  
The lovely piece of a purple vase flew past his ducking form and crashed into pieces at the wall behind him. Oh no. This was  _ not _ supposed to happen. Why couldn't people see it from his point of view for once?! Why was willing to take back her husband, even after what he'd done to her? Jongdae's eyes blazed in anger.

 

"Liyin!" 

  
Jongdae ran around the room, narrowly missing a picture frame thrown by the screaming banshee that was Liyin. He could hear her screaming in agony, could see her pulling at her hair as she scrambled to look for something else to throw at him. Jongdae honestly thought that the last person who would go insane was his sweet, innocent neighbor, but not anymore. Her face was filled with fury. She wouldn't stop letting out shrill, piercing cries. And she wouldn't stop begging Jongdae to bring her husband back.   
  
Jongdae was more angry than scared. And it turned  _ really ugly _ when he's mad. He ran towards another room, a bawling Liyin at his heels.    
  
"Give him back to me!" Her voice had changed into something more gruff and raspy. From all the screaming she'd done in a span of 2 minutes, Jongdae wasn't surprised her throat was hurt and her voice was running out.    
  
Something was needed to be done. And  _ fast _ .   
  
"Stop right there!" Jongdae turned around as she shouted, holding something in his hands.    
  
And Liyin did stop from throwing a huge rock she got from their aquarium when she saw a just-woken up Zishan in Jongdae's hold. He was rocking it back and forth, mocking Liyin with the sight. "I'll give you  _ one last chance _ , Liyin!" he said, exasperated. His breathing came in quick gasps. It was time to end this now.  "You've made me angry, so you need to get out of here before I do something!"    
  
At Jongdae's shouting, Zishan started screeching, waving her tiny arms back and forth. Her mother retreated to the floor, her knees giving her away. Liyin howled, "Please! No more! Jongdae! Stop this please! I can't--"   
  
Liyin hiccuped and stretched her red arms forward. "Please? Give her to me?"   
  
Of course he lied about letting her go. He couldn't let her go now that she'd made him angry and ruined all of his well-thought out plans. But it was fun to see Liyin getting torn on what to do, especially with her child's life on the line.    
  
The baby only howled louder at the top of her lungs. It struck a nerve.    
  
Jongdae handed the baby over to Moomin. And just like that, the doll dropped the child headfirst onto the floor.    
  
"Tsk. So noisy," he added.    
  
He didn't knew what came first. The sound of the baby's neck cracking or Liyin's shriek at the sight of her baby getting killed right in front of her. She grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled them, all the while staring at the blood that was starting to ooze out from her lifeless child.    
  
Still in horror, Liyin didn't notice as Jongdae went up behind her back, twirling the knife that was hidden from his longcoat before. If this screaming didn't stop soon, the whole neighborhood would hear. And he couldn't have that. Not right now. "People like you," Jongdae whispered in her ear, though he doubted she would hear as she was too busy exhausting her voice from shrieking, "People like you who just  _ take it all _ shouldn't exist."    
  
One look at Moomin had his friend grabbing the knife and slashing Liyin's jugular in a swift motion. Blood sputtered out and tainted the walls and furniture.  Soon, Liyin was lying limp and lifeless on the floor, but not once did she take her eyes off her child. Not even as blood oozed out of her even more, not even as she died.   
  
Silence was thick in the air, with only the soft ticking of the grandfather clock shattering the stillness. Jongdae momentarily looked over it and checked the time. Any minute now...    
  
The expected opening of the door had Jongdae running downstairs, grabbing the knife and Moomin to see Zhoumi just opening the lock at the front door. With half-lidded eyes glazed with euphoria of what he had just done, Jongdae peered at Zhoumi, their eyes finally meeting.   
  
The other man's gaze went past his and fixed on the dead people behind him. The briefcase he was holding dropped in a single click.    
  
Jongdae stepped to his side, letting Zhoumi marvel at the sight of his dead family.    
  
"No... no... no..." Zhoumi’s voice cracked through the air as he sank to his knees, the same way Liyin did just minutes ago. Except he wasn't kneeling; he was flat on his stomach, collapsed on the floor. Never taking his eyes off of them, he slowly crawled towards the bloody figures of his family.    
  
He crawled to Zishan first, scooping her remains. Zhoumi then let out a bellow of agony as he hugged the child to his chest. "My baby! My child!" As soon as those words came of out his mouth, he let go of her and sat still.    
  
The next second had him looking at his bloodied fingers, and another ugly cry emitted from his poor, adulterer self. "You did this! You son of a bitch—"    
  
It took a second for Jongdae to realize that Zhoumi was talking to himself. Oh,  _ good _ .    
  
Zhoumi laughed. He was still crying, for the most part, but his body wouldn't stop shaking as he let bubbles of laughter spill from his lips. This guy— This guy was crazy, Jongdae thought. He watched him in awe as he witnessed one of Zhoumi's episodes, even dropping to Zhoumi's level to see him better. So he could lock his dreamy gaze onto the insanity in the other man's eyes.    
  
Jongdae then kissed him on the cheek, unfeeling. "You killed them, Zhoumi," he whispered, voice soft, almost comforting. "You and your adulterous ways. Why don't you just..." He carefully positioned the knife so it lay perfectly on Zhoumi's bloody hands. "...stab yourself?"

 

Horror-struck, Zhoumi gave the knife a once-over. It clattered as he threw it away. "I'm a murderer! I'm a... NO, SHUT UP!" His voice suddenly shifted to something gruff, a lot rougher. Zhoumi, in Liyin fashion, started grabbing locks of his hair and shaking his head frantically. "I'm a murderer!"   
  
Jongdae reached for the home phone, dialing the emergency hotline softly while smiling serenely. Everything felt at ease. He was enjoying every single second of this. Maybe this was what it felt like whenever his brother smoked marijuana, this feeling of happiness. He kind of liked it.   
  
"119, how may I help you?" the lady on the other end of the line said as she picked up. Instead of answering, Jongdae held the phone tightly close to Zhoumi, who was still chanting about the error of his ways and how he murdered his whole family. Jongdae let go of the receiver with a thud, and left the house entirely, never looking back.    
  
  


  
-   
  


  
  
Across the street, Jongdae quickly took off his clothes and, together with his gloves, threw them on the fireplace. No one was home at this time of the day. Clicking a button, he watched the deluge of flames burying all of his remnants of the crime. The fire cackled, giving his naked skin a warm reflection.    
  
He went to the bathroom next to wash and study his face. There were a lot of pimples and acne marks on his skin. His eye bags were dark and heavy. But past all of these, Jongdae saw someone perfect. A god. A god who had done another job well done for the sake of everyone else.    
  
Jongdae washed his hands off of the matter.    
  
  


  
-   
  
  
  


There were new guards situated at the entrance to the school gates. As life would have it, Jongdae still had the duty of being the vice president and, to prevent any suspicion, had to go back inside the school and continue managing the terrible event. The new guards, as he assumed, were dumb as bricks and didn't even give him so much as a second glance as he set forth inside.    
  
"Change of outfit?" He almost jumped, glaring at Yixing for the boy's sudden appearance behind him. His new outfit consisted of a casual polo and cargo shorts.  _ Meter long distance, Jongdae. Meter long distance _ , he reminded himself as he carefully stepped back. "They're announcing the winners for the raffle soon. And then Luhan's so-called—" Yixing air-quoted with his fingers. "'surprise.'"   
  
Jongdae nodded. He forgot all about stupid Luhan and his stupid surprise. He fanned himself, thinking that he still had five minutes to get to the student council. Jongdae didn't like how Luhan was getting his way on Jongdae, but oh well. He was bored anyway.    
  
Rolling his eyes, Jongdae entered the student council room, ignoring Luhan who was applauding his appearance. "The great Kim Jongdae makes it in time!" he announced, making a show out of looking at his gold wristwatch.    
  
Jongdae narrowed his eyes, locking the door behind him. "Why wouldn't I make it?"   
  
"Oh, I don't know. I was afraid you were already caught by the police."   
  
" _ What _ ."   
  
Luhan heartily cackled as he circled the round table, gliding his hands over the shiny surface. "Oh, I know all about you, Kim Jongdae. Do you think I would've even transferred to this boring school if I didn't know all about you? Everything, Jongdae.  _ Everything _ . You quirks, your little secrets, all your abnormalities, I know  _ everything _ about you, Jongdae."   
  
When Luhan stopped talking, Jongdae let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He cursed himself for getting into this mess, all the elation and adrenaline he had a while ago coming to a halt. He sat down on one of the chairs and urged for Luhan to continue, because  _ god damn it. _   
  
Luhan smiled with triumph and made his way over Jongdae. His gliding hands skidded to a stop in front of Jongdae's twitching own. Jongdae glared at him. "Your cute little fear of touching? Yeah, I know all about that, too. And I _ know _ that you killed your darling boyfriend Chanyeol."   
  
Jongdae's eyes thinned into crescents as he let out a mighty laugh at Luhan's accusations. "Let's say that I  _ did _ kill Chanyeol. Where, pray tell, is your evidence to prove that?" Although he sounded overjoyed, under the table he was curling his fingers into tight fists. Fists that would gladly punch Luhan's face.    
  
But Luhan was already opening his Macbook, amused expression never faltering. "Remember that one time I caught you out in the forest without Chanyeol knowing you were there? AKA  _ trespassing _ ?" Luhan cocked his head in the direction of the screen.    
  
Jongdae fixed his glasses and took a good look at it. It was  _ that _ day. He was standing with his back against a tree. The film was shot from behind, obviously by Luhan. In the footage, Jongdae was following Chanyeol's dad, who carried the bearded axe in his meaty hands.    
  
A flicker, then the image faded to black. That was it, the end of the video. Jongdae saw nothing else.   
  
"Is that all?" Jongdae asked, unimpressed. He should be informed of all of Luhan's cards before making a move. Truth be told, he was a nervous wreck inside. His insides were lurching and his fingers were cold and his knuckles ached. His worst fears were becoming realized. He was exposed to Luhan like an open book. His phobia, his escapades with Moomin… Maybe Luhan could even see behind this mask of apathy. 

 

Instead of answering, Luhan began typing at a furious pace. A vicious smile tugged up at the corners of his mouth, and  _ ugh — _ Jongdae did not like that playful smirk at all. Jongdae's heart raced in his chest, and for the first time, he was genuinely afraid of Luhan.

 

Luhan stopped, looking up at Jongdae. "You have your mother to thank for this," he muttered. "She gave you the idea of using disposable phones, no?"    
  
At the mere mention of his mother, Jongdae sat up straighter, face hardening. His family was on a whole another level hidden in his depths. To think Luhan would go that far.

 

"Is it a crime having a few extra phones now?"    
  
Luhan flipped the laptop so it was facing Jongdae. What greeted him was a record of someone’s phone activities, snap shots of call records, traces of what they’'d been doing the whole time. Jongdae stayed dangerously silent, and this seemed to fuel Luhan with even more courage. "These are your mother's official records. Says here—" He pointed towards a line, then continued "That someone called around the time Chanyeol died. Before his death or something. My 'friends' tracked the phone, and what do you know! The call was coming from the forest. Crazy, right?"   
  
Jongdae didn't know what to say. He felt too dumbfounded for words. He needed a new plan. His stupidity led him straight to Luhan's trap.   
  
When Jongdae didn't utter a word, Luhan went on to say, "I can see you're already planning a thousand ways to kill me inside your head. I've obstructed justice and disobeyed the law myself. My  _ friends _ made sure that the police wouldn't get a hold of this information. See what's so rewarding about working with other people, Jongdae? You should try it sometime--"   
  
"--What are your terms?"   
  
"Hm?"   
  
"You're telling me all of this for a reason. If you wanted to publicly expose me in front of the whole school, you could've done so already. So say it. I'll play along." Jongdae could feel the throbbing pain in his temples. Perhaps it was life's way of punishing him for his mistakes. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster. It was too much.    
  
Luhan closed his laptop, setting it aside after flimsily pulling off his flash drive. He kept his eyes on Jongdae the whole time. "Before we get to that, I want to know... why did you do it? Why did you kill Park Chanyeol? Was he that clingy of a boyfriend?"    
  
Jongdae sighed. "I didn't kill him."   
  
"We just spent the last five minutes disapproving that. C'mon, what's your deal?"   
  
Jongdae was telling the truth, though. Moomin did it, not him. He was only there to guide his friend. "I'm telling you I didn't kill him. I was just...  _ there,"  _ he reiterated. "And you want to know why? Because I felt like it." He propped up his elbows on the table, leaning closer to Luhan, taunting him with his hardened stare. "It gives me a feeling I've never felt before. I don't have any underlying reason besides that. It makes me happy and satisfied. Chanyeol just happened to be an easy kill. There aren't any personal reasons."   
  
Luhan's smile quivered. "I'm kinda confused. You say you're clean of misdeeds but you're talking like you really  _ did _ kill him." He shifted his gaze to the neatly stacked books on the upper shelf, next to some potted plant. Jongdae squinted until he could see a flickering red light. "You've probably noticed by now that this conversation's being recorded. Might as well go all the way, right?   
  
"Murdering innocent people gives you happiness, you say? Well, for me, watching you ever so lightly squirm in your seat, knowing that you've fallen right into my trap is enough to give me  _ everlasting bliss _ . I was right to choose you as my next subject.   
  
"There's only one reason why I'm risking of telling you all of this. Don't get me wrong; I'm scared of someone who has both the power and skill to kill people and get out of it harmless. But it'd be too boring to not get involved in such endeavors! So, I'm striking you a deal.   
  
"You see, I've completely fallen for the psychopath that you are. _ I want you to be mine _ , Jongdae. To love me back. That's all I'm asking. I'm not going to touch you, but I  _ will _ make you feel things."    
  
If he was talking about irritation, anger, disgust, then Luhan was already pretty darn successful in making Jongdae  _ feel those _ . Jongdae raised an eyebrow at his proposal, processing everything the other had just said.  _ What did I even expect _ , he thought to himself. He turned to Luhan, grabbing him by the tie to drag him closer, and said, "No one can know about this, ever."Sleep with one eye open,  _ my love _ ." He shivered all over. He felt  _ sick _ .   
  
Luhan's cheeks flushed pink, shattering the cool, scary image he'd been brandishing in Jongdae's eyes earlier. "You fell for my trap, Kim Jongdae," he hummed.   
  
_ No, you've fallen right into mine. Your first mistake was getting your sincere emotions mixed up in all of this _ . "Crazy bastard? You're not way off the spectrum." Luhan's sickening words still rung in his ears. To think such a deranged person existed.

 

Luhan reached out to touch the hem of Jongdae's newly worn shirt, feeling courageous enough. He was pushing it, alright. "Your girl — Seulgi, was it? She's in a really tight position right now."

 

Jongdae rolled the office chair backwards, uncomfortable and still unsure of what his next steps would be. Tilting his head slightly, he asked, "What did you do?"

 

"Oh nothing. Just a little game with your plaything. You've probably noticed by now but I love playing with people, especially with her sort." Luhan chuckled, getting off the table and gathering his things. "She's in the old school building right now."

 

"Am I supposed to do anything about that?" The last thing Jongdae wanted to do was to get soaked up in another one of Luhan's antics again. He already was in too deep with this one.

 

"No. She's the main prize to my game." Luhan looked smug. That was actually his  _ default  _ expression. Disgusting.

 

Jongdae straightened himself up, determined to leave. He had enough of Luhan today. "Aren't you just enjoying yourself?" he gritted out.

 

From behind, Luhan laughed even louder. "You're leaving already? And here I was hoping for more a little bonding time. Why don't you give me a kiss to seal our deal--"

 

Jongdae slammed the door on him.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


An hour later, Jongdae was sitting idly on one of the foldable chairs he ordered Minseok to get. He sipped on his drink as he watched Luhan get on stage set up on the center of the quad. Everyone's attention was on the masked magician costume he was wearing. Jongdae couldn't wait to find out what Luhan was up to again. (No, not really.)

 

It was time to announce the raffle winners. Luhan called out their names, speaking into his in-ear mic. Some senior named Lee Jonghyun won the first prize, which, for some reason, went from going on a date with Luhan to a simple ticket on a cruise ship. Luhan kept apologizing for the mistake, saying it shouldn't have been on the prizes. Beside Jongdae, Yixing was resisting to laugh.

 

"Now, on to the main event you've all been waiting for!" Suspense music started playing, and Luhan flicked his hair while raising his cape. "It's time for... the scavenger hunt!"

 

Jongdae could only roll his eyes from below, contrary to everyone's excitement. Still, he stayed in his seat as an instructional video played on the big screen. It was talking about how only students from their school could participate, and how only 30 pairs would be able to qualify for the actual activity. The pairs had to overcome different obstacles and challenges to get clues, and—

 

"Jongin-ah!" Yixing shouted from beside him with excitement, waving at the lone guy still dressed up as a book. Jongdae followed him with his eyes. "Let's partner up! And please change into something else!"

 

Baekhyun and Tao immediately reached for each other, holding hands and threatening anyone who got in their way that Tao was going to "run them over with his fancy sports car" if they ever tried to jeopardize the couple's victory.

 

"Hey Jongdae, aren't you gonna join?" Baekhyun asked when their eyes met. His fingers were still laced with Tao's.

 

"It's because he has no partner," Tao murmured.

 

Jongdae rolled his eyes. "I'm not joining this child's play. You guys go have fun. Oh, and even if you win, can you still run over Luhan with your car?"

 

The man in question flicked his fancy wand up the stage, prompting the display to change. Soon, the crowd was gasping, and Jongdae furrowed his brows at the commotion. He could make out a visual of Seulgi on the screen, duct tape stretched across her mouth and limbs bound by ropes. Her face was pale white. The room was too dark for anyone to be able to make sense of where she actually was. There weren't any clues or hints, nothing at all to help people find the poor girl.

 

"Oh." Baekhyun's face turned sour. "This is a little bit..."

 

"Please tell me this wasn't forced at all." Tao looked back and forth between a smiling Luhan and the screen. "I wouldn't put it past him." He was looking at Jongdae for an answer.

 

"What? Why me?"

 

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're part of the council who orchestrated this?!"

 

"We're not part of this. Don't worry." Yixing, the PRO, stated. "I'm sure Luhan and whoever planned this with him has it all under control."

 

"If you can find this girl under an hour you and your partner will receive a  _ big  _ prize!" Luhan said, voice thundering throughout the area. Jongdae rolled his eyes at this again, but doing so made him see out of the corner of his eyes an agitated-looking Suzy. Her face was all scrunched up in fury, not at all portraying the nice image she built up.  _ Guessing she wasn't also informed of this game _ .

 

A deafening shot of the gun signalled the start of the hunt. The teams began to run to the different challenges scattered all over the school to get their very first clue. Yixing and Jongin were already lining up for the three-legged race. Baekhyun and Tao were shouting at each other trying to solve a riddle to get past someone. Jongdae watched it all happen so fast.

 

Once the people at the crowd dispersed to their own business, Jongdae saw Minseok fawning over Luhan's costume off-stage. Luhan, clearly enjoying the praise and attention, laughed at something Minseok said. When he spotted Jongdae, though, he easily dismissed his friend and gestured for Jongdae to come over.

 

_ Ugh.  _ Jongdae would stay right where he was if he could, but they made an agreement. This was his part of the deal. He walked over, then, stopping short when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled up the message, then, and smiled as he read the contents of the text.

 

"Woah, that's  _ really _ creepy." Luhan was pertaining to his smile. "What does it say?"

 

"It says to mind your own damn business." Jongdae pocketed his phone. He could spot Minseok staring at the two of them, jaw hardening and a forlorn expression on his face, a few feet away. Jongdae in turn leaned over Luhan in an angle that made them look like they were kissing. Minseok shook his head and walked away. It was nice to rile people up sometimes.

 

"What was that for?" Luhan took his mask off, suspicious. "Did you plant a bomb on me or something?"

 

Instead of answering, Jongdae just smirked. Quite attractively, he might add, if Luhan stopping to stare was anything to go by. Jongdae inspected the countdown timer at the screen. Time was ticking. He peered at Seulgi's face, seeing that she was  _ actually  _ crying.

 

Luhan followed his gaze, locking onto Seulgi when he caught up. "I made a bet with her. If she gets caught under the time limit, then she can kiss her dreams of joining the student council goodbye. If no one finds her, though, then she'll... replace you..." Luhan poked Jongdae's chest with a fan he magically 'conjured', "...as vice president."

 

Jongdae swatted the fan away and sent it flying, surprising a few passersby who almost got hit. "Isn't that  _ nice _ ," he commented, drawling his syllables. "I don't care, either way. I'll be rid of annoying people whatever the outcome is."

 

"Have you actually grown to like Seulgi?"

 

"She wishes." The fact that even Luhan was insinuating that he could ever feel for someone so stupid as a human offended him.

 

Their conversation was quickly cut short when a blubbering Yuri almost doubled over them. "P-president!" Yuri shouted over the noise, eyes wide. "There's a problem! We checked on Seulgi and she's not there!"

 

Luhan's smile immediately dropped. He looked alarmed. That meant Seulgi wasn't at the old school building at all, where she was being filmed. "Who set up the cameras?!" he cried out, panic evident in the shake of his voice. "I said, who set up the—"

 

Jongdae tried to not let his smile show.

 

"I think Suzy did," Yuri provided. Luhan groaned and Jongdae had to turn away because he was mere seconds away from letting out the loudest cackle. He didn't get a chance to, for a scream erupted from the people behind them.

 

They all ogled at the screen. Seulgi wasn't alone anymore. A person with a black mask appeared beside her, carrying a whiteboard. The words on it said: IMPEACH THE STUDENT COUNCIL OR THIS GIRL DIES!

 

A few more seconds, and Luhan's mother and the principal were storming into the venue, rage and frustration written in the lines on their foreheads. Luhan didn't look far from angry, either. In fact, this was probably the first time Jongdae witnessed him flying off the handle. "What is the meaning of this?!" the principal said, voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His temples were lined with beads of sweat.

 

Luhan carefully pulled the corners of his mouth back up into a smile and let out nervous laughter "This is all part of the game, don't worry," he explained. "Give the audience a scare, you know? Excite 'em a bit?" Luhan quickly turned around and glared at Jongdae accusingly. "This is all  _ your _ doing, isn't it?"

 

Jongdae dug his nails into his skin. Luhan all worked up was a  _ sight _ to behold.

 

"President!" Yuri drew Luhan’s attention back to her. Some of the council members were gathered around them now. "What do we do?"

 

Jongdae snuck a glance at Luhan, then at the teams that had either stopped or pressed on, unfazed by the masked man, still dead set on winning. They had a total of 20 minutes left.

 

Luhan removed his cape and hat. "Find Suzy and bring her to me," he answered. Turning to his side, he added, "Jongdae, come with."

 

The rest of the council moved forward on his orders. Jongdae was forced to do the same.

 

"Chill," he said to the agitated president as he followed. "They don't have the guts to murder someone."

 

The other shot him a look. "Unlike someone I know."

  
  
  


-

  
  


The abrupt slamming of Luhan's hand to the table sent everyone jumping back. They were back at the student council room. The subject of interrogation was sitting quietly at the end of the table, with Minho and Minseok on either side of her. Suzy shook their hold off of her, all masks and pretense worn off. "I'm not afraid to kill, Luhan," she gritted out. "Give me the position."

 

Jongdae quielty reached for a book from his bag. This was getting boring.

 

"Scary," Luhan said sarcastically, eye twitching. The light from above was shining directly down on his face, giving him spine-chilling shadows that framed his unamused face. There were only ten minutes left. "You shouldn't carelessly say things like that. You're being recorded right now and if you don't  _ fess the fuck up _ where you hid that Seulgi girl, you're going to regret it."

 

Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows a little. What was with Luhan and his recording threats?

 

He didn't want to go through the pain of having to hear more of their conversation, so he slipped from the room to go looking for Seulgi. He knew where she was located, after all. With only a few minutes left, he hastened in his search, soon arriving at the locker room and spotting a familiar face.

 

Of course no one would find her here. Not with all the clues at the scavenger hunt being a red herring.

 

Jongdae kicked down the door, arms remaining crossed over his chest. "Play time's over,” he called out.

 

All the masked hooligans bolted up, standing at attention as soon as Jongdae walked into the room. One of them scratched his head. "B-but, Suzy said...?"

 

"Don't make me repeat myself," he said through gritted teeth, finality thick in the tone of his voice. Suzy's minions scurried out the room at that, scampering away the next second. Seulgi whimpered through the tape on her mouth. He paid the girl no mind, though, instead kicking the video camera in front of her to destroy it.

 

When he was sure the camera was already defunct, he moved to Seulgi and undid the knots in her binds one by one.

 

Seoulgi let out a loud gasp as soon as the tape was removed. "I thought—"

 

Jongdae motioned for her to stand up. He watched as Seulgi struggled to get back on her feet, knees shaking a little and legs feeling a bit too weak because of the sudden blood rush. At least she wasn't making Jongdae carry her or some shit.

 

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, exasperated.

 

Jongdae dropped his gaze to his wristwatch and smiled to himself. He was sure the could make it. "To where you  _ should _ be."

 

They both snuck towards the old school building, now giving off a haunted aura since dusk had befallen. Some of the students were leaving through the front doors, disappointed that Seulgi wasn't there. Making sure no one saw them, Jongdae situated Seulgi in a dark room and tried to tie her up without actually touching her.

 

That was when he felt it, a strange yet nice feeling as soon as he knotted two ropes. Tying someone up — it gave him a sense of superiority over the girl who was looking at everything but at him. Jongdae paused, looking into Seulgi's helpless eyes. He was enjoying this a little too much.

 

_ Two minutes. _

 

Jongdae quickly hid behind a dusty cabinet as soon as he heard footsteps growing louder.

 

"Okay, this is our last chance," came a familiar voice. It sounded like Tao.

 

"I'm pretty sure she's here. We checked all the rooms but here. If she's not... well..." Jongdae could hear Baekhyun's shrug. Jongdae sneaked a peek to watch both of the boys come stumbling inside, exhaustion on their faces. However, theirs quickly turned to glee when they saw the bound girl.

 

"Yes!" Baekhyun exclaimed while Tao hurried to untie her. Jongdae counted the seconds down his watch, covering his nose from the gathering dust that was threatening to make him sneeze and make his presence known.

 

Seulgi, despite that, stood there unmoving.

 

Tao grabbed her arm. "C'mon, you're going to make us lose! Oh no, sis. Not today!"

 

"I--" Seulgi peeped, gawking at the cabinet, looking like she was about to say something. She didn’t, but in a second, her eyebrows scrunched up in determination. Seulgi didn't wait for anyone and dashed outside. Baekhyun and Tao smiled at each other before running after her.

 

Jongdae clicked his tongue. "That girl has completely fallen for me." He tried not to hack himself to death when dust got inside his mouth.

  
  
  


-

  
  


News about Baekhyun and Tao's prize being two tickets to a trip on Jeju Island on Christmas Break surfaced. The extravagant win became a hot topic and made it to the headline of the school magazine. Luhan threw the first print along the table for the others to read, a triumphant smile on his face.

 

"A job well done." He was pertaining about the article on the school event on pages six to thirteen.

 

"But really, president!" Minho's eyes widened even more as he skimmed through the article. "You had us scared!"

 

Everyone erupted into many different sounds of agreement – a grunt, a high-pitched 'yeah', low laughter, and a steady 'mhmm' that quivered somewhere towards the end. No one said anything about the two vacated chairs on the council.

 

Jongdae rolled his eyes and grimaced when Luhan waved them off, saying it was nothing, they were fine, everything had already been take care of. "I suppose I should thank you for that," he whispered to Jongdae on his right. Jongdae inched away from him in distaste.

 

"How about a kis--"

 

"-- _ Great  _ work, everyone." Jongdae stood up, silencing them all. They all watched him rise with admiration on their faces, making Jongdae feel a little bit smug. He licked his lips, then, and added, "This team wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." No, it was really bad. First of all, why would they take their eyes off Seulgi long enough to let her be taken away? Jongdae felt thankful that he intimidated one of Suzy's minions enough to let him rat out her plans.

 

Speaking of Seulgi... "I gotta go."

 

They met at the track and field. Seulgi was sitting all alone in her spot, her usual gang of dirty soccer females nowhere to be found. She was looking out in the distance and didn't say anything as Jongdae sat beside her.

 

"I guess congratulations are in order," Seulgi said sourly. "Even though I got kicked out."

 

"You made the decision of getting them to win. You could've stayed inside that room for a few more seconds and you would've kept your position."

 

"I don't know if it's your stupid face or your sense of entitlement, but you managed to bewitch someone like me."

 

Jongdae's eyes flickered. "Are you confessing your feelings for me by saying I voodooed you? I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in you at all. Never have and probably never will. So, please, leave me alone."

 

"Are you kidding me?" Seulgi stood up and towered over him, blocking the sun. Her shadow covered the look of disapproval on Jongdae's face. "I'm not a quitter. I love challenges. I vow to make you mine, Jongdae. And when you do, I'll break your little cold heart."

 

_ Oh dear _ .  _ Not another one _ .

 

Something moved in the bushes behind them. Jongdae squinted but passed it off as nothing important.

 

"Even if it means having to fight the president!" Seulgi declared.

 

Jongdae just watched her ramble, unamused. Did it mean that Seulgi thought that Luhan and him were together? That wasn't good. Speaking of Luhan, he had to do something about that guy before it got out of control. He turned on his heel, then, setting off, and left a rambling Seulgi without another word.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"What the husband did to his wife and child is so, _ so _ sick!"

 

"He's being held in arrest now. Trial won't be in a few weeks."

 

"I hope he rots in jail. He doesn't deserve to be in an asylum!"

 

Jongdae's hand hovered over the bottle of ketchup as he listened intently.  _ Of course _ it was all over town. Rumors on why he did it circulated, most of them even theorizing that the baby was the catalyst of the horrors inside Zhoumi's head.

 

"That house is cursed," one of the ladies interjected. She pushed her cart past the whispering old women.

 

Jongdae shot them a dark, burning gaze, trying to make them shut up. He got the bottle and dropped it down his own cart, narrowly missing Moomin by inches. "Don't listen to them, Moomin," he whispered to his friend. "Your house is fine."

 

His mother had been in hysterics before he left the house. She kept complaining at the fact that they  _ interacted _ with the murderer across the street. Actually talked to them and their precious child Jongdae could've been the victim instead. What would happen to their family reputation now? It entertained Jongdae to see the totality of the situation.

 

As he was loading his groceries on his bike, Jongdae looked up and caught Sehun staring back at him. The kid tried to run away almost immediately.

 

"Sehun, wait."

 

Sehun froze, shoulders sagging as he resigned to his fate. He turned around and threw Jongdae a smile that could possibly be the ugliest smile he had ever seen on a person. Why did he think Sehun was so ugly, when the first reason he was ever interested in the kid was solely for his expressions?

 

They made their way to the playground, settling on the benches as soon as they'd arrived. "So, what happened?" Sehun asked after a while, then risked a glance at Jongdae. "I mean, with the murder thing. I've been hearing stuff, but I dunno the real story, so..."

 

"I don't know. I'm still pretty surprised about everything, to be honest. Liyin and I were good friends, so it really… hurt to find out about it. The worst thing was that he had to kill the baby, too. Oh god, sorry, but this is—" Jongdae shook his head and choked on his own spit. "This is really hard to talk about. The wound is still fresh." His eyes were downcast. "Death is always at my tail, it seems."

 

If Sehun had any sympathy for him, he didn't let it show. That impassive face was what drew Jongdae to the boy. "Oh," Sehun simply said, playing with his sleeve.

 

"So," Jongdae singsonged. "How's Kyungsoo? I forgot to ask for his number so I don't know whether he's dead or not." He stopped short in his monologue, then furrowed his eyebrows when he saw Sehun's nose flare. "Sorry, too much?"

 

"That's not a good joke, hyung."

 

"Sorry. All these deaths have turned me into the shell that I am today." Jongdae patted Moomin on his lap. "So yeah, how is he?"

 

"He's completely fine," the boy squeaked. "Just really busy about college stuff. He doesn't have a phone anymore, so I can't give his number. We rarely even have time for each other." Sehun pursed his lips, suddenly interested in the grass on his feet.

 

"Oh no. Well, you know college," Jongdae answered. "He's probably started working on his undergraduate thesis. It's nice to hear from someone else, though. Tell him you miss him."

 

"I did!" Sehun exclaimed, all fired up. "I went to his dorm. He slammed the door on me."

 

Jongdae clenched his fists. "He was just surprised at the sudden visit. Try it again. Bring him food or something." The mere idea of Jongdae giving relationship advice was laughable, but the words flowed out of his mouth easily. "Forgive me for asking, but when was the last time you guys had sex?"

 

Sehun guffawed. Jongdae waited for him to compose himself. "I, uh, two months ago," Sehun mumbled. He gulped down hard.

 

"Are you guys still in the BDSM thing--"

 

"--Okay, that's another area you wouldn't want to walk into." Sehun stood up and tried to shake off the nervousness by jumping in place. Kids passed by behind him, almost bumping into the jittery man, who had no idea of his surroundings. "Jongdae hyung, thank you for trying to listen," he said after a while, turning to look at Jongdae. "Really. You're not as bad as I thought."

 

Jongdae just chuckled and gathered his things in response. "I think I've extended my vacation hours for too long," he whispered much later, "Kyungsoo's not the only one busy with school. Catch you later." Soon, he was waving at the tall boy before running to where he parked his bike, intent on finishing his Physics essay by tonight.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


A new detective was assigned to Zhoumi's case, Jongdae soon discovered. Thanks to his father's connections with the police force, he was always updated about what was happening in the station.

 

Jongdae stretched his arms and legs as he made himself comfortable on  a windowsill. He could still see the police going in and out of the house across the street. Hours ago, he was questioned about Zhoumi and his whole family — the origin of their friendship, what Zhoumi and Liyin's relationship was like, and the baby. He answered all of them reciting his mother’s script inside his head. 

 

He wondered how many years would it take for someone to be brave enough to live in the house again. Until then, he and Moomin would be waiting.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Jingle Bell Rock started playing from the speakers, with Baekhyun feeling proud of his song choice. He immediately plopped his ass back down the couch, almost spilling his hot chocolate on his boyfriend. Baekhyun raised his mug, shouting, "Because it's finally Christmas eve!"

 

They toasted with their mugs, cheering for the vacation that they all wanted so badly. Jongdae sipped his tea, grateful at the warmth it provided. Baekhyun had invited them all for a trip to his vacation house before he and Tao left for Jeju Island the following day. Jongdae had trouble getting to his house, since he just couldn't ride his bike to the bus station with a blizzard whipping at his limbs  _ and _ Jongdeok was using the car. Luhan had offered him a ride, though. Jongdae, remembering their deal, went with it and tolerated Luhan's music for the next two hours.

 

He was glad that the house had a heater on, for it was really cold outside. So cold that his teeth would involuntarily chatter every five seconds. Don't get him wrong — he loved winter. It was his favorite season, actually. He had the whole Christmas break to study and had an excuse to wear gloves.

 

Baekhyun snuggled against Tao and laid his head on the other's chest for warmth. "I can't wait for Secret Santa!" he squealed. "My gift's amazing!"

 

"Can we do it now?" Tao whined. "I hate surprises."

 

Baekhyun waggled a finger at him. "Tsk tsk. Not now, Taozi. We have to wait until midnight. Where’s the fun in opening the gifts in the middle of the afternoon?"

 

That damn Secret Santa thing. It would've been nice: just a little thing that was good for a friendship. But Jongdae just had to curse his luck when he drew out Luhan's name from the box Baekhyun had made awfully. Jongdae had considered getting him a roll of duct tape and ropes, with a note that said: “ _ So you can finally shut up that mouth, _ ” but that that kind of present would raise the wrong idea, no doubt about that.

 

So, instead…

 

Jongdae sneaked a peek at his medium-sized yellow gift box under Baekhyun's humongous overly-decorated Christmas tree.

 

When Luhan suggested the idea, Jongdae immediately pegged it as suspicious. This would be the Shadiest Secret Santa if Luhan was the one behind it. Jongdae didn’t trust the hedonist in Luhan to pull an ordinary event. He still found himself rolling his eyes involuntarily when he dated back to the school event.

 

"Hey, guys, look!" Baekhyun pointed outside the window with his thumb. "The snowstorm's finally stopped. There's snow  _ everywhere. _ Wouldn't this be a perfect time for a snowball fight?"

 

"I'm up for it." Luhan immediately stood up and fixed his beanie. "Jongdae? Let's go?"

 

"And why would I--" Jongdae's protest died out at the widening of Luhan's eyes. He grimaced. "Alright." He hated being this low.

 

"You guys go on ahead." Tao put on a blanket all over himself. "I have an injury, in case some of you forgot."

 

"Ummm, me too," Jongin said, speaking up for the first time. He hugged his legs to his chest while inching closer to the fireplace. "I'm not an outdoors person. Have fun."

 

"Ugh, you guys are killjoys!" Baekhyun slammed the door on his way out.

 

Jongdae was partnered up with Yixing after a quick game of rock, paper, scissors. Yixing offered to do their snowfort, saying he was 'an expert at this kind of stuff'. He once built a giant fortress when he was a little kid, he said, and kept talking about memories of his past. Jongdae let him blabber while already forming strategies on how to defeat the other team.

 

They didn't even let Luhan and Baekhyun finish their own measly fort, as Jongdae already began raining snowballs on them. Baekhyun screamed, swearing revenge. He started continuously throwing deformed balls at Jongdae's direction.

 

Jongdae winced at the feeling of something hard and cold pressed on his cheek. One of them hit him.

 

"Oh, you little bitch," Jongdae muttered. He crouched low and pooled snow in his hands, struggling to make a humongous ball. When he got up, he mustered up all his strength and sent the ball straight onto Luhan's direction.

 

It hit him square in the face. Luhan stumbled back with a yelp while Yixing, Jongdae, and even Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh. "Why me?!" Luhan indignantly cried out.

 

Jongdae shrugged. Just in time, Luhan took his revenge and threw one right onto Jongdae's face. Now it was their turn to laugh at him. Jongdae swatted the remaining snow away from his face, now unamused. He looked around him and found a few hardened icicles on the low ceiling of the porch. He reached for those, then, effortlessly breaking off  one and motioning  to throw it at Luhan when Baekhyun cut him off with a shrill scream.

 

"Jongdae, stop!" Baekhyun shrieked.

 

"What are you  _ doing?! _ " Yixing asked, face contorted in confusion. He was staring at the icicle in horror.

 

Jongdae snapped out of his trance, adrenaline dying down. He blinked, slowly dropping his hand and the icicle along with it. "I'm—"

 

And then there was silence. Tension was thick in the air. Everyone was staring at him with wide, wide eyes, struck with horror. Baekhyun shivered. "I... I'm cold. Let's all go inside everyone!" Baekhyun hurried past them, Yixing following him but still shaking his head at Jongdae.

 

Luhan stuck around for a few seconds, hovering. "Don't get carried away," he muttered.

 

Jongdae just blinked again, and without a word, went inside.

 

Tao was seated on the couch facing the window. "That was really scary, you know," he told Jongdae as soon as the latter had walked in. "You could've hurt Luhan or someone else with it, joking or not."

 

"I'm sorry," Jongdae apologized, making it loud and clear for everyone to hear. The truth was, he  _ did _ get carried away. But he wasn't feeling any remorse for anyone but for himself. He was being stupid and impulsive again. He really needed to retire that habit.

 

Interrupting their conversation, Baekhyun emerged from the kitchen, holding a tray and a bowl on the other. "Okay, time to eat! I have some muffins fresh from the oven!" he called out in his fake, overly-enthusiastic voice, and urged for Jongin to help him transfer the muffins to the bowl.

 

Tao considered Jongdae with another look before he too, joined in.

 

Jongdae sighed to himself. He was such a fuck up. He hated himself whenever he wasn't thinking straight—

 

"Hey." Luhan was standing in front of him. "Let's talk."

 

He grabbed one of the muffins. It was still hot — burning, even — but he refused to set it back. "I don't want to," he uttered, then sank his teeth in the treat.

 

"Don't make me drag your flat ass by force," Luhan retorted, the corners of his mouth pulled up into a venomous smile.

 

Jongdae suddenly wished that he had just put the icicle right in the middle of Luhan's eyes.

 

Upstairs, he and Luhan entered one of the four guest rooms. As soon as Jongdae closed the door, Luhan was already up by his face. "Are you crazy?!" Luhan cried out, leaning too close. Jongdae backed out a little. "Way to get everyone suspicious of you."

 

"You should know better than to hit my face," Jongdae gritted out. It was all Luhan's fault, anyway Jongdae had always been awfully protective of his perfect face.

 

Luhan gaped at him. "Oh, c'mon, Jongdae, it was a  _ snowball  _ fight. And you started it!" This was another one of those times where in Luhan lost his cool. The guy was biting his nails while pacing back and forth. He sighed a few seconds later. "Let's just say we had a fight."

 

Jongdae turned his back onto him. "Maybe I want them to know. So that you can stop ordering me around and treating me like some slave." Of course he didn't mean that. But it really didn't sit well with him how Luhan got his way around.

 

"I'm just protecting you."

 

"I don't need any of your protection or your help," he stated flatly. "Don't fucking order me around."

 

Luhan brought a palm to his face. "Are you forgetting that I can--" His other hand reached towards Jongdae but Jongdae caught it, earning a gasp from Luhan.

 

Never taking his eyes off of him, Jongdae began to squeeze Luhan's hand tight, feeling him. Feeling Luhan’s fear that only empowered Jongdae even more. "I haven't forgotten at all. It's what I think about every night. Every day.  _ Every fucking second _ . It's always what's inside my mind and pushes me to end your life once and for all." He could see Luhan wincing as he tightened his hold on the latter. "The only way I can get it out of my head is to kill you."

 

Luhan yanked his hand off of Jongdae's grasp and massaged his wrist. "So when are you planning to kill me?"

 

"Unfortunately, never. Because I don't kill."

 

"This bullshit again, seriously?"

 

"It's both Moomin’s call and mine," he muttered quietly. Jongdae didn't give Luhan a chance to reply as he slipped from the room and went downstairs. His feet halted when he heard hushed whispers coming from the living room. He leaned on the wall and listened.

 

"...totally weird. Do you think it's because of... you know... Chanyeol?" It sounded like Tao, his voice thick with concern and worry. Jongdae rolled his eyes as he realized they were talking about him.

 

"I think so?" Yixing replied. "Ever since his death, Jongdae has changed. He doesn't smile as often and he's even snarkier than before. There's this aura around him now that--"

 

"--Oh, stop it!" Baekhyun interjected, loud enough that Jongdae was pretty sure even Luhan heard that from upstairs. He could even picture Baekhyun crossing his arms in disappointment. "What happened today was just a mistake. Like, there are a lot of times I wanted to harm you Tao, don't take offense. And Jongdae has  _ always  _ been Jongdae."

 

"It's because you stan EXO, Baek. You're blinded by all these problematic idols. I, for one, think something is definitely wrong with Jongdae."

 

"Oh sure, just drag EXO whenever you feel like it, Tao," Baekhyun replied, annoyed. "Jongdae has been my friend for 4 years. I’ve known him longest out of you all, so could you all please just shut your traps? Maybe?  _ Thank you. _ "

 

No one continued the conversation after that. Jongdae waited for a few seconds to pass before making his presence known. Everyone lightened up as soon as they saw him.  _ Fakes _ . Except Jongin, who was too busy reading a book to care. "Why're you all so quiet?"

 

Baekhyun was glaring at Tao. "It's nothing." Then he smiled at Jongdae. "Where's Luhan?"

 

"Right here." Jongdae jumped back in surprise when the offender whispered a top of his shoulder. "I told you you're bound to get suspected," Luhan hissed at Jongdae.

 

Midnight couldn't come fast enough. And when it did, they were all giddy to open their presents like little kids. They were gathered beside the Christmas tree, alcohol at the middle of their circle. Jongdae didn't really drink, but his tolerance was high enough to trust himself not to do anything stupid. Yixing was a light drinker, though, and Jongin outright refused after the first glass. The rest were on their sixth glass already.

 

"Should I start?" Baekhyun's voice was already slurred and his cheeks were tinted. He didn't even wait for anyone to answer. "Okay, I'll start. I picked someone really important to me--"

 

Everyone groaned. "Do we really have to include a description?" Tao asked.

 

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. "This is simply Secret Santa etiquette." He reached for a red box wrapped in green ribbon under the tree. "Boy, I hope he really does like this one. I stayed up long nights making it!" A goofy smile crept to his face as he extended the box. For a second, Jongdae thought it was going to be him, but Baekhyun immediately cleared things up. "...Tao!"

 

Tao let out a loud gasp, and squealed as he accepted the gift wholeheartedly. The guy wasted no time in opening the present, only to find a masterfully handmade sweater with Baekhyun's face on it. Tao's smile froze on its place.

 

"Do you like it?" Baekhyun batted his eyelashes.

 

"I--I--I love it!" His voice was pitchy.

 

Next was Tao, and Baekhyun had to force him for a minute until Tao relented and began to describe his recipient. "He's Chinese, so I gave him something to fit his name..

 

"Careful, it's fragile," he said as a warning. Shifting to his side, he addressed his recipient. "...Yixing."

 

Yixing clapped his hands, grinning. He took the box from Tao but didn't open it. "I already know what's inside." He shifted so he could have access to the tree. He looked around, eyes squinted, but still ended up with nothing. "Huh? Where's my present?" 

 

Baekhyun straightened up and furrowed his eyebrows. "What does it look like?"

 

"It's polka-dotted with a yellow ribbon."

 

Everyone started scanning the room, Baekhyun and Jongin standing up to look. Beside Jongdae, who was making no effort to search at all, Luhan was squinting at an object behind the couch. "Hey, I think that fits your description," he called out.

 

Yixing immediately brightened up and went to get it. "How did  _ you  _ get there?"

 

They got back to their positions. Baekhyun slapped Tao's leg. "It's your fault, isn't it? I told you not to touch them!"

 

Tao raised his hands, shocked at the accusation. "I didn't! I only touched mine!"

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, thoroughly unconvinced.

 

Yixing patted his gift, speaking up. "He may be quiet, but he is someone dear and close to me. Merry Christmas, Jongin."

 

_ Hmm,  _ Jongdae thought.  _ So that must mean Jongin got him or, god forbid, Luhan _ .

 

Beaming, Jongin gratefully accepted the gift. "Merry Christmas to you, too."

 

Jongdae jutted his chin out at Jongin. "Open it."

 

"What?" Jongin was confused,

 

"I'm curious." Jongdae rested his head on his palm as he dunked one more glass of alcohol.

 

Jongin did so, albeit still a little dumbfounded. Almost immediately a foul stench wrapped around the air. Jongdae recognized it a second away. It was the smell of something  _ dead _ . He stood up quickly.

 

Jongin's eyes widened when he saw it and he pushed the box away, face squeezing into disgust. Baekhyun hurried to see what it was all about and almost puked. "What  _ the _ !"

 

Jongdae pushed past Luhan to try and get a better look. His mouth opened slightly at the sight. Inside the box was a dead rat dismembered to its very core, with the guts splattered all over the walls of the box.

 

"What the hell," Luhan mumbled, scrutinizing it.

 

All of them sobered up. One by one, they all turned to Yixing for an answer.

 

Yixing looked befuddled himself, though. "I swear to god I don't know how that happened!" He was sweating bullets. "I bought him a book!"

 

Tao nodded in aid. "He's right. I was with him when he bought it and had it wrapped." He covered his nose as the foul stench only seem to grew stronger. "Someone shut that thing!"

 

It was Luhan who did the job, with that smirk on his face. "This joke isn't funny at all,” he said, but he was talking only to Jongdae and nobody else. His focused gaze gave him away. Jongdae glared at him in return.

 

This time, it wasn't him. Someone was indeed playing with them.

 

"Oh, Jongin, I'm so sorry..." Yixing moved closer to Jongin and slung an arm around his shoulder, trying to cozy up. "I don't know who would do such a thing."

 

The only thing Jongin could do was to solemnly nod.

 

"It  _ has _ to be one of us here." Tao scratched the back of his neck, eyeing every single one of them suspiciously as he did so. They were beginning to sound like one of those ridiculous horror movies that still raked in lots of cash. How ironic that the one thing that was supposed to have bonded them even closer together made them question each other like this.

 

"When's the last time you remember putting it under the Christmas tree?" Jongdae asked, turning to Yixing.

 

"Right after we got here. We all put our stuff there, together, remember? In a ceremonial fashion, if I may add." True. Baekhyun had wanted them all to recite a prayer before putting the presents under the tree. It was all part of 'Secret Santa etiquette', whatever the hell that meant. "And we didn't go very far from the tree. Except the snowball fight and when we ate the muffins."

 

Only Jongin and Tao were inside when the whole snowball fight happened — Tao, because of his injury, and Jongin, because he didn't feel like it. Could Jongin possibly had done that to himself? That wouldn't make any sense, though.

 

"Did you really have to buy such a big box for a simple book?" Baekhyun queried.

 

"Baekhyun," Tao said sternly, squeezing Baekhyun's shoulder for support.

 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Yixing did the job of picking up the box and throwing it out. None of them could look at each other now that the mood had soured. Tao sat himself on the couch and Baekhyun had to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Even with the distance between them, Jongdae could still hear Baekhyun's dry heaving loud and clear.

 

"I'm alright, guys." It was the first time Jongin spoke first to everyone. "Let's just continue." Sighing, the boy dropped his head low and reached for a small red box, shaking it first. "He, uh—"

 

"No. It's okay, you don't--" Baekhyun was suddenly behind them, waving a hand at Jongin's awkward fumbling for words.

 

"--He, uh!" Jongin pressed on, anyway. "I'm really grateful for his friendship. Yeah." Finally, he gave up and tossed the box at Jongdae's lap.

 

Jongdae acknowledged Jongin with a nod, quietly thanking him. What could it be? He wasn't expecting anything special since it was small. But still, curiosity lingered.

 

Thankfully, Tao was back to being a nosy son of a bitch. "Open it," he crooned.

 

"My, are you imitating me?" Jongdae's kittenish lips curled up. He unwrapped the ribbon very slowly just so he could irritate Tao. Just as he was about to finally unwrap the small carton, Yixing teetered inside the house.

 

"Oh, who did you get that from?" Yixing inquired.

 

"Jongin." Inside the box was a pair of the nicest looking cotton gloves Jongdae had ever seen. His eyes widened in response and he looked up to see Jongin giving him the warmest smile. Jongdae stiffened.

 

"What's this? So boring!" Tao snored to emphasize his opinion.

 

"Boring after seeing a dead rat, right?" Jongdae retorted. Now,  _ that _ shut Tao up.

 

Closing the lid, Jongdae finally whispered. "Thank you." And he really meant it. Even though the gift itself was suspicious and unusual, he still felt grateful that Jongin would be this thoughtful. Gloves were important to him and as luck turned out, he was running out of them.

 

At last, Jongdae took one of the two remaining gifts under the tree and slammed it down beside Luhan. "I don't have anything to say about you."

 

Baekhyun chortled while Luhan just pursed his lips in a forced smile. The latter fully grinned when he opened it, though. "Aww, for me? A flash drive?" He quizzed, dangling the keychain attached to it.

 

Licking his lips, Jongdae explained, "Since your old one got broken with all your important videos... I thought, why not give the poor guy a new one?" He finished his sentence with a subtle evil twitch to his eye, enjoying the reaction on Luhan's face as the latter processed it all.

 

"What do you mean broken? It's not..." Luhan paused. " _ Ah _ . Hahaha. AHAHAHA—" He laughed maniacally. The others exchanged glances, unaware of what was going on between the two. Luhan pitched a thumbs-up at his way. "Brilliant."

 

If only Jongdae could flip his hair right now. That should tell Luhan not to mess with  _ him _ .

 

It had been quite difficult to pull of his 'little present', though. On their last meeting before the holiday break, Jongdae waited until Luhan had been called out for a meeting with the school board, leaving the council at the office. Everyone was too busy chatting with each other that they hadn't noticed Jongdae sliding towards Luhan's bookbag where he kept his gadgets. Once he spotted the familiar flash drive he had long been looking for, he was quick to pocket it, and on his way home he crushed it on the concrete, pulverizing it with his shoes.

 

Baekhyun, somehow regaining his good mood, excitedly snatched the last gift before Luhan could move. "It's okay," he told him. "You don't have to tell me how much you love me. I already know." Baekhyun ripped the wrapper open. Only to find... another flash drive.

 

Jongdae stood up in a haste, unbelieving. Everyone was too focused and confused to notice his sudden movement. Jongdae scowled at Luhan, breathing hard. It couldn't be.

 

Luhan only laughed in merriment at his reaction. "Good thing I got those videos saved up in my backup drive then! Now, now, Baek, be careful. It contains  _ all  _ my videos. Some you may not like."

 

"If it's porn, I have my own collection." Baekhyun looked disappointed, not giving the gift so much as a second glance.

 

Meanwhile, Jongdae was still fuming. He couldn't believe that he would just get one-upped like that. It was his fault for not thinking that Luhan could've backed those important data somewhere, though. He should have been more careful.

 

Luhan feigned surprise. He had to be the most annoying person ever. "What are you doing standing there, Jongdae?" he said, then offered Jongdae a smile. "Sit down."

 

Jongdae took a deep, shaky breath. He needed to do something about that drive, fast.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"What's with that scowl?" Luhan asked when they were all nestled inside their blankets. The bunk beds were put side by side. Luhan and Yixing were on either side of Jongdae. Yixing was already sound asleep. The other three were in Baekhyun's slightly better room.

 

Jongdae pulled the covers up. He couldn't actually say no to the room arrangements without coming off as suspicious.

 

"Baekhyun's in for an amazing surprise when he sees my amazing porn collection."

 

Jongdae rolled his eyes. He didn't budge, though, staying still and not paying attention to Luhan.

 

"Oh, c'mon," Luhan whispered, careful not to wake Yixing up. "It really does contain my porn. Your data, however, is safe with me somewhere else. So, stop being so prissy. I'm not going to expose you just yet so you can tolerate me a li'l bit more. That's what you want, right?"

 

Wow. Just  _ wow _ . Luhan was so far up his ass.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


It was the middle of the night. Jongdae was thrashing around in his sleep. His temples were soaked with sweat. The nightmares were getting worse. The men in his dream--dressed in all black--were laughing at him. It was the first time that ever happened. The face of the bulky one got closer and closer until… Luhan’s face revealed itself laughing evilly.

 

"I'll touch you all I waaaaant!" Luhan singsonged as he reached for Jongdae with grabby hands. "You're miiiiine!"

 

Jongdae's eyes snapped wide open. Someone was touching him.  _ Someone was really touching him _ . He immediately pushed his assailant away without thinking, body all tingly.

 

"Ya!" Yixing fell over the night drawer beside his bed and accidentally pulled at the plug of the lamp while doing so. He immediately composed himself and fixed the mess he had created. "Sorry, but I had to wake you up. That nightmare looked bad."

 

But Jongdae was paying him no mind. The boy was busy panting frantically, breathing labored. When he noticed Yixing was just standing there, still staring at him, he nodded at him in understanding. A quick scan made him see that Luhan was too busy sleeping, sprawled all over his bed and apparently was a heavy sleeper.

 

"Just... don't do that again," said Jongdae.

 

"Do what? Wake you up from a nightmare?" Yixing looked genuinely confused.

 

_ I'd rather die in my sleep than have you touching me _ . Without replying, Jongdae got up from his bed and left the room to get a glass of water from the kitchen. He was still somewhat half-asleep yet very alarmed of what just happened. Just as he was gulping down a glass of water, his senses immediately awakened. Something foul was in the air. It was the same stench from before.

 

But Jongdae didn't do anything about it. He just couldn't force himself to give a shit.

 

Yixing was waiting for him back at the room. Jongdae wanted to answer his question that  _ no _ , Yixing shouldn’t wake him up from his sleep. For reality was already a far greater nightmare for Jongdae. But instead, Jongdae told him to go back to sleep, promptly doing the same.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


A scream had awoken Jongdae the next day. It wasn't his own, thankfully. He was so used to Baekhyun's scream, that he could tell it was Baekhyun’s even when Jongdae was unconscious.  _ What now _ ? he thought, and grunted as he peeled himself off of the bed.

 

He was all alone in the room. Everyone had either rushed to Baekhyun's aid, or for Jongdae’s case, did the unthinkable and overslept.

 

"What the fuck, Tao! Get it away!"

 

"You're asking  _ me _ ?! My god."

 

Jongdae joined them and saw what the commotion was all about. They were all looking down the ground, eyes fixed on Yixing's gift for Jongin — the dismembered rat, except this time, the rat was already chopped into pieces.

 

"I... I..." Baekhyun covered his mouth with his hands in an attempt to keep himself from throwing up. He wrapped his free hand around a chair handle to steady himself. "I found it here when I was about to prepare breakfast."

 

"Don't you think--" Tao began, but Baekhyun shut him up with a menacing glare.

 

Now they were all suspecting he was behind it, he could tell. This was all so petty. Jongdae crossed his arms as he shivered. Did someone turn down the heater as well? "Think what, Tao?" he asked, then, voice quivering in the cold. He hoped no one noticed and took that as a sign of weakness.

 

Tao only observed Jongdae's tired, red eyes and his unusual throaty voice, but didn't say anything.

 

"I saw it last night," Jongdae coughed. "Well, no. I smelled it. But I was actually too lazy to do something about it."

 

"Okay, you know and did nothing?" asked Baekhyun.

 

Jongdae ran his fingers through his hair as he considered all his possible excuses. Yixing answered for him, though, going for the save even before he could get out another word. "Jongdae was having a nightmare last night so I woke him up."

 

Jongdae sneered. Did he really had to disclose that information?

 

Luhan arched his eyebrows in interest. "Nightmares? Do you have a traumatic past now or something?"

 

Ignoring him, Jongdae settled on one of the reclining chairs close to the fireplace. His half-lidded eyes almost closed as soon as he felt the little knots of tension in his back coming off one-by-one. "Can we just go back to the matter at hand so you all can stop suspecting it was my doing?" he groaned.

 

A chorus of "No!" filled the room.

 

"No!" Baekhyun shrieked, looking at anywhere but at him. "Of course we don't suspect you! It's just... I'm really worried about which one of us would pull something sick like this."

 

"Yixing was awake, too. Don't just forget about him," he added.

 

Yixing rolled his eyes. "Really now? You know what? I say we just leave this thing behind us. Baek and Tao have to leave for the airport in 2 hours and I can guess Baekhyun's not at all finished packing just yet."

 

"Hey!" Baekhyun opposed.

 

"He's right," Jongin quietly contributed.

 

"About what?!"

 

Jongin backed away. "About putting the thing behind us. Not about you..."

 

Meanwhile. Luhan had the decency to actually close the box containing the dead animal. "I'll make myself useful..."

 

"For the first time," Jongdae mumbled under his breath.

 

"...and take this one outside, Just call me whenever breakfast's ready," Luhan finished. He carried the box on his arms and stepped outside on the falling snow.

 

Jongdae followed suit as soon as everyone went back to minding their own businesses. The snow on the ground wasn't as thick as yesterday’s. He mashed the snow under his boots as he and Luhan made their way next to the garbage dump.

 

"Initially, I thought it was you," Luhan said while turning around the corner. "But I know better than that."

 

"Do you?"

 

"Well, I don't have an idea who it is, really." Luhan finally disposed of the damn thing, shaking his mittens.

 

"And here I thought you were supposed to be smart." Jongdae gave him a pitying look while tilting his head to the side. His expression turned serious at his next words, however. "It's obviously Yixing."

 

"Huh." Luhan was thinking about it. Jongdae could tell just by seeing Luhan twist his mouth. "Yixing, huh. That's the last person on my list."

 

They walked slowly together, hands in their pockets. "Can't you see it? He's just putting on this facade that he's just your average normal guy. I bet he's smarter than half of our group."

 

"This is all very unusual. But I can see your point. He's appeared sly at times."

 

"And," Jongdae rushed, pausing to kick some snow, "He obviously wants to point fingers at me. Make everyone turn their backs on me and suspect me. I don't know why he's doing it and why now of all times." Not like Jongdae had done Yixing anything wrong. Was Yixing actually smart enough to know that he had a hand on those murders? Powerful Luhan, he could believe, but Yixing?  _ Hmm. _

 

"Maybe you wronged him recently? Refuse a tutoring session, insult a book he's reading...?"

 

Jongdae was unamused. "Very funny. I can't think of anything, really. How about you? Seeing you're his confidant and all."

 

Memories came flooding back to when Luhan and Yixing were always seen together and talking in a private place. Jongdae had not forgotten about those. At the beginning of the school year, he had paid Yixing absolutely no mind, putting him in the Uninteresting People List next to Jongin. But so many things had changed these past few months. Anyone could be against him now. 

 

Luhan feigned offence, clutching his chest in a Tao-like manner. He gaped at Jongdae, stating, "How dare you insinuate such things!" He went back to being the annoying guy that he was the next second, though. "C'mon, Jongdae. I'm  _ your  _ man through and through."

 

"Yipee," Jongdae said dryly, voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

"Actually, if anything..." Luhan's voice dropped down to a whisper. "I think it's Jongin."

 

Jongdae quickly dismissed that idea, shaking his head. "Are you hearing yourself?" There was  _ no way. _

 

Jongdae risked a glance over his shoulder and at the vacation house. He thought he was just seeing things, at first, but he couldn't be mistaken — that was Jongin just now, watching them through the window before shutting the curtains in a swift motion. That was  _ odd _ .   
  
_ I think it's Jongin, _ rang Luhan's words in his ears. They made him shiver.   
  
_ Anyone could be against him. _

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"Jongdae, I have something for you!" Mrs. Kim's high-pitched voice penetrated his ears, making him wince in response. His mother had her face all over his, waiting for Jongdae to share the same excitement. When he made no move to do so, Mrs. Kim composed herself. "Since you already have the car, your dad and I got you something else for Christmas."

 

His mother had been all up his ass ever since Jongdae told her he was spending Christmas eve with his friends. His parents had organized a Christmas party and they were expecting him to suit up and entertain the guests. Too bad Jongdae always got what he wanted. He  _ did _ return the following day, though.

 

"Mother, I gave the car to Jongdeok, remember?" Jongdae wasn't fond of cars so he did the only thing he could to get rid of it without offending his parents -- by handing it to his brother, who always got nothing. Jongdeok accepted it even if he knew it was Jongdae's way of getting rid of things he didn't want. What else was he going to use to crash parties and break the law with?

 

Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, finally able to piece things together.. She was probably blaming Jongdae for all the cover-ups she had to do just to protect the family name. The illegal street races, shoplifting, vandalizing... Jongdeok truly never grew out of his rebellious teenage phase. His mother was still hoping, though.

 

His dad emerged from the living room to the kitchen in silent anger. The display of the phone in his hand was that of Jongdeok's contact card and a couple of little red icons that told Jongdae that his brother was still unreachable. Jongdae sat still in his seat, waiting for more news. "What did you get Jongdeok for Christmas, anyway?" he asked his mother.

 

"Something, but it's not important, honey. I got you--" The oven gave a light buzz, and his mother quickly pushed herself away from the table and to take out the lasagna. Her smile was strained at the corners. She paused, hesitating. "Jongdae, I got you a psychiatrist."

 

Jongdae stiffened at what she just said. "Pardon?"

 

Her smile widened. As if  _ that _ made things any better. Jongdae, disbelieving, leaped up from his seat and walked away. He couldn't believe this.

 

Mrs. Kim hurried after him, trying to catch up. "I already handled the transcripts and other stuff!" she said, still on his toes. "She's a family friend, Jongdae. She'd be willing to help you!"

 

Jongdae turned around in an instant, almost making his mother bump into him. He took a deep breath and said the next words with vehement conviction. "There's.  _ Nothing _ . Wrong. With. Me." His dragged his feet to the flight of staircase and never looked back.

 

"Jongdae!" His mother called out but all she got was the slamming of his door. Fuming, he paced around the room back and forth. He felt fury coursing through his veins, taking control of his body, and he grabbed a picture frame of his family, smashing it on the ground. Jongdae kicked the broken glasses aside with the heel of his leather shoe.

 

Just then, he could hear a commotion going on from downstairs. Jongdae looked down his window. The moonlight spotted down two figures arguing. Mr. Kim had his hold on Jongdeok's collar, the latter trying to swat it away. "Get off me, you old man!" he cried out.

 

Jongdae closed his blinds. Way to ruin his holiday spirit with all of this.

 

Aggravated, Jongdae slumped in his king-sized bed. He wanted to scream and rip his hair out. A fucking psychiatrist. Just how dare his mother even think of such a thing? Did she think that Jongdae was abnormal? That was  _ false _ .

 

It wasn't him who was in the wrong. The rest of the world was.

 

His mind reeled towards the last time he actually enjoyed the Christmas holidays. The memory was all hazy. But it was one of the last times he actually got to experience happiness.

 

Moomin was in it. Not the doll, but the boy. They were at the playground again. This was their safe haven. Where Jongdae's overbearing mother couldn't find the boys and reprimand them for playing with each other. His mother didn't like him hanging out with the 'indigent family across the street'. Little Jongdae didn't know what that word meant, but he figured it was something bad.

 

"Sorry, Jongdae." Moomin scratched the back of his head. In the presence of cold winter, the fact that the boy in front of him wasn't wearing any gloves made Jongdae want to reach out and hold them for they looked so cold. "I only got you this." Moomin took something out of the back pocket of his tattered jeans. It was a pair of gloves.

 

Jongdae looked at them, suspicious. "Aren't these yours?" He nodded at the boy's bare hands.

 

Moomin just shoved it onto his chest. "It's yours already. You know I don't have any money to actually get you a decent gift."

 

"Will it be okay if I just give it back to you as  _ my _ Christmas present?" Jongdae took it reluctantly.

 

The boy pushed his shoulders. "Don't be stupid, Kim Jongdae."

 

Jongdae sighed. There was only one thing he couldn't do in this world, and that was winning an argument over Moomin. "Fine, fine. Here's your gift," he said, then handed Moomin a pair of running shoes. The other's eyes instantaneously sparkled in delight and surprise. At seeing this, Jongdae smiled. "I didn't have time to wrap it, though. Mom would've caught me by then."

 

He hoped his Mom didn't see the pair of missing shoes on Jongdae's shelf. She was always snooping around his room.

 

Then snow began to fall.

 

It certainly wasn't the first time they'd seen snow, but it was the first time they experienced such a thing together. They watched as the little blobs of white fell to the ground, coating the surface with a thin sheen. They even tasted the snowflakes to test if the theory of it tasting like candy was true. It  _ wasn’t _ .

 

"Jongdeok's missing out!" Jongdae cried out. He immediately felt bad for his brother.

 

"Where is he anyway? Why don't you let him play with us?" Moomin asked.

 

Jongdae groaned as Moomin shoved a snowball to his trousers. "Jongdeok's the breadwinner of the family. He has to stay up all day in his room studying or mom won't let him eat at dinner with us," he explained. "Yesterday, he called me the 'black sheep' so now we're not talking to each other. But that's okay, because I get to play while he's too busy being Mom's robot!" He chuckled as he hit Moomin square in the face.

 

"Hey, Jongdae, taste this—"

 

Soon, there was another ball of snow hurling towards his face, snapping him out of his trance.

 

Back in the present, Jongdae's lips eased to a smile. How old was he back then? Twelve? Eleven? It was surprising how he even came to remember that, after all the trauma that had happened after it.

 

The soft knocking on the door soon turned into loud banging. It messed with his thoughts and made him heave a sigh as his lips pulled down into a frown. "Jongdeok, I'm not hungry."

 

"You fucking freak!" a drunk Jongdeok shouted at the other end. "You psychopath. You're still denying something's wrong with you?!" He laughed dryly. After a few seconds, he was gone.

 

_ Nothing's wrong with you, Jongdae _ . A tiny voice uttered in his ear.  _ Don't believe them. They'll always deter your plans.  _ The doll's blue eyes at his bedside met his and Jongdae was suddenly filled with what he had hoped was affection.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


After looking at his watch for the umpteenth time tonight, Jongdae spotted the lights at the convenience store getting shut off. He kicked the melting snow at his feet as he leaned back on his car, a Hyundai Genesis. He managed to borrow it for some time from Jongdeok, using the "It's my car in the first place" trick. At least his brother took great care of it: not a single dent was found.

 

Jongdae was feeling great tonight. He looked up at the starry sky as he listened intently to the jingling sound of keys being used to lock the empty convenience store.

 

The footsteps growing louder came to a halt. "Jongdae hyung?" came a voice from a distance. It sounded familiar.

 

"Hey." Jongdae nodded and grinned "Just wanted to get my quick fix of cup noodles but you're closing early today?"

 

Sehun shrugged his broad shoulders. "It's the holidays. Vacation, Stuff." Only now did Jongdae noticed how Sehun's voice was patchy and rough. His eyes were a little puffy and red-rimmed, too.

 

"Since I got nothing better to do..." Jongdae started slowly. "Why don't you and me have a little break to chat?"

 

He could see the other man considering this. "My roommate's out of town so I've got the place all by myself all week. So yeah, sure. Booze or...?"

 

"Tea is just fine. Maybe you can even fix me some dinner."

 

They got inside Jongdae's car. There was still the faint smell of marijuana wafting in the air. Jongdae tolerated the aroma. Sehun lived a little far away from the convenience store. He couldn't stop talking about how difficult his commute was as Jongdae tuned to the classical radio station. Sehun, as it turned out, didn't know how to stop talking and whining. Pfft, kids.

 

Sehun's apartment was nothing short of small. Jongdae eased himself beside the little coffee table as Sehun heated his pizza from last night. When he got back, he was also carrying two cans of Coke. “We don’t have tea.”

 

"So, how're you and Kyungsoo?" Jongdae wasted no time in asking as he dug in the spaghetti, laying Moomin and his foldable umbrella beside him.

 

Sehun noticeably turned sad over the topic. He sipped his Coke first before kicking his long legs on the floor. "We, uh..."

 

"Why the long face?" Jongdae probed. "Did you guys break up or something?"

 

To this day, Jongdae didn't know whether the soda Sehun drank had alcohol spiked in them for what happened next was Sehun going off on a drunken stupor. "He left me, hyung. Without any warning, without a word. He—He broke up with me through text.  _ Through text _ ! I tried doing what you told me to. I brought him chicken and beer one night but he still closed the door on me and told me not to disturb him! When I woke up, I just got this text of him wanting nothing more to do with me. I'm so, so, stupid."

 

"Aww, Sehun, I'm sorry." Jongdae twirled his pasta.

 

All of this were said with Sehun still having a poker face, though. "I gave everything to that guy. My virginity, first kiss, first everything. I even tried that whole BDSM thing he had going on. Oh god. All the pain from the times we had sex. The horrors, Jongdae... hyung..." Then he realized what he just said and he hacked and coughed.

 

"Yes." Jongdae set his fork down after losing appetite, standing up. "Thank you for all that information."

 

"Sorry, that was really annoying." Sehun got up to use the bathroom, turning his back on Jongdae.

 

That was a big mistake.

 

Jongdae straight-up smacked the back of Sehun's head with his foldable umbrella, watching as the tall boy blacked out and fell down in one swoop. Finally. It was getting tiring having to hear that yapping.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"Ah, you're awake already."

 

Sehun was shocked to find his mouth taped shut and his arms and legs bound by ropes on the wall. His vision was still fuzzy and all his limbs were sore. How long had he been out? And where was he? The color of the walls looked like that of his apartment's. He winced when he saw he wasn't wearing any clothes. Now his mouth was duct taped too?!

 

The voice belonged to none other than Kim Jongdae, the man standing before him. Kim Jongdae, the same guy who had given him relationship advice a while back. Sehun was too shocked to react. Meanwhile, Jongdae looked like he was enjoying Sehun's wincing face.

 

Sehun had no idea how he got himself into this. The only thing he remembered was trying to hold his pee. He was no stranger to ropes and being tied up, but then this was Kim Jongdae. Not Kyungsoo.

 

_ Kyungsoo _ . He needed to stop thinking about that vile creature.

 

"STOP!" Sehun tried to say, but his voice was muffled by the duct tape stretched across his mouth. Jongdae didn't look like he was planning to help him get it off, though, still holding that creepy doll and watching him squirm.

 

The look on Jongdae's face was unwavering. He probably wasn't going to remove any of his binds soon. More and more, Sehun became worried.

 

Just what was happening here?

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


None of the necessary steps made to accomplish his grand plan had been easy for Jongdae. For one, he had to wait until Sehun's roommate, Jaehyun, who had left for the holidays. When Sehun was out busy at work, Jongdae snuck into their apartment by using the key under the welcome mat. Kyungsoo had been the one to let the information slip back when they were still co-workers.

 

Studying everyday for the past week had ultimately bored him to no end. So Jongdae reckoned he needed some entertainment. Sehun, unfortunately, was just another one on his bucket list.

 

Sehun started screaming and thrashing. Moomin stepped forward beside Jongdae, waiting for his instructions. In front of them, Sehun was still trying to scream, turning red in the face. Jongdae gave Moomin a knowing nod.

 

Moomin twirled Sehun's exposed nipple before twisting it so hard it drew blood. Sehun screamed, shaking hard and rocking the ropes.

 

Jongdae watched it all with mild interest. "What's wrong, Sehun? Didn't you like it when Kyungsoo did this to you? I bet you were screaming how much you loved it like the little cumdumpster that you are."

 

Sehun's eyes widened at Jongdae's words and from the pain. Moomin moved onto the boy's neck, hands wrapping around his silky white skin. "He probably was almost choking you to death while you begged him for more.," Jongdae said, spitting on Sehun's face. " Did it arouse you to be used and abused, Sehun? You make me  _ sick _ ." He clawed his sharp nails on Sehun's neck, making the latter cry out even more.

 

"People like you who just let themselves be dragged and spat on..." Jongdae's eyes turned red when Sehun cried out again in pain. There were no tears. How lame and unrewarding.

 

It was a shame, Jongdae thought as his dark eyes glazed over Sehun's long form. Most girls would love to get their hands on a body like this. Yet, it was wasted on the imprints Kyungsoo had left, the bruises and the marks still visible from view. Jongdae couldn't care less about Kyungsoo, but after learning about their unhealthy relationship... he decided he needed to teach Sehun a thing or two.

 

Moomin's hands latched themselves on Sehun's raw neck again. "Tell me how you want me to kill you, Sehun," stated Jongdae, getting a bit bored with this performance. "I'll grant your little worthless life that much."

 

"Mphhff..."

 

"What was that? I couldn't hear you." Moomin's hold on Sehun's neck tightened. "Louder and clearer, please."

 

Sehun flailed. It was amazing how the ropes were still keeping him bound and tied up. Jongdae was in paradise when he imagined just how red those wrists would be after this. It'd be an interesting sight.

 

After a few seconds, Sehun looked like he was going to lose his breathing, yet his face still remained passive. Jongdae pushed Moomin back to get out of his way, so that now he himself was caressing pitiful Sehun's face. "Do you want to know how much I like touching people when they're moments away from their demise?" he asked in a low, deep voice. There were still no tears, and  _ dammit, _ that was not what Jongdae wanted. "It gives me a sense of superiority and power. Because it doesn't scare me like it should be. I can touch you all I want and not be disgusted for I know you can't do anything. And at that moment, I overpower and control you."

 

Sehun had given up on trying to make any noise. He just stared at Jongdae with lifeless eyes.

 

"That's not what I want, Sehun," Jongdae sighed, letting go. This was getting harder and harder to do. "Do you want me coming for Kyungsoo instead? You said he was the ah...the 'dominant' one, right? Should I try making him submit to me? Maybe you'd like it if he was in your situation right now. Or maybe I could just end his pathetic little li--" Jongdae halted. Tears had started spilling out of Sehun's eyes.

 

_ Finally _ . What was more fulfilling than the little bitch in front of him finally showing emotion?

 

It was time to put an end to this folly. Turning to Moomin with another nod, Jongdae watched as his companion picked up a knife. Sehun only cried louder. Ah, the  _ sound _ !

 

Moomin raised Sehun's chin up with the knife, making blood trickle down its edge. Jongdae closed in on his face. "Look how beautiful you are. Crying like a baby," he hummed. In one swift motion, Moomin slashed Sehun's throat. Blood started gushing out fast out of the area.

 

When the rest of Sehun's life had left him, Jongdae released the boy from his bonds, admiring the rawness of the red marks it had left. He took the weapon from Moomin and basked at his perfect reflection at the blade.

 

He left the body to rot in the apartment, along with his beautifully carved handwriting on Sehun's torso. The word "whore" never looked so beautiful until now.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The shop owner scrutinized Jongdae inquisitively. Jongdae tried not to let himself get addicted to the aroma of paint. Right now, he was worried about the fat guy in front of him. "You got a license, kid?" asked the guy, a snort punctuating his question as his eyes spotted Moomin in the passenger seat.

 

He had to do more than that to ruin Jongdae's good mood, though. Jongdae was high above the clouds.

 

"I'm paying you to give my car a paint job," Jongdae said, voice firm, resolute. "Not to ask questions."

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The news didn't bring up Sehun's story until a week later. His roommate, Jaehyun, had finally arrived together with his girlfriend when they were met with a decaying stench instead. The shock they had had been over the roof as soon as they followed where it came from.

 

Few friends and family attended the funeral of Oh Sehun that one rainy day. Not even Kyungsoo, Jongdae realized in contempt as he watched the procession, standing under his umbrella.

 

So much for that. The kid died living a sad, wasted life.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"You're not getting away from me now." Luhan trapped him against the railings of the rooftop in school. The strong breeze made Jongdae's hair unruly and his coat to flap against his skin. He was looking at anywhere but at the man inches away from him.

 

"I'll just jump off, then," Jongdae calmly retaliated, giving the ground a sideways glance. They were on the 8th floor of the building. Dying wouldn't be so bad, if it meant getting away from Luhan's minty breath.

 

"C'mon," Luhan singsonged. His hearty chuckle sent chills down Jongdae's spine. "Coffee at 8."

 

"You do know I hate coffee right, Mr. I-Know-All-About-Kim-Jongdae?"

 

Just then, the lone door to the rooftop opened. Luhan actually groaned as he turned around to find his soccer buddy, Minseok standing there with a duffel bag on his shoulders. Jongdae, however, tried to hide his smile.  _ That rat finally had some use _ .

 

"Oh thank  _ god _ you guys are here!" Minseok threw Luhan the soccer ball with one hand, lucky that the wind didn't blow it off into another direction. Luhan kicked the ball back and Minseok caught it with ease. "Luhan, the coach is calling for you. We need to practice for the big game this season."

 

The big game, of course. One of the most hyped events in the school. Anything concerning Luhan now generated a whole new level of hype and excitement. They were up against a rival sports academy. Jongdae knew all of this because Tao and Luhan wouldn't stop talking about it during lunch break, disrupting Jongdae's reading.

 

"So what's it gonna be?" Jongdae crossed his arms, challenging Luhan. "Coffee or soccer?"

 

Luhan scrunched his face. He looked so, so torn, and Jongdae was enjoying every little minute of it.

 

Minseok was eyeing the both of them weirdly. He tried to dismiss himself. "It's okay, Luhan. I'll just tell coach..."

 

"No, no." Luhan waved at him and eagerly grabbed his bag from beside Jongdae. "I'll get cut from the team if I skip one more practice." He faced Jongdae and mouthed, "Next time you won't get away."

 

Jongdae waved. "Bye, Luhan."

 

He certainly didn't miss the way Minseok gave him a smug, triumphant look, as if saying he just got the upper hand and Luhan was choosing him over Jongdae. Not like Jongdae cared, but it piqued his interest, nonetheless.

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"He likes you."

 

Luhan, who was tipping his chair backwards so he could get even closer to Jongdae, almost lost his balance. Mr. Choi eyed them both for five whole seconds before going back to his presentation. "Who are you referring to?"

 

Jongdae gave him an incredulous look. "For supposedly a smart person, you're kind of a dense idiot. Minseok, that's who."

 

Luhan almost doubled over in laughter, earning them another suspicious look from Mr. Choi. He was still laughing as he waved Jongdae off. "That's funny," he said, waving off Jongdae's words. "Nah, we're just bros."

 

" _ Riiight. _ You're probably the type to say "no homo" before sucking his dick. Of course." Why did Jongdae even bother?

 

Luhan was about to retaliate when Mr. Choi slammed down a heap of test papers to silence them in the subtlest way he could. Then he announced the upcoming final exams, and how he hoped they'd study enough back at Christmas break.

 

Come to think of it, Jongdae still had to memorize the lines from the last remaining pages from his Health textbook.  _ Damn _ . There was no time to waste.

 

"Study date?" Luhan offered, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

"--I would love to!" They both jumped back a little at the appearance of Minseok. Said boy was pulling Chanyeol's vacant chair to sit on it. He looked too overly-enthusiastic. "Study group? I've been struggling a bit lately because of the practices. I'm sure you know, Luhan. If!" Minseok pointed at their dumbfounded faces. "I have you two, also known as the first and second top students in this class, then what's stopping me from becoming the third?"

 

"Who's the first?" Jongdae asked immediately.

 

Minseok didn't have any answer to that, it seemed.

 

Jongdae inwardly sighed. He only wanted to study by himself. Not with Minseok, and certainly not with Luhan.

 

The guy in front of him was massaging his temples, irritated at getting cockblocked into torturing Jongdae himself. "Actually, we're planning on--"

 

_ Oh no, you don't _ . Jongdae sympathetically put his hands on Chanyeol's table, staring at Minseok with gentle eyes. " _ I  _ would love to help you, Minseok."

 

Luhan sucked in his breath and just gave up, turning back to face the blackboard. Minseok beamed at him, displaying an array full of white teeth. "You're such a good guy, Jongdae! God, thanks!"

 

"I get that a lot."

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The following week, Mr. Choi gave them back the results of the mock test they had conducted a few days ago. Jongdae was pretty sure he got them all correct. He had memorized the entire book word for word and there weren't any essays included in the test, thankfully. He sucked answering ethical questions.

 

But as soon as he received his test paper, Jongdae could only look at his 99 with cold, empty, lifeless eyes.

 

Minseok, who had somehow taken Chanyeol's chair as his new permanent seat, looked at Jongdae's paper easily. Jongdae had no time to hide it from his snooping eyes. "Nice," Minseok commented before going over to Luhan. "Luhannie, what did you get?"

 

Luhan just flashed the pest his test paper without so much as a word. 100.

 

Jongdae exhaled loudly.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"You know what you need, Jongdae? A break." Baekhyun kicked at the flow and set his his milkshake on the table. "You're studying practically 25/8. Like, I'm pretty sure you're going to get good results, anyway. Sometimes, as your friend, I just hate the perfectionist in you."

 

To get Baekhyun’s point across, Tao pushed Jongdae's untouched tray of juice and hamburger towards him. "You're already so skinny. Do yourself a favor, Jongdae."

 

Jongdae couldn't. Not when Luhan was looking at him, all amused, at his own attempt to overthrow Jongdae. He had to have known better not to fuck with a determined Jongdae, though. Jongdae closed his book loudly for everyone to hear. Baekhyun looked hopeful, but Jongdae just stood up and made his way out after grabbing Moomin. "I'm studying in the library," he announced.

 

"Agh, Jongdae!" Baekhyun called out after him. Jongdae gave an apathetic wave without even looking back.

 

"This is all mine then," he heard Tao proclaim behind him.

 

But of course Jongdae didn't go to the library. Baekhyun would just follow him and drag his ass back down the table for sure. No, sir. So he went to the emptiest corridor he could find, ending up walking down the halls of an old, abandoned building.

 

Jongdae was going over his notes when he heard the faint sound of tap water running. He looked around, then, squinting a sign that told him he was near the girls' bathroom. He was about to turn back and mind his own business when he saw a familiar figure reflected on the mirror.

 

Seulgi had one of her hands injecting a syringe on her bare stomach. This made Jongdae curious. Was Seulgi sick? Or was she taking illegal drugs?

 

The girl left the bathroom and screamed at the top of her lungs when she noticed Jongdae just standing there. "You scared me!" Seulgi glared at him, then shifted her eyes as she searched for any intruders in the area. "But, hey... did you see?"

 

Jongdae raised an eyebrow. "See what?" 

 

Seulgi let out a relieved sigh.

 

"Well, I didn't see anything except you injecting something in your body so  _ nope _ , nothing to worry about."

 

Seulgi blanched at this. "So you  _ did _ see! Please don't tell anyone. I have—" She fiddled with her thumbs. "I have Type 3 diabetes," she confessed, "And I just don't want anyone, especially my friends to know. I can't have people pitying me."

 

_ Believe me when I say I don't _ . Jongdae tilted his chin up, staring down at her. "And what do I get?"

 

"Really? You want some use out of this? You're such a horrible person!" Seulgi exclaimed, looking annoyed. "Why do I even like you..."

 

"Beats me." It was a good thing nobody could hear them Unless couple snuck into the old building or there was someone else hanging out in the rickety old place. Jongdae nodded towards an empty classroom. "How about we discuss the terms?"

 

Seulgi went red. "I--you can't possible be suggesting--"

 

Jongdae ignored her and opened the classroom door. They were met with darkness and Seulgi coughed at the onset of dust. Jongdae went around and opened one of the windows so the sun could give light.

 

"Jongdae-ya," Seulgi called after a coughing fit. "You can't tell anyone. You have to promise me."

 

"What exactly are you going to do about it?" Jongdae covered his hands with gloves.

 

"Anything, for fucks' sake!"

 

"Anything?" Jongdae considered this.

 

"Y-yeah..."

 

With that, Jongdae took steps forward towards Seulgi until their faces were only inches close. He watched as the girl gulped and widened her eyes. "Now that I see it..." Jongdae whispered huskily. "It does look pretty up close."

 

"Wh-what are you s-saying--" she squeaked uncharacteristically.

 

Jongdae smiled lazily and moved forward. Seulgi closed her eyes in an instant. Until Jongdae took the glittered barrette from her hair, smiling down at her in amusement. What was she expecting?

 

When she opened her eyes, Seulgi went red as a tomato.

 

"Pretty, pretty," Jongdae played around with the hairclip on his fingers, observing the accessory. Seulgi tried to snatch it away from his hands, but no luck. She only ended up getting even more flustered. He raised it high up so it was out of her reach. "I noticed that you always wear it. I'll borrow it for a few days."

 

"What?! Do you like these stuff, Kim Jongdae?!"

 

Jongdae pocketed the accessory. Eyes glinting, he smiled sincerely at Seulgi and ruffled her dark hair. "Thanks."

 

Seulgi was obviously surprised at the sudden show of affection. "Uh, yeah, sure. Just make sure to return it to me. It's important."

 

A moment of silence, then Jongdae brought his hand to Seulgi's face. Seulgi jumped back at the touch. "I'm also important to you, right?"

 

The girl stood there, all stiff and paralyzed. "Wh-Why are you being so weird, Jongdae-ya..."

 

"Then..." Jongdae caressed her face, and she leaned into the touch instantly. "You'll do anything for me, right?"

 

This woke her up, and she swatted the offending hand away. " _ What?! _ Why?"

 

"Diabetes? Barrette? Wow, your disease is already catching up on you if you've forgotten our deal already. You want to get found out?"

 

"Are you blackmailing me right now?!"

 

"Eh, it's not blackmail if you're willing to do it anyway."

 

"You--what gave you that idea?!"

 

Jongdae leaned back against the wall. The smile that curled up at the corners of his mouth was now gone. The image, together with the shadows framing his face, made Seulgi gulp down hard and shiver a little. He went around her frozen form and whispered low into her ear from behind, "You'll do it." She didn't even notice as he reached at her body to find  _ it _ . The thing he needed.

 

The poor girl was either too mesmerized or scared to regain her senses.

 

He left.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  


"The big game and then finals. They're trying to kill me." Luhan buried his face in his book while they were out at  _ their  _ hiding spot. Sadly, Jongdae had to share his ownership rights since Luhan still had a hold on Jongdae. How much more did he had to tolerate Luhan’s existence?

 

"No one told you to be such an overachiever," Jongdae commented as he bit on apple, one of his hands still busy writing on his notebook.

 

Luhan gaped. "This is coming from you?!"

 

"Just concentrate on your game," suggested Jongdae.

 

"Is this about me possibly beating you at exams?" Luhan snorted. " _ Babe _ , you shouldn't worry about that."

 

"Okay, no." Jongdae set his notebook down. "First of all, never call me that again. And second, it's not about this competition you've had in your mind..." Jongdae paused to glare at Luhan who just snorted again in response. " _ But  _ because if you win, you'll get a prize from me."

 

"I clearly remember you promising Chanyeol the same thing and look what he got."

 

Jongdae got his notebook and slapped it against Luhan's leg. "I'm serious."

 

"You're not. I don't trust you."

 

"What happened to being my man through and through? You hurt me." Why was this little bitch so hard to convince?

 

"We are going to win, though." Luhan bounced a soccer ball with one hand. "But not because you told me to. But because I'm Luhan and winning is what I do."

 

Jongdae curled his lips into a catliek smile. "Then I wish you all the best of luck."

 

Luhan was staring at him weirdly. "You're so creepy. I'm warning you, if you kill me, I'll just come back as a ghost and haunt you for life."

 

_ Oh, we wouldn't want that _ . Luhan shivered when Jongdae patted him. "I thought you were afraid of touching? Did you want to touch me that bad that it cured itself?"

 

"I saw a therapist," Jongdae lied. "These are what you call baby steps."

 

As Luhan turned away, Jongdae smiled to himself.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  


In the succeeding days, Luhan proved to be difficult to kick off of the soccer field. He practiced day and night, even missing some important classes along the way. Even Minseok was shocked at the sudden surge of determination, so much so that he couldn't help but say, "Man, your drive's something. I have no words."

 

Jongdae craned his neck and leaned in Luhan and Minseok's general direction, trying to hear more of their conversation. Health Ed class had just finished then, and they had to freshen up.

 

"You spend more time on the field than with your boyfriend now," Minseok commented. Jongdae shuddered.  _ Boyfriend?  _ Boyfriend?! Was that what Luhan told them? That they were together? Jongdae suppressed his own vomit.

 

But wait, was that happiness he detected in Minseok's voice? This snake...

 

"The game is important to me." Luhan left it at that.

 

Jongdae scoffed to himself and grinned.

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"Luhan? What's gotten into you, man? You better eat." Yixing nodded to the tray Luhan had set up for himself. Luhan's cheeks looked pretty dead and hollow and his lips were chapped, seemingly drier than the Sahara desert. Yixing tried to catch Luhan's attention again, pushing the tray in Luhan's direction, but to no avail.

 

"Thanks for worrying, but gotta go." Luhan reached for a protein bar and slung his red duffel bag on his shoulder. "Catch you guys later." Even his voice was croaky. They all watched him leave in a hurry.

 

"Does he even rest? I see him in the field 24/7." Jongin questioned, looking perturbed. Well, this undoubtedly aroused Jongdae's interest. Jongin was concerned about someone?

 

"You guys just don't get it. Only us athletic people know about the pressure before a big game." Tao flipped his hair like he was all high and mighty. "Being the president... exams... and then that game. It must take a toll on him."

 

"What about you, Taozi? How's your slow martial arts training? Your injury's not acting up, is it?" Baekhyun anxiously inquired.

 

Tao shifted his gaze, looking away from his boyfriend. "'Course not," he muttered in response.

 

Baekhyun kissed him on the cheek, happy with his answer.

 

Yixing didn't share their joy, creases on his forehead apparent as he whirled to face Jongdae. "Jongdae, I notice you’re... awfully close to Luhan these days," he murmured. Jongdae narrowed his eyes at this. "And that's great development and all but do you think you can make him take a break? Even just for a little bit? He could get sick."

 

"Yeah, sure," Jongdae said, voice cold, non-commital. He smiled.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


As time progressed, Luhan's face got more and more gaunt and his weight had dropped at an alarming rate.

 

"Maybe you need to tone it down," Jongdae said, feigning concern.

 

"Don't tell me what to do," Luhan snapped. Then he realized what he just said. He sighed and drank a bottle full of water in one go. "Look, just... lay off me for the time being, okay? There's only one thing I'm focused in and that's winning this thing."

 

"You  _ really  _ want that prize, huh."

 

Luhan didn't even bother denying.

 

His curiosity and emotions would get him places.

 

But for now, Jongdae hung his head low, trying to hide the widening smile on his lips.

  
  


-

  
  
  
  


When Jongdae got to school the following week, a herd of students were crowding the field. Something was going up. Normally, Jongdae wouldn't have paid things like these no mind, but he heard the name of the president. That was enough to set him off to stand by the sidelines and watch with the other students what was happening.

 

Amongst the crowd, two figures stood across from each other and Jongdae had to squint to make them out.  Luhan and Seulgi? Jongdae definitely didn’t have to adjust his glasses to notice the tension in the air. Oh, now he was  _ here  _ for this.

 

Luhan rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Seulgi?" he asked, voice booming across the space, breaking the ice.

 

"Fire the vice president, Kim Jongdae."

 

Everyone widened their eyes and cocked their eyebrows.  _ What? _ Jongdae caught a few students sneaking a look in his direction.

 

"This again?" Luhan's tone clearly stated that he had no time for this. "I already gave you a chance." He then moved past her. "I have practice, if you'll excuse me."

 

Seulgi blocked his way. Jongdae grumbled. What was she doing? "I'll officially make war with the student council if you don't!" she added, and Jongdae felt the second-hand embarrassment reverberate throughout. What was with everyone and declaring war on the student council? If anyone wanted his or her social life to plummet, this was the easiest way to go.  _ Don't tell me she's doing this for me just because I said I hated the council back then. _

 

"Move," Luhan said simply.

 

Seulgi contemplated for a few  seconds. Her minions were behind her, chatting in hushed tones. "Fine, I will," she grumbled, "But if you lose the soccer match, be prepared to have your vice president kicked out  _ and  _ lose your field to the female soccer team. You guys can have our watered down version."

 

Luhan only walked away in reply. Now that the fun was over, most of the students resumed their routines but a few stayed to whisper amongst themselves about what just happened. Jongdae didn't expect this, but this just paved a new, easier way for something he had been planning.

 

He breathed in deep. He didn't bother fighting the easy smile that crept to his lips.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  


"Dad," Jongdae greeted, making sure his footsteps were silent, as his dad hated noise. His father only grunted in acknowledgement, loosening his tie after a tiring day from work. Jongdae put on his best face, the kind you just couldn't say 'no' to. "I have a favor to ask."

 

His mother's head whipped up at his words, but she went back to reading her reports, making it seem like she wasn't listening. Jongdae didn't pay attention to her, though; he was focused on his dad.

 

Mr. Kim sighed. Somehow, he knew this was inevitable. "Son..."

 

"It's for a school project!" Jongdae interjected, raising his pitch. "Specifically my health ed class. If you really want to know more I can show you my notes." Jongdae was born ready for this.

 

Mr. Kim only squinted, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the bar. He poured some for himself into his glass, ice cracking at the contact, and swirled the glass before taking a long swig. "Tell me the truth. You've never asked an innocent favor before."

 

Jongdae sneered. "You really are my father." He took the glass from his dad and poured some more. "You need to down one more if you're going to listen. It's for personal research purposes."

 

"Jongdae, I'm warning you. One  _ more _ \--"

 

"Dad," Jongdae stopped him.

 

"What is it? Is it legal?" his father said in defeat, shoulders slumping.

 

Jongdae smiled and smiled and  _ and smiled _ , so much that he didn't notice his mother sobbing at her husband, asking, "Where did we go wrong with our children?"

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


He was still beaming as he observed the sharp object in his hands, carefully examining it. The light shining from the computer screen illuminated his face. He continued on twirling the blade with his fingers, still in a daze on what he was about to do next.

 

It took a minute or two before he eventually set the thing down and got back to work on his computer. The big bold letters of THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE SEASON YET stared back at him on the school's official website. It said in the article that the game would kick off tomorrow. Jongdae should go support Luhan as a supportive  _ boyfriend _ , right?

 

He absentmindedly dialed a number on his phone and tucked it between his ear and shoulder, scrolling through the website to read more news as he waited for Luhan to pick up. He was in between reading the full article about Chanyeol's death when, at long last, Luhan answered.

 

"Yes?" came Luhan's greeting. He sounded kind of choked up and beat. He sounded so worn out. "I'm kind of really busy right now."

 

Jongdae didn't know there would come a day where Luhan would not jump at the phone with him calling. "As your secret lover," he began, pausing to wrinkle his nose, "I'm feeling kind of neglected."

 

There was a sigh from the other end. "You know damn well why I'm doing this."

 

"And I'm so proud of you!" Jongdae announced, closing his eyes. "You know what this calls for? Something— You know what, let's meet up tomorrow. 5 a.m., in school. I've seen all your effort and I'm giving you your prize early."

 

"Yes. Because meeting a killer somewhere with no people is totally advisable."

 

"Luhan, I'm in a good mood and I kind of don't want you to ruin it."

 

"Jongdae," Luhan said, exasperation thick in his voice, and Jongdae could just picture the other leaning back and closing his eyes as he contemplated his choices. "You're lucky enough our coach tells us to be at the school by 5:30."

 

Jongdae chuckled. "It's a good luck charm, Luhannie  _ hyung _ ," he teased, imitating Minseok and drawling his voice out in a whine.  _ God _ . Remind him to never do this again. "So, are you in or not?"

 

"What's this? Have you totally fallen for me?" Luhan cackled after a while — a familiar ugly sound. "The almighty Kim Jongdae? Can't believe juggling balls would do the trick."

 

"I'm hanging up." And he did. Jongdae wanted to barf at the godawful conversation he just had. But that wasn't important. What was important now was that he had  _ another number _ to dial.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Part of Jongdae was beginning to regret ever suggesting a 5 a.m. as a good time to meet up. He hugged himself in the cold as he waited in the front of their hiding spot. The cool air only worsened his mood, coupled with the fact that he didn't get enough sleep. At least there weren't any people around just yet. The soccer guys are at the other end of the school.

 

A sluggish Luhan arrived just in time, and he looked worse than ever. His eyes were still droopy and Jongdae swore he was watching a walking skeleton walk in his direction.

 

_ Poor Luhan. Overworking student president and soccer player. And secret boyfriend of Jongdae.  _ Imagine having all those titles. You'd think he was the luckiest man in the world.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"This better be good," Luhan murmured as a greeting. He tried not to let the cold weather deter him and look weak in front of Jongdae. He already looked sick from practicing too hard. His mother had been totally unconcerned, more worried that he was more focused on practicing that he practically forgot to get any studying done.

 

"What's this? You look like a dead person already," Jongdae commented.

 

Kim Jongdae. His enigmatic rival slash his  _ supposed to be secret lover _ . It was illegal for him to look that good in this weather.

 

For some reason, Luhan was shaking and it was not from the cold. "And whose fault is that?" he cut. "Just be quick. I still have practice." Honestly, he liked Jongdae and all, but this game thing needed to be done once and for all so he could back to being the cool president everyone loved.

 

"So impatient." The man beckoned Luhan closer and hey, was that his voice changing? "The game doesn't even start 'til afternoon."

 

Luhan shrugged, uncaring. Then the weirdest thing happened that Luhan would never forget. Jongdae grabbed the back of Luhan’s neck and brought their faces together. Luhan could smell a hint of toothpaste coming from Jongdae's mouth. But he was too busy widening his eyes to register anything more.

 

"See?" Jongdae hummed. "You're all so weak now from practicing, I can just—"

 

Before Luhan could reply or even protest, Jongdae had already put his gloved hands under Luhan's shirt and was letting them travel all over his torso. Luhan's breath immediately hitched. He didn't know if it was from the lack of sleep but he was so slow to react today. By the time he regained his senses, Jongdae was already pulling away.

 

He was dazed and disappointed. "Jongdae...?"

 

The other didn't talk, instead his hands moved again, this time on Luhan's soccer shorts. Jongdae was playing with the hem and he looked up and gave Luhan a questioning smile. He was  _ so  _ sexy, Luhan couldn't even... He needed this to stop. Why do it here now of all places? And why was Jongdae acting like this? Had he finally succumbed to teenage hormones?

 

"J-Jongdae," he gasped when the other finally took all of his shorts off.  _ It's damn cold, my balls are gonna freeze off! _ But his body wasn't listening to his brain at all. "Not here," he managed to let out.

 

Luhan was never the type to be short of sexual pleasures. In fact, when he wasn't busy, he'd go to parties and bars and pick up a guy or two there to enjoy the rest of the night with. But there was something so exciting about having Jongdae, his dream man, do this to him. And in a public place, even. So exciting that it was muddling all his reason.

 

"What are you talking about?" Jongdae whispered on his ear, eyes half-lidded. "This is perfect." And then he took off Luhan's shirt, hands already gliding down his body. Thankfully, the sun was already rising and the cold weather was slowly leaving them.

 

Luhan was too busy making sure he felt every single touch of Jongdae's hand to notice the other twiddling something with his fingers. And then he did the unexpected.

 

Luhan screamed as Jongdae stuck something inside his stomach. He doubled over in pain, yelling out obscenities. It was  _ inside him _ . Luhan felt so weak that he couldn't even push Jongdae away as the latter continued pricking him with the syringe.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"And down, he goes," Jongdae singsonged, a bit disappointed that this was such an easy deal. He  _ did _ expect Luhan's lack of resistance, though. The boy had absolutely no energy to fight back. Jongdae made sure he'd tired and exhausted him enough 'til today.

 

Moomin let go of the syringe he was holding. Jongdae had told Moomin earlier that he was supposed to fill Luhan's body with the liquid from the syringe. If Luhan ever fought back, Moomin was to make sure he stayed down. Oh, he stayed down, alright.

 

Jongdae bent his legs to get a better look on Luhan in agony. So this was what it was like to die slowly. Fascinating, even more than strangulation. Jongdae, of course, made sure Luhan got special treatment and died an agonizing death. He was his favorite after all.

 

"Mother..." Luhan gasped. "...fucker." The veins on his neck were protruding.

 

Jongdae checked his watch. According to the internet, it would only take a few minutes now before Luhan inhaled his dying breath. "I expected you to last longer, Luhan," Jongdae said, a sly smirk stretching across his lips

 

Luhan's body jerked, still in misery. "I..." he tried to speak but no sound came out. His eyes were wide and empty as both blood and saliva poured out of his mouth.

 

"You see, Luhan, I never liked you. Never did, never will.  But your smart ass already knows that. So when you get into hell, don't bother waiting for me." He was using the same words he said with Chanyeol. History repeated itself.

 

"Oh, right!"  _ Was Luhan still alive? He’d better be! _ Jongdae was still not finished talking, so Luhan had better not be rude and die  _ now _ . "You wanted to touch Moomin the first day we met, right?" He reached for the doll and mockingly put it in front of a barely breathing Luhan. "But I won't let you. Even if that's your dying wish. I've already tainted myself by touching you."

 

There had been no answer.

 

Luhan died with his eyes and mouth open.

 

Jongdae inspected the scene. Luhan, in his naked glory, was staining the asphalt ground with his blood. And wait, were those actual tears in his eyes? There was no way Luhan would do that. But all Jongdae cared about now was how ridiculous Luhan looked. He couldn't wait 'til everybody saw it.

 

Even though it was dangerous, Jongdae opened his phone and took a quick picture. He wanted something sweet like this imprinted in his memory.

 

"Oh, shoot." Jongdae heaved a sigh. "I forgot all about your prize." He left an object on Luhan's hand, curling Luhan's lifeless fingers around it before pulling away.

 

Jongdae got up, dusted off his clothes, then turned around. But soon, he was rooted in place, glued to the ground as he saw someone familiar gaping at the whole scene a few feet away.

 

Jongdae stared on as the man sucked in a deep, violent breath.

 

It was Jongin.

  
  


TRACK 2 FINISHED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ###  faq. 
> 
> ##### 1\. Who's doing the killing? Moomin or Jongdae? 
> 
> \- I feel like my bad writing's at fault here when people still ask this. It's Jongdae, who has the illusion that Moomin is the one murdering people. He has mental problems, forgive him. 
> 
> If you have any violent reactions, hate on why I did Jongdae this wrong, comments or questions, visit my[ curiouscat. ](https://curiouscat.me/chenstagram)
> 
> Thank you to Reeza, Denise, Ansa and just anyone who made this possible to happen. Oh and Trisha, I guess.


End file.
